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lonely/afraid
January 25, 2001
5:26 pm
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mara
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I was divorced three years ago, married 25 years to an abusive addict/alcoholic. I am lonely without him, he remarried and I'm not afraid to go out, I just don't like blind dates or bar settings. I'm also afraid that I'll pick the same kind of guy.

January 25, 2001
8:15 pm
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Molly
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September 30, 2010
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So what about a bunch of girl friends. Healing from that type of relationship takes lots of time and lots of work, post traumatic stress disorder is real, and if the work is not done, could scare off a good catch. Take a dance class, take an art class, go to some sort of group gathering. If you have not done the work, it is almost a sure bet you will attract the same type of guy, it all depends on how healthy you are, but you are some what wiser now, and gotta try right? Many churches and temples have set up singles clubs, safer than bars, eh? No need to be lonely, or afraide, feel the fear, and get back on the horse with a smarter approach. Personally I think more women are having more fun being single........ Just what I have heard. I know I miss it, 🙂

January 25, 2001
8:19 pm
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solitary
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September 24, 2010
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Dear Mara,

There are more places to meet decent individuals besides bar settings and on blind dates. Like perhaps your favorite bookstore or library, or maybe casually bumping into someone at the mall or in a grocery store. What else do you like to do besides go out to bars? Perhaps that is the place that you will meet your mate. I can't begin to go into detail about understanding what it is like to deal with an abusive addict...But I hope you take advantage of the support groups for family and friends of alcoholics. Maybe there is someone in those groups that can provide you with emotional support and perhaps could be a man of interest..

January 28, 2001
3:46 pm
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steveareno6
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Mara,
Start with small steps. Get out of the house and go the mall or to the movie. Join a small group like bowling league or go to a basketball game with some friends. Someplace public, but where you canmake contacts with other adults. A dance class or exercise club may also be a good place to start. Get on with your own life. Most of our fears are just our imaginations playing tricks on us and almost all our fears have no real value. We give them way too much credit. Remember small steps.
Also, write down some things you like about yourself and read them often. We all have good qualities - lets take advantage of them.
There are people out there who care.
Steve

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