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Lord...let the healing begin. I finally did it!
June 6, 2005
2:18 pm
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CAMER
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HI DUSTY, (((heres some hugs for you girl))) i hope you are doing ok, and yes, he contacted you, and now if you contact him, you could get back together somehow, I beleive in the no contact to fully not have a person in your life. These days, and weeks ahead may be tough for you, just know you have lotsa support here from us, and my prayers are with you.
Camer

June 6, 2005
9:33 pm
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balancesekr
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September 27, 2010
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hi dusty, I just wanted to say hello and congrats on the steps you are taking for yourself.

I think you getting yourself ready to heal is great.

To quote you, "I just don't know if I can handle this pain. He didn't even say a word to me so obviously he doesn't even care. Thats what hurts the most. He just let me leave."

The pain you are going through with this guy is worse than the pain you will face healing. Either way, there is pain.

Good, he contacted you, that makes you feel good. He checked up on you. Take that good feeling and don't contact him. Try really, really hard.

Even if you slip up here and there, its OK. If you make it an absolute not to contact him, you may want to even more. So just take things minute by minute, post here, whatever you want.
balance

June 8, 2005
10:29 am
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dustygirl
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thanks for all your support. Today I am really down and lonely. I just miss him holding me at night like he always did. I talked tohim yesterday morning and asked why he was so angry at me - he told me because I left him at a time when he needed me the most. He's going through a huge lawsuit with the company he owns and if he loses it will cost him millions...I know allthis, so now I feel so guilty that I left him. He hasn't called or emailed - it's like he doesn't even care that I am gone. I am so confused right now and am at a all time low this morning. I just can't seem to let go - i love him and just want him to love me back.

sorry for rambling - just having ahard time today with my decision.

June 8, 2005
11:26 am
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2bstrong
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Dusty,

You're not rambling. It all makes perfect sense to me. I'm sorry you are hurting and sad today. It's so easy to miss all of the good little things about our partners, and all of the moments.

Please be wary of the trap that "he needs you". It could also be seen as "he's using you" as a sponge to soak up his troubles too. You have enough to take care of yourself.

We can't change them, Dusty. We can't make them want us, love us, need us, the way we want or need to be loved. That is a fact. They are who they are and we know it. We are just choosing to hang on.

Love you, 2b

June 8, 2005
2:46 pm
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dustygirl
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Thanks 2b - it's just that I feel so worthless today that if I was only better, etc... he'd want me more involved in his life and not just the 50% it has been (if even that much) - I know it's ridiculous.

How are you holding up? Are you feeling any better? I pray for you and think about you often as my relationship was only 3 years not 10+. I admire you for being so strong.

June 8, 2005
2:59 pm
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2bstrong
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Dear Dusty,

There is no possible way that you could be more perfect than you already are! This is a phase you're going through, believe me, it will pass. I can't believe I made it through the "if only I was, or had been" phase. If I made it Dusty, you can. I know you can. I truly believe in you.

Like kc always says--"it's not you--it's him! It's him! It's him!

I'm still mad about the fact that he told you you abandoned him.

Dusty, as sure as you have the bad days, you will have the good days. I notice that when I attempt to contact my ex, I get depressed and anxious. It never fails! But if I go a long time without contacting him, I get really strong. However, in those times of strength, when I do have a a weak moment or an urge, it is very, very strong and becomes like a weight on my shoulders. It happened this past weekend, and I just gave in because the pain was too great. These past two days have been a bit sad, but not as bad as the contact-hangover's from earlier in the separation.

I will say some very, very special prayers for you today and tonight. You will get through this day, and this week, and this pain.

((((dusty)))) with love and care, from 2bstrong.

June 8, 2005
3:16 pm
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peacesoul
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Dusty, no matter how you break this apart, it's going to hurt, but trust me, I am only 4 months into my break-up and I started to feel great after 3 months. The no contact rule is really the ONLY way to heal.

I am here to say, it does get better. I was so broken as you are here and I am all better now.

It takes time, in this time, feel the pain, cause from pain comes TRUE healing..trust me !

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