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Lonely evening...send hugs...Fantas
April 29, 2007
2:58 am
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fantas
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...I just feel so low and antisocial today. I was invited to a birthday celebration and made up and excuse so that I wouldn't go. I spent the day by myself but I felt okay this evening when it occurred to me that I actually feel lonely. I found myself wanting to make contact with the guy I am obsessing over but that God I came here to write. Nothing in particular brought this on. I just feel low...do you guys understand this feeling? I wrote a thread earlier about false intimacy and today I realize that there is not one person I want to call and tell that I feel sad and can they come over...how sad is that. I need to do better in creating true to life friends. My family is away but I don't think I could confide my loneliness to them...it's not that kind of family. We rarely talk about how we feel... any thoughts...thank you for reading. It feels good to just write it out.

April 29, 2007
3:02 am
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mamacinnamon
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((((( hugs )))))

It's a grieving process. You must grieve the loss of your relationship just as you would a death. you hang in there and keep the no contact. You'll be fine.

April 29, 2007
6:26 am
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courage to change
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September 24, 2010
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Hi Fanta
Ive only been on this site about two week, and you were one of the first people who responded so positively to me. I have been watching some of the threads, and just wanted to let you know how inspirational your feedback is to people. I think you are absolutely brilliant. Keep up the good works. x Enjoy your week end, and dont forget to spoil you in everything you do when you feel like this. You are a wonderful person. x

April 29, 2007
10:12 am
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readyforachange
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(((fantas))) I'm sorry you are feeling down. I know the feeling well, and it will pass. We do grieve over relationships we lose, no matter how short or long they last. Lately, just when I thought I'd finished grieving the loss of my marriage, I lost my dad and ended a new relationship with someone I had dated for 4 months. It was so hard to go right back to the grieving process again...

I know how you feel...take care of yourself, and know that sometimes posting here will help.

April 29, 2007
12:43 pm
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fantas
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(((((mama, courage, ready)))))
Thank you all. You are all right, I do feel a little better this morning. I think I'll go for a swim or run or just watch tv. Courage, thank you so much for you nice words. I try to give back what others are giving me. Have a good day you all...

April 29, 2007
1:23 pm
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atalose
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Fantas,
For me when I was going through those lonely feeling isolating myself only made me feel worse. I would push myself to go out and be around other people. I didn't have to share with others what I was not ready to share just getting out of myself for awhile would help. I also would walk alot, make myself get up and get dressed and do something. I would listen to books on cd's while walking, books on fiction not self help. I needed a break from myself and those feelings and I allowed myself that time.
It does take time, time we wish would fly by but often seems endless. I am glad you posted here instead of making contact, I realized all that ever did was make me more miserable and feel even worse about myself. My strength began to build in my NOT making contact and once I had that strong foundation under my feel the rest seemed to come together. Hang in there, keep posting, we understand what you are going through and you don't have to share your feelings with anyone who might not relate, keep those people as distractions and open up here if that makes you feel better.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

April 29, 2007
5:06 pm
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fantas
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atalose, I hear you. I'll be attending a group this evening. I am just having an emotional melt down here. Every once in a while I'll remember or think of things and just come compeletly unglued. I went to a spiritual gathering yesterday sort of like church for Christians and I saw all these seemingly happy families and I felt to sad and I am still in that funk. Just balling my eyes out. I don't even know how I could explain my state to anyone who hasn't been there. I have learnt to just ride it out I know I'll feel better when it is all done...thank you:)

April 29, 2007
5:24 pm
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readyforachange
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Oh, wow...you are brave fantas. Church was always the hardest place for me to be after my divorce. For about a year or so, it was SO hard to sit and watch the families there that seemed so happy. I was so jealous. The only thing that got me through was to remember how happy my family might have seemed to an outsider sitting near us at church...and how truly dysfunctional and unhappy we really were.

I'm glad you are feeling a little better, but you might want to avoid certain places that are swarming with happy families right now...so hard.

April 29, 2007
6:34 pm
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Rasputin
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(((Fantas))) You've been giving all of us wonderful advice. Bless you! I'm so impressed by your active and warm spirit!!!!

When I came here, I was dating an unhealthy guy to whom I was obsessed over just like you. What kept me from contacting him is a thread here entitled "Let it go" by T D Jakes. I highly rocommend you to read and save that thread. Each time I want to contact that guy...I would read that thread and the urge would go away.

I am praying for you today hoping you would feel better soon(((Fan)))!!!

April 29, 2007
8:03 pm
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Shaney
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(((fantas))) SO glad you're feeling better today. Let's hope it's a trend, and that each of your days gets increasingly better. :o)

Love - Shaney

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