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Lolli....an update
February 9, 2009
1:39 pm
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lollipop3
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Hello peeps,

I'm back with an update and could use some support.

Things with FF have been pretty much the same. We continue get along fine. Me and the kids continue to get along fine. The kids' mothers continue to be desparate, pathetic, ridiculous fucking douchebags.

Nothing new right?

Right.

BUT......

It seems at this point that Wingnut has taken the back seat to the ex-wife who has come out as the front-runner for Queen Douchebag.
And for some reason has taken to calling me things like the "flavor of the week" and FF's "girl toy". Even went so far this weekend to send a text message to FF...ON HER 11 YEAR SONS CELLPHONE...telling FF to tell her son "the truth"....that his "girl toy hates children"! She actually took her son's phone away from him while he was texting with his father and wrote that!!!!

Now with that being said.......

It appears that she allows him to get the tax write-off for his son (being that she doesn't work/pay taxes and wouldn't benefit from it) BUT instead of making that "official"...he has to ask her "mother may I" every year for her to sign the paper.
Which he is planning on doing tonight.

Now my problem is this.....

He claims that if she doesn't sign the paper then "that's it.....I'm all done with her". But if SHE DOES sign the paper then what???? She gets to continue to disrespect me whenever the fuck she feels like it?????

He says that's not the case but the truth of the matter is that that is exactly the case. And I don't know what to do about it.

On the one hand....I want him to tell her to go fuck herself and not take anything from her. I want him to choose ME OVER MONEY!

On the other hand....I know how much he needs that money and I don't want him to have to choose me over money.

So here I sit. Feeling completely disrespected and not knowing what to do about it.

And the worse part is.....HE MADE ME FEEL WORSE THAN SHE DID! Because I feel like exactly what I said above....that as long as he gets money....then I am supposed to just suck it up and "be the better person".

Of course he says he's going to "tell her off" and let her know that "her behavior is unacceptable", blah, blah blah, but so fucking what? As long as she knows she's still got him by the balls....she is going to continue.
In the words of Dr.Phil.....we teach people how to treat us and it doesn't matter what he says to her. Actions speak louder than words do they not?

Please...someone help me with this. Believe me....if I thought he didn't need that money, I'm pretty sure I'd be DEMANDING he tell her to go fuck herself. But I know he needs it. And I don't believe for minute that he feels good about any of this. But I still can't help but feel completely disrespected in this whole thing and I hate that I have absolutely no control over any of this. Other than to leave him which I don't want to do.

Suggestions anyone?

February 9, 2009
2:24 pm
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sdesigns
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Hi Lolli:

Can't FF get something in writing that would be perpetual rather than having to deal with this every year? Because taxes are something that has to be done every year- is he going to go thru this every year? Will be be willing to walk on eggs shells all year every year so that he can get this money from her?

I guess if this is going to be an ongoing issue, he needs to resolve it somehow. Otherwise this will be an annual problem.

Lolli, have you moved in with him yet? In my opinion, I think it might be wise to hold off a bit as things keep coming up and you might not see the entirety of the dynamics he has with these women, and how they will affect your life. These women are here to stay (because of the kids) and they're going to be in your hair for the long run I think.

I agree that you have been disrespected and understand how you feel. The women keep taking stabs at you and your relationship shouldn't really be any of their business as long as it doesn't affect their kids. they should be in the background of FF's life, not in the foreground, ya know?

sd

February 9, 2009
2:30 pm
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lollipop3
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Ok....I just got off the phone with him and after talking it out...I am feeling better.

In trying not to repeat past mistakes....instead of jumping to conclusions, over-anylizing, etc.....I told him exactly how all this made me feel and more importantly how his comments made me feel. Which I did to a certain degree yesterday but with a more accusatory tone which only caused him to shut down and change the subject. (See...I'm still learning šŸ™‚

Anyway, by the time we got off the phone, I was feeling much better and feel more like we are on the same page as opposed to the "me against them" feeling I had when I originally posted.

Having said that....this is still an on-going, seemingly neverending, situation so I am still open for any suggestions, support, etc .

Thanks for listening šŸ™‚

February 9, 2009
2:41 pm
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lollipop3
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Hi SD and thank you for your response. It appears we were posting at the same time ;o)

You asked: "Can't FF get something in writing that would be perpetual rather than having to deal with this every year? "

And the answer is.....yes, if she were not the douchbag that she is. Apparently as the custodial parent...she has the right to the tax break but gives it to FF as a "favor". Again, she doesn't work, nor pay taxes so there would no real benefit to her anyway. BUT.....because she is the way she is....she refuses to make this a permanent arrangement and therefore requires him to ask her every year. Which he has done every year.

In his opinion, he believes that she is going to refuse this year and further believes that she is acting the way she is so we will react therefore giving her the excuse she needs to refuse to sign the paper.

I guess we'll see.

Even if she does sign it...he and I both believe this is going to be the last year that it is going to be an issue. The reason being is that she is also on his medical coverage (as mandated by the divorce decree), but only until he remarries, which we are hoping to do at some point. And she has already made it very clear to him that he "better not".

As for me moving in......yes, I already did. I gave up my apartment on 2/1. And to tell you the truth...I believe that was the catalyst that set this idiot off.

February 10, 2009
12:25 am
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elizabeth anne
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As long as she has the control to manipulate him she will. Like a dangling carrot she knows he needs the tax break. On her conditions, she may feel entitled to her actions

If she refuses, then it is done and she has no power. As much as he needs the money... and perhaps he is dependent on that money, he has put himself in the situation on counting on that money...

If there is any way he can somehow supplement that money... Perhaps it is time for him to take control and break away from her... Seems she is only doing this to still be involved.

If this is the last year she signs it over... Then let it be done and know it will be the last time.

February 10, 2009
12:29 am
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Hi Lolli!

I'm not a tax expert, but if FF pays child support and/or alimony he should just be able to claim it on HIS taxes. Not sure what it is she's supposed to sign. I used to get child support AND get the deduction, and neither one of us signed anything. It was actually the other way around for me. I had asked HIM if I could deduct the kids since he paid child support. But nobody had to sign anything.

From your post, it sounds like you've calmed down now after talking it out with FF. I think his son is old enough to know YOU are not the bad guy. And if he's been visiting you and FF together, then you know it's just HER bullying you and FF. Once again, she's using the son as a weapon.

Unless FF gets custody of his son, he is always going to feel responsible to the son's mother in some way, shape or form. I'm sure he's very concerned about his son's feelings. And I'm pretty sure she's gotten his son involved in matters that he has no business being involved in. I see it everyday in the relationship I'm in.

Hmmm, now as far as you feeling like he has to choose you or money. I don't quite understand that. He doesn't have any control over what she says. And if he did tell her off, then she would have the satisfaction of knowing that she pissed both of you off and she'd get the reaction that she wanted. Whereas if you don't "engage", then she has nothing.

It's funny because lnf's x told him that *I* was using HIM as a "boy toy". LOL

She sounds scared shitless. You moving in with him did set her off. Now she knows it's serious, and there will come a day where she's going to have to be responsible for herself. Maybe FF should warn her that she better start thinking about getting a job.....with benefits. HA Anyway, all of that is just my big fat opinion.

Well, other then that Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play? So how do you feel now that you're all moved it?

Peace.

Hep

February 10, 2009
8:56 am
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lollipop3
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"Well, other then that Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?"

ROFL.....

Thanks ((Hep)), I needed that!
(((Elizabeth anne)))

Hep, you said: "I'm not a tax expert, but if FF pays child support and/or alimony he should just be able to claim it on HIS taxes"

I'm not sure about other states but here in my state....whoever has the child living with them more than 50% of the time gets to take the deduction unless otherwise stated by the court. She could have made it official through the courts to allow FF to take the deduction, especially considering it can't benefit her (other than being head of household) because she doesn't work or pay taxes. But being the obnoxious control freak that she is....she was unwilling to give up that power so instead he has to ask her for it. Every year.

And Elizabeth is right.....he is in a position where he NEEDS that money. I'm not sure if he always did but being out of work injured and losing his overtime has certainly hurt him financially. But hopefully this will be the last year it is an issue because as you mentioned....she is not going to be very happy when she finds out she needs to get a J..O...B. Either that or her boyfriend is going to have to get his own insurance and put her on it (currently he is on HIS ex-wife's insurance as well which I understand is why he and FF's ex-idiot never got married).

As to the rest of it.....

I do feel better (for now) after my conversation with FF. He may not always handle these things the way *I* think he should but I know that he loves me and I believe he is doing the best he can with this. I also believe that his children are his first priority and he is trying to handle all of this with the least amount of damage done to the kids. As much as I'd like to sometimes....I really can't fault the man for that I suppose :o)

And you are right...his son is old enough to know better and the truth of the matter is that her little stunt backfired on her. Immediately after FF got the text calling me his "girl toy" and saying I "hated children", his son sent him one saying...."that was Mommy that wrote that, not me. Don't listen to her".
And later on when FF texted him asking him if he was ok...his son replied..."yes, just pissed off at Mom...she's just being a nosey bitch".

So there ya have it. In her attempts to hurt FF....she got her 11 year old child to call her a nosey bitch.

Good job ya fucking douchebag.

I have to tell you...I cannot WAIT until the day that we tell her that she is off his medical. And she's going to be in for another shocker as well.
Even before her petty little text he and I had a conversation where he told me he is changing all of his legal papers to make me executor if anything should happen to him. THAT ought to go over like a lead balloon. lol

The sooner the better baby....the soooner the better. That's all I have to say about that.

And finally....the move went well. Everything I own in now at his (our) house.

The last day we went to my apartment to clean and leave my keys....I cried. Quite it bit in fact. FF didn't know what to make of it (poor thing) but for his part he just held my hand in silence the whole way home. And when we got there, he kissed me on my forehead and told me he loved me and said "welcome home".

I haven't cried since so I guess that's a good sign? lol

And now let the remodeling begin!

February 10, 2009
8:58 am
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Oh and I apologize for the repeated use of the word douchbag but it seems as though that is the only word that comes to mind when I think of those two women.

Sor-rey.

February 10, 2009
9:00 am
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And one more thing......

I don't get the whole "little girlfriend", "little girl toy" comments either?

I mean it's not like he picked me up at the local highschool or something.

Just because I'm not a fat, nasty, loud, obnoxious idiot doesn't make me "young".

It just makes me better looking. lol

I'm just sayin'......

February 10, 2009
9:18 am
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Lolli,

I am assuming FF is having his ex sign form 8332 (Release of Claim to Exempton for Child of Divorced Parents). Part I is for the current year. Part II is for current and future years. If he can get her to agree to do more than one year at a time, she can fill out part II.

If she is entitled to the exemption in the divorce agreement, She is doing him a favor by giving him the exemption in any year (s). The exemption and credit is probably worth around $1,875 (if he is claiming a child under age 16 and he qualifies for the child tax credit).

If he is entitled to the exemption according to the divorce agreement, he should ask her to complete Part II for all future years (then he doesn't need to deal with her every year). If she doesn't agree, have the request sent through an attorney.

Frayed

February 10, 2009
9:57 am
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Hi Frayed....thank you for your informed response.

I'm not sure what the actual form is but I am assuming you are correct. My understanding is that she is entitled to the exemption but does him the favor by letting him have it. It is also my understanding that he has asked her in previous years to sign off permanently but she has refused even though she has in fact, given it to him every year since they have divorced (9 years ago).

Unfortunately, she is just an overbearing, obnoxious, control freak that does not know the meaning of the word BOUNDARIES and does whatever she can to stay involved in his life as much as she can.

Personally, even though it has been 9 years since they divorced, and she has a boyfriend, and she has another child with that boyfriend, I don't think she has yet to accept that FF left her and they are divorced. And the tax exemption issue is just one more way for her to stay involved with him.

And for his part....up until we started dating....he has allowed this to happen.

From what I understand, this is the first time that he has set any kind of real boundaries with her and she's apparently not taking it very well.

February 10, 2009
10:24 am
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Lolli,

I'm sure FF's ex enjoys holding that exemption over his head. She knows that he wants/needs the exemption/money. I can think of two ways to change that scenario.

One is for him to live his financial life without expecting the exemption. If he gets it.... it's an added bonus. If not.... all will be ok also. He needs to play down the importance of the exemption. And, she won't be able to beat him over the head with it every year.

The other possibility is to buy it from her. Offer to give her $300 for three years worth of exemption.... or, something along that line. He would be money ahead.. She would be money ahead.. And, he wouldn't need to deal with her for the next two years.

Regardless of all that is going on, Lolli.. These exes can only get under your skin if you let them. Don't give their comments any power over you.. When you react (and especially over react), they are getting what they want from you.. Don't give it to them..

Let FF deal with his exes. Try not to take the way he handles those dealings personally. You know he has no feelings for them.. He loves you... Help him to learn better how to deal with them.. But, try not to get emotionally involved in their chaos....

Frayed

February 10, 2009
10:44 am
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lollipop3
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Frayed!

What a wonderful and insightful post! Thank you for that.

"Try not to take the way he handles those dealings personally."

I do believe you've hit the nail on the head with that one.

I have acknowledged in the past and have had conversations about with him about it that it is not THEM that hurt or bother me but his response (or lack thereof) that has hurt me and made me feel disrespected the most.

Well, you've given me something to work on now haven't you?

As for the exemption issue, I like scenerio #1 above where he just lets the exemption go. Especially now that I know how much it is for. We hadn't discussed the exact amount that was at issue, I just assumed it was a lot more. Not that $1800 isn't alot or that it wouldn't help. But for me, it's not nearly enough that I would allow myself to be toyed with like that. Nor would I allow someone I love to be treated badly for such an insignificant amount. Personally, I'd tell her to shove it up her a** and be done with it. Of course, it wouldn't be the first time I'd bitten off my nose to spite my face either. lol But ya know what....I'm ok with it. I've had no regrets around putting my pride and self-respect first. Not yet anyway.

But back to your point. I am who I am and he is who he is. And his passivity is not a personal attack on me or intentional disrespect. In fact, it's one of the qualities that made me fall in love with him in the first place.

Ok, I've got some work to do.

Jeez, this recovery, growing, maturing business never ends does it?

Thanks again Frayed šŸ˜‰

February 10, 2009
1:23 pm
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Shaney
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He can let go of the exemption, now that he has YOU and your income! $1800 isn't worth the torture, really. It seems that he's so used to fighting for everything with the ex-dingdong, that he forgets to slow down long enough to figure out whether the fight is really worth it or not. I'd pay $1800 out of my own pocket to NOT have to deal with the ex where taxes are concerned. I mean, what's your sanity and peace worth? I hate her.

February 10, 2009
2:16 pm
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MsGuided
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Shaney makes a good point. Whats 1800 spread over 12 months anyway>? Cut out a few coffees a week.

((lolli))

Keep it in perspective and trust him.The x's act and are crazy. Doing this sort of thing with the kids around, using them as leverage, after being apart from their father for so long?

They want to divide and conquer, force a wedge between you. You're the one with the power and they chip away at that.

Total leaches they are. They didn't fool him for long but now he has to support their sorry asses? He really got duped but whats important is now and the future.

Maybe when they do the next crazy thing, instead of doubting him, do something romantic and sweet instead. Do the opposite of what "they" want, and it will only solidify your realtionship.

He also suffers from all the stress so be a team. Switch the negative crap they throw your way into a positive.

You gotta be the bigger person 'cause you are....let it roll off and not settle inside.

(My vindictive/reactive side says call Childrens Aide on them and FF takes custody, but then there's a LOOOng process, more drama and you're an instant MOM...and that's a whole otha can O' worms!...OK Botch that idea! ;0) )

Valentines Day is here soon!LOL

February 10, 2009
2:21 pm
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((((Shaneylicious))))),

"I hate her"

LOL. You do always know how to make me laugh. Even though we've never met....I just know you say that exactly the same way I do.

And it's so funny that you say ". I'd pay $1800 out of my own pocket to NOT have to deal with the ex where taxes are concerned."

Because I have done exactly that already with both of these idiots. For instance...two weeks ago we had a big snow storm here and FF's daughter didn't bring her winter boots with her to his house so FF wanted to call Wingnut to ask if we could come by to get her boots. I told him at the time...."don't bother even calling her. Why don't we just go buy her boots". He went on to explain that he pays $1600 a month for child support (for both kids) and he shouldn't have to buy her additional boots. So he called her. Her response....."you can buy her boots".

Of course she did. Just like I knew she would. He just cannot seem to get through his skull that these woman are not going to be civilized. They do not have their childrens best interest at heart. The only thing they are interested in is playing games and creating drama. And they have now teamed up (whereas they used to be 'enemies') and feed off of each other.

The point to all of this was that for my own peace of mind, *I* went and bought his daughter a pair of boots.

I mean there are plenty of battles to pick with these two but engaging in nonsense over a pair of boots is not one of them.

Same thing with a ring tone the son wanted. He asked his mother...she told to ask his father and his girl toy. O-kay. So I bought the ring tone. Kinda just to go up his mother's ass really but the point being...why should the kid be stuck in the middle over a $5 friggen ring tone.

The only problem with me buying me peace of mind however is something my sister pointed out.....

Be careful because it won't take long for both the ex-douchebags AND the kids to figure out that if they say no.....I will say yes.

Good point I thought.

God, I do hate them.

February 10, 2009
2:35 pm
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Hi MsG....good to see you. Thanks for stopping by.

I know you're right and for the most part, I don't let them bother me. I find what bothers me more, most often, is the response or lack thereof by FF that upsets me more than they do. But I will continue to work on that.

Having said that...I really couldn't care less what that beast of an ex-wife calls me or thinks of me. If you saw her (or heaven forbid ever had to listen to her!) you would know...just as I do...that her behavior comes from nothing more than jealously on her part. She is a loud, obnoxious, overweight, less than attractive beast, that acts (and dresses) completely inappropriately for her age (and size). And on top of it all....she's not particularly bright. Kinda stupid in fact. My point being....her words don't bother me.

What did bother me greatly was that she said what she said in front of her son. And what concerns me about that is that by doing so she is teaching him that it is okay to talk to me and/or about me that way. Of course FF wants to believe (as do I) that his son knows better and to his credit, he did end his texting with his son that night by telling him that his mother was acting very inappropriately and how unfair she was being by putting him in the middle and that he was sorry and loved him (which I supported and believed was the right thing to do). But who knows what will happen if/when the boy gets angry at me for some reason. Of course if he does ever come with something disrespectful like calling me his father's toy or something to that effect, I will certainly know who's to blame but it will still be hurtful none the less.

Anyway...I'm just rambling at this point and hopefully it won't ever come to that but it just makes me angry that she is willing to put her son in the middle and is trying to damage his relationship with his father and with me, and for what? I have never done ANYTHING to this woman. Or to the other one for that matter. NOTHING.

Sigh.....

Yup. I hate 'em all right.

February 10, 2009
2:54 pm
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Shaney
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I agree with your sister to a point, but you really do have to pick your battles. And in certain cases, you really really have to dissect the situation until you figure out the best solution for the kids, you and the FF.

Sometimes I have fought to the death for principle alone, and looked at what I really HAD at the end of all of it - and it wasn't much. The satisfaction of "winning" doesn't last very long, but the wounds you receive during the battle do. How's THAT for deep. ;o)

The saddest thing about all of this, is that kids are SO damn impressionable. It's going to be really hard for the exes to unwind the damage that they're doing to those poor kids. It seems that the more FF detaches from the exes, the more solace YOUR home will have. It would be great for the kids to know that sort of comfort, because they're obviously not experiencing that at their mom's home. Weirdos.

You'll figure it out, loll. Everything that those exes are spewing has nothing to do with WHO and WHAT you really are. You know that. It's nothing but frustration and envy on their part. Don't let yourself getting dragged into it - unless of course, you see a small opportunity to torture them - then by all means, get them. :o)

February 10, 2009
4:10 pm
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lollipop3
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" It seems that the more FF detaches from the exes, the more solace YOUR home will have. It would be great for the kids to know that sort of comfort, because they're obviously not experiencing that at their mom's home."

That is basically the stance that FF has taken about all of this all along. He has said repeatedly that the only thing he cares about as far as his ex's are concerned is his children and their well being and has always maintained the belief that as long as he and I have a loving, respectful relationship and give them love and stability when they are with us....that that will override their mother's dysfuncional behaviors.

I hope for their sake and for our's that he's right.

Also, to his credit...he put a lot of thought into the introducion of me with his children, the times, places, one on one's with each of them at different times, etc. and I believe it paid off. I know that those kids like me and they like being around me. And I think he deserves all the credit for that. I just hope that we will be able to maintain our positive relationship DESPITE the behavior of the ex's.

And as far as torturing them is concerned.....you know I will.

Like buying a ringtone for example. "Mom guess what Lolli got me......" "Mommy....Lolli bought me the nicest boots......"

Quietly. Subtly.

February 10, 2009
4:28 pm
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Shaney
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Subtle, covert, ego-deflating torture is the best kind.

BTW - what ever happened to the exex?

February 10, 2009
5:51 pm
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MsGuided
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Torture? ( subtle,covert,ego-deflating torture is the best kind)

Torture! MuahhahahahHA!

February 11, 2009
8:28 am
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lollipop3
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LOL...you gals are funny :o)

The ex-ex you ask?

He got a girlfriend and disappeared off the face of the earth.

He did the same thing years ago when he started dating that psychopath he was with. One minute we were friends...the next minute he won't return a phone call. Last time I called him I left a message asking if I could stop by his shop to pick up a (brand new) book I had lent him but he never returned my call.

I don't know you remember or not but this girlfriend happens to be the sister of his ex-wife that was 4 months pregnant with her husbands child when they started dating. My assumption was that the whole thing would explode into a ball of flames in short order, but last I heard (from my sister who ran into him).....he is happier than ever.

So there ya go. I'm happy for him really. I just wish he didn't act like my best friend then treat me like I have leprosy everytime he meets someone else. Know what I mean?

Funny thing though...remember he wanted me to rent a house with him? I now live less than a mile away from it (and the ex-ex).

Having said that....you'll never guess who I DID hear from last week. Yeh, you probably guessed it.....The Snowblower.

He sent me a text with photos of his truck all smashed up. Apparently he had been in a head on collision. Perhaps he had no one else to tell? Anyway, we sent a few texts back and forth and that was the end of it.

To be honest...I still hate what he did to our friendship. As much as I hate to admit it, it still hurts me and I miss him. Not my relationship with him but the friendship we had before the relationship. Why couldn't he have just left well enough alone?

Anyway...I'll get over it.

And how are things with you Miss Shaneylicious?

February 11, 2009
11:19 am
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Shaney
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That's lame about exex. Some people are like that. I know a LOT of girls who drop all of their friends as soon as they get a boyfriend, and then scrounge for friends when something goes wrong. At least he's happy. That's a good thing. I'm sure you two will always be friends even though he's being sort of a weenie right now.

I think that Snow will always miss your friendship as well. There's nothing wrong with that. I have the same relationship with my ex. It's been ten years since I've been with him, but he'll still contact me when something happens in his life. He's married now, and I haven't heard from him in a little while, but I know that I will at some point. We were together for a long time, and that need to share with someone that knows you inside and out, doesn't just go away. I imagine it's the same with you and Snow.

M has a really good friend that he loves dearly, but hasn't talked to in almost three years. She got pissed at him when she wasn't invited to the wedding. If you remember, we had family ONLY - 40 people total. We considered inviting friends, but it just turned into a big fat uncontrollable snowball - we couldn't invite this one and not that one, blah blah blah. It was just easier and more cost effective to keep it family only and explain that to our friends. Most understood, but holy SHIT, this friend did NOT. It was one of those situations where they always agreed that they would be in eachother's weddings, or if they were both single at 35 then they would marry each other. Well neither of those things happened, so she hasn't talked to M for 3 years. All of our other friends completely understood, but she flipped out. Both M and I think that there is more to it. I think she has always hoped we would break up and she could have him. That's my take for sure. I know he loves her, but not that way. I think she's always loved him "that" way. Anyway, she called the other day and left a message that enough time had passed and they should patch things up. Which is a good thing, I think. I know he misses her. But he hasn't called her back and is really freaked out about what may actually go down. I told him to prepare for the worst, most uncomfortable scenario imaginable because it may get hairy. I know they'll work it out. I don't even know why I told you all of this. lol. I guess it's because we all have those people that we'll always be friends with. Even if they disappear for a while.

I'm pretty good, lollipopscicle. Super busy working, actually. I've got a couple of extra jobs, plus my regular full time job has gotten really busy. I'm lucky in this economy, for sure, so I'm not complaining. There are a lot of people, who do what I do, struggling to find any work at all. I needed some help here at work a couple of months ago, and put an add on Craigs List. Within a couple of hours, I got 150 resumes. It was a big eye-opener. I almost feel guilty for having an abundance of work right now.

I also got a cleaning lady last month. It's the best thing I've ever done. It sure takes a huge load off.

Shaney died last month too. It was heart-wrenching and it took me a while until I was able to even mention it. She was 16 and led a good life, and so I have no regrets. So now we just have Sam - who would like a girlfriend, I'm sure, but I'm just not ready to get a new dog. My life revolved around Shaney for such a long time, that I need a break. So, maybe when we get our house?

We haven't even REALLY started looking yet (for a house) - and need to get on it, since our lease is up in May. Once I get this one big job that I'm doing, out of the way, then I'll focus on the house. Honestly, I'm not unhappy just continuing to rent for a while longer. Our landlords are decent people, but I know that they're either going to make us sign another lease or jack up our rent if we want to go month to month. I guess we'll figure it out. I'm just thankful we have a nice place to live - especially when people are losing their homes left and right around here. California is a great place to live, but not doing so well financially. Ah well, my dad always says, "The worlds going to hell in a handbasket, and those politicians have a hold of the handle."

Anyhooo - I'll talk atcha later. - M

February 11, 2009
12:01 pm
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Hepburn
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Hi Everyone.

(((Shaney))) I'm so sorry to hear about Shaney. I know you knew it was just a matter of time. Doesn't make it any easier I know. Maybe you didn't post it? If you did, I'm sorry if I missed it, since you knew how *I* felt when mine passed and you were so supportive.

I'm not ready for another dog yet either. I still miss him, and sometimes I still expect him to greet me when I get home. This is the first time that I can remember not having a dog in my house. Even since I was a kid.

(((Shaney & Family)))

Peace.

Hep

February 11, 2009
12:12 pm
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Shaney
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Thanks Hep :o)

I didn't post it, because I was hysterical for a while and didn't want to talk about it. The people at work still don't know, and it's been over a month. Thanks for your support though. I know you understand first hand. There are so many furs out there that need a home, but I'm just not ready either. I actually look on line all of the time, but I'm still hesitant. I'll find the right match when it's the right time :o). I've never been without a dog either! But Sam is getting all of my attention - and loving it, even though I know he misses Shaney. She bossed him around terribly, but he still liked her company :o).

(((hep)))

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