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loser alert!.....am I reading too much into it?
August 2, 2005
6:02 pm
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basketcase
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September 24, 2010
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Ok. Haven't been here for awhile, but here goes. Same guy on and off for a year and a half. He's been living with me since the end of May, and things were going great. I'm usually really nice and understanding, try to help out when he has a problem. In July, he wanted to go home to see his family who he hasn't seen in 4 years. So, I offered for him to take my van since it would be cheaper for him to take it than to buy airline tickets or whatever. Meanwhile, I rented a car for me and my kids to take a short vacation. Long story short, he extended his vacation by about a week, which left me stranded at home with my 3 kids. We had just sold his truck, and, seeing as how I was broke due to paying all the bills (his money went to fixing the truck and his vacation), I had to dip into his truck money for groceries, and to pay a couple of bills that were due to be disconnected. Anyways, when I got paid, I gave him $750 to get another truck, but told him that he would absolutely have to help with the bills and rent this month, which he said he would do. Now, rent is due, and he has not given me a dime! Now, he is telling me that I am inconsiderate, because I need to let him know where "his money is going". Keep in mind, that he has his money! Anyways, I am once again broke due to this situation, and he didn't even bother to come home last night. To top it off, I noticed a blazer pull up in the alley right behind my house (which my back patio looks out onto). There were a couple of girls in the blazer, and when I looked back out the window, they were still sitting there, (I could see the cigarette)! Coincidence? Or, am I just pissed off and paranoid? I think I'm done anyways. He said that he would make sure "his bills were paid and his kids were taken care of" (he has 2 kids, I have my 3). So, am I wrong to just tell him to get out? There's more issues here than just finances. He's also a recovering (or so I thought) drug addict, and he drinks quite a bit. I know that he screwed up and used last weekend, and I can't help but think that his recent behavior and the car out back last night might have something to do with that. Just venting, I guess. Looking for some insight.

August 2, 2005
7:20 pm
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SassyAlex
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Wow, that's a lot to handle. This guy is not in recovery any more. This seems like typical addict behavior. Since he is using again, the best thing to do would be to separate yourself from him. I know this is going to be so difficult because of the children and finances, but you must do it. Get out before he costs you more, financially and emotionally.

I'm sure at some point he will come at you with reasons and manipulations in order to get you to stay. Remember that a person in his state will say anything, don't fall into it.

Unfortunately, with someone like this, a relationship will never, ever work until he is truly clean and following recovery for a long time.

Good luck to you, this is such a difficult situation.

August 2, 2005
7:27 pm
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Anonymous
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Dear Basketcase,
My gut feeling is that you should get rid of this guy as soon as possible. Everything about spells out L-O-S-E-R! I definitely think you are right to be alerted. No, you are not reading too much into it. Get out while you can.

August 2, 2005
7:40 pm
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basketcase
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Thanks for the input. Nice to know that I am not just a paranoid "basketcase", losing my mind. Only thing is, getting him to leave may be the most difficult thing. It's my house, his name isn't on the lease, nor does he have any bills in his name. I'm keeping the door locked (there is no key to the top deadbolt), so he can't get in, not that he is trying so far. He hasn't even bothered to call. I am doing a pretty good job convincing myself that he is definitely using again, hence the jekyll and hyde behavior. I definitely don't need that, and neither do my kiddos. Thanks again.

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