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Looking for a way out
April 17, 2000
1:13 am
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michelle02
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September 24, 2010
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I don't know where to start. I ended a traumatic relationship with an abusive guy a couple of years ago. I am glad I got out of it and moved away. I appear to be dealing with it just fine. I even went back to school for an advanced degree. I've been dating other people on and off but nothing serious. Whenever I met someone, I managed to pick out their potential faults and not to pursue it further. I know deep down I just can't trust a guy. I don't even think it's worth my effort to get to know a new guy. I rather be watching TV by myself or hanging out with friends. I wasn't like this before, but I can't help it.

The fact that sometimes I have nightmares doesn't help either--nightmares like being chased by him or trying to hide from him. The dreams don't happen often now, but when they do, I am depressed for days.

I don't want to blame my eating disorder on him, but he is associated with it. I figure I must of picked it up from him. When we were going out, he binged on late night snacks--which I never did before I met him. Now I catch myself overeat on sweets when I have something stressful coming up the next day, and get depressed while and after I snack, then I'd work very hard at the gym to try to compensate what I put in my body. I don't know exactly how I developed this mess with food issues. I read somewhere that all food issues have something to do with gaining or losing control. Well, I feel like I'm always losing control after I binged and am very desparate to gain it back.

I am thinking about going to therapy, or join a support group, or both, especially after watching that movie "28 Days". I think it's time to get some help and stop deceiving myself. Can somebody recommend something in Arizona? or have similar experience to share?

April 17, 2000
5:57 am
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janes
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Sounds like these issues were there all along and either the relationship brought everything to a head or some new awareness made you realize these behaviors were unhealthy or he makes a good scapegoat or all three or something totally different.

What you will find here are ideas from a far flung group of people with a zillion different ideas.

The quickest way to find a reputable therapist os to: 1) talk to your medical dr. 2) talk to a friend, 3) check the yellow pages, 4) call the local Community Mental health aggency, 5 talk to yur pastor 6) call the counseling center at your university or college etc. etc. etc.

Until you resolve whatever issues there are that caused you to become involved with an abusive person to start with you will continue to choose fellas that may not be healthy either.

At least you are aware that these people have faults. You might be throwing the baby out with the bathwater but pride yourself on taking care of your self now. what a major step.

Sure there are other thinkgs you need to fix but you sound like you are on the right path.

Let us know how you get on...also check out http://www.drirene.com...this site deals with abuse issues and is good too.

Good luck!!

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