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lost and confused
October 11, 1999
9:55 pm
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sweets
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hey there everybody, i'm kinda new at this so bear with me. i just have some porblems that nobody around here seems to understand. i'm a 20 year old college student. my parents went through an ugly divorce about three years ago, and my dad is no longer very supporive of us kids or my mom.i can handle, but my mom has recently started seeing a psychlogist and take anti depressants. she has talked about killing herself. i'm so worried! what can i do to help her? i feel so helpless, and i don't know what i would do without her.

October 11, 1999
10:12 pm
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KTHOMAS
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Go get help for yourself. I say this because you have an awful lot on your shoulders. You need someone to help you understand your mother and that even though you do the best you can to help her...you are not responsible for fixing her. I know you feel helpless and scared. I don't want you to lose your mother...i lost mine at the age of eleven. But you need to help you too...I don't know what is available in your area but maybe your school has some information that can lead you to some type of support group or counseling.

Are you an only child? Do you have other relatives that you can talk to? I will pray for you and your mother sweets. Hugs to you...

October 15, 1999
7:58 am
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starie
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Dear Sweets,

It seems as though you are almost becoming a parent to your own mother. This can be an exhausting role to assume when you are only 20, and you need to remind yourself that you are the child in this relationship.

Your mother is seeking help which is great because it means she has a motivation to heal herself and the pain she is in. Perhaps you could just simply offer your support in her bid to get better, and at the same time do not try and fight the battle itself for her. She can and is doing it herself and I'm sure your acknowledgement of that would be enough for her.

Try not to get lost in your mother's pain. You have a life to lead as well and carrying the burden for others can simply be exhausting. What a wonderful caring person you are! Perhaps you can offer some of that care and love to yourself.

If you need anymore help then let me know. I am Starie or Xena.

Loads of love.

October 15, 1999
8:58 am
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hazza
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hi sweets,
starie is right, i know where you are at, at a similar age i found myself being consellor to both my parents, having to keep secrets for each of them and finding that they both were relying on me to be strong for them. The problem is no-one can take all that pressuer day in day out, i am still counting the cost of that stressful period so i know what it takes out of you.
You do need to have some one you can talk this through with, you may not be able to change all the events in you and your mothers life right now, but you must make sure that you can release the pressure you are under in a healthy way, for example councelling.
Please keep in mind that your mother is being honest when she tells you how she feels and it is scary, but she is getting help and this is a very good thing for her, try to support her all you can but don't forget about you in the process.
best of luck and keep talking to us!
Hazza

October 15, 1999
9:07 am
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lost soul
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Dear sweets,
when I read your thread. It seems to me like my dear daughter is asking for the same answer.(she is only 7 years old).
Don't worry,your mother will be able to handle the situation. ( with help from others,professional or other related help )You are to young to carry this on your own shoulder.I am sure your mother will not wish you to feel lost and hopeless.
Children are innocents when a divoice is due.All parents in the world will not wish to put their children in this kind of situation if possible.
May god bless you always!

From : Hope

October 18, 1999
10:58 am
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bonnie
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Hi, this is my first time telling people about my problem. I broke up with my boyfriend 5 months ago because someone is threatening to harm him. Out of no choice, I've to follow what she ask me to do. During these few months, I had given her fifteen thousands dollars and to raise this sum of money, I've to work several jobs. In the end I worked as a social escort cos it can help me earn what I want.
I solved this problem myself and to ensure that my boyfriend is safe, I told him a lot of lies to make him hate me. In the end, he really hate me but during this period, I discovered that I had his baby and the only way I can do is to go abortion. I just feel that God is so unfair to me! I'm doing all this is just because I want to protect my loved one but why should I be the one who suffered so much?
Now he don't trust me, I tried to explain to him but he doesn't believe at all. I even tried to commit suicide but was saved and hospitalised for 4 days. He came to visit me once only. I asked myself, is he really worth to let me do so much things? We had been together for 3 yrs and he used to dote me so much but now he seems become another person.
Last time,I used to hurt him a lot by breaking up with him but that's all past and now I'm changing for better. Now then I realise what I should do to maintain a relationship. I shouldn't solve the problem myself and let him misunderstood me for so long!
What I should do now? I really love him a lot and I can't live without him. I'm willing to do anything just to let him come back to me but who can help me?

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