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lluvia-i think im calling cps...im beyond scared...PLEASE HELP
February 14, 2009
11:11 pm
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Lluvia
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im so scared. Like someone said im living in an unhealthy environment. I cant take it here i know its unhealthy for me to be here and i need help but i cant get that here. I know in les than 2 years id be kicked out and resourceless...shunned by my family with nothing in my name but i seriously need help...im so scared...i dont know what will happen. What they will do first and whats gonna happen with me or anything at all...

February 14, 2009
11:17 pm
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Randomwomen2
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I dont know much about it sweetheart Ive never done the calling myself. I know when they were called on my parents they did an evaluation of both of them did drug and alcohol tests and sent me in for an evaluation too. You will have to tell them every thing that has gone on sweetheart dont leave anything out. I dont know much about your sittuation if you wouldnt mind I would like to know more

February 14, 2009
11:20 pm
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truthBtold
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Lluvia,

Take a slow, deep breath and call:

1-800-296-SAFE (the TX Advocacy link I talked about in split personality thread) and/or

1-800-656-HOPE (RAINN) now.

You don't have to be alone.

Call. Talk to someone.

It WILL HELP.

These folks are familiar with your situation and will be able to help!!!!!!!

You don't have to do this alone!!!!!!!!

February 14, 2009
11:55 pm
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Lluvia
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How would they be able to help?

February 14, 2009
11:57 pm
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Randomwomen2
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these people can let you know what your options are sweetheart and they can talk you through them

February 15, 2009
12:08 am
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Lluvia
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i cant talk over the phone to them. These walls are thin thats why i email and stuff. My family would hear everything. They dont know my older brother had molested me once too when now that i think about it he was high i think. He has a daughter and fiance of almost 3 years now. Im so frustrated my thoughts are whirling in my head like a hurricane

February 15, 2009
12:11 am
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Randomwomen2
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call from a friends house sweetheart or if they ever leave call

February 15, 2009
12:18 am
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Lluvia
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i dont know what to do...my school counsilers STILL havent contacted me. Its been over 2 months (december)...i cant do this alone youre right...but...gosh this is ALOT...

February 15, 2009
12:19 am
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Randomwomen2
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your school counselers should be fired

February 15, 2009
12:27 am
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Lluvia
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i agree. My teacher constantly emailed her saying contact me so one day i went to fix my schedule and she said she couldnt do anything at the moment (by this time it had been over a month) and she said it was cuz i told a teacher not her so she had to wait til 'higher' people get to me then her cuz she couldnt do anything cuz my teacher told her cuz thats like 'gossip' I WAS LIKE WTF THAT IS IGNORANT AND SHE IS SO IMCOMPETENT i was mad. Its been a long time and i know thats a bunch of bull. It was so hard to talk...and for what...

February 15, 2009
12:33 am
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Randomwomen2
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Ok thats not right at all weather there gossip or not its the schools responsibility to take any words of abuse seriously weather they came from a teacher or you. It is mandatory that they report it. I know cause I was in a class where highschoolers took care of preschoolers and I noticed some bruising on this wonderful little child who took a liking to me I asked him how did you get that and he told me that daddy did. I Told the teacher right away and by the next day that sweet child was out of that home. You need to call Cps yourself after or before school or maybe when the parents are at work? I am so sorry that the system has failed you

February 15, 2009
12:55 am
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Lluvia
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i will repost after i get some sleep...again if anyone knows about this or has any advice PLEASE help this 16 year old mess

February 15, 2009
12:58 am
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Randomwomen2
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((((((lluvia)))))) Good night sweetheart

February 15, 2009
12:59 am
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Lluvia
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i will repost after i get some sleep...again if anyone knows about this or has any advice PLEASE help this 16 year old mess

February 15, 2009
10:27 am
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chelonia mydas
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Lluvia,

There are resources out there for you. You can call from a store, library anywhere. Just ask to use their phone and call.

Some more resources you can use include

1800 788 SAFE
http://www.ndvh.org

I found a great resource online called Child Help

Here is their website http://www.childhelp.org/get_help

They have a section that tells you what happens when you call their hotline

I will cut and paste the information from their website

Get Help Now
Call the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD

The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

A lot of people don't realize it, but every day in the United States thousands of kids are abused and neglected. That adds up to millions of kids each year.

Often children and teens are abused or neglected by the people who are closest to them like family, friends, sitters, neighbors and sometimes even teachers and coaches. These are the very people that children should feel the safest with.

If you need help or have questions about child abuse or child neglect, call the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) then push 1 to talk to a counselor.

The Hotline counselors are there 365 days a year to help kids, and adults who are worried about kids they suspect are being abused or neglected. You can call this number if you live in the United States, Canada, Puerto Rico, Guam or the U.S. Virgin Islands.

The call is free and anonymous. (The Hotline counselors don't know who you are and you don't have to tell them.) There won't be a charge for the call on your telephone bill if you use a regular phone or a pay phone. If you use a mobile phone or cell phone, there may be a charge and it may show up on the telephone bill. Don't use a mobile or cell phone if you want to be sure your call is a secret.

What to Expect when Calling

When calling for information on reporting child abuse, a recorded message will tell you to press or say "1" to talk to a Hotline crisis counselor. This is the option to choose if you:

need help and want to talk to a counselor
have questions about child abuse or want to know where to go for information on reporting child abuse, to report suspected or known abuse in your community, or want a referral to an agency near you
The recording will give you two other options:

Press 2 if you want literature mailed to you. (Allow two weeks for delivery via the U.S. Postal Service.)

Press 3 if you want to make a donation to Childhelp

When you select option 1, a counselor will answer and say "Childhelp crisis counselor. How may I help you?" If the person calling speaks a language other than English, the Hotline counselor will setup a three-way call with a translator.

The counselor will:

listen to your concerns and needs
answer your questions
ask you questions to be sure he or she understands what you are saying
suggest things you can do to get help
provide referrals utilizing a database of thousands of emergency, social service and support resources located in the United States and Canada.
If you are a child or teen who is in danger, the Hotline counselor will help you contact someone such as Child Protective Services, or the police. If needed, the Hotline counselor will stay on the phone as part of a three-way call.

The Hotline counselor will not tape the telephone conversation or ask for your name (unless you ask to have literature mailed to you).

What the Hotline Can Do

The Hotline counselors can help you with your child's problem behaviors.
The Hotline counselor can help identify the situations that trigger your child's problem behavior, and then discuss what you have done in the past that has worked and not worked, and help you choose other ways of responding. They can also recommend parenting books, suggest ways to improve communication with children, and discuss how to discipline in a fair manner.
The Hotline counselors can help you understand what normal behavior is at different stages of your child's development. For example, babies sometimes cry for no reason, even after you have done all you can to comfort them. Two- and three-year-olds have tantrums. These things, while frustrating to deal with, don't mean you are a bad parent.
The Hotline counselors can provide non-judgmental emotional support.
When you are feeling isolated or overwhelmed, Childhelp's hotline counselors can provide a safe outlet for your stress and anger.
The Hotline counselors can refer you to local groups who may provide additional help.
The professional Hotline counselor utilizes a database of thousands of emergency, social service and support resources. Using your zip code, he or she can look up local parenting groups, agencies that provide counseling, domestic violence shelters, legal referrals, and the telephone number to report abuse in your area. The Hotline counselor can also suggest what to do next if you have already made an abuse report and the child is still in danger.
Our hotline counselors can listen to you. They won't blame you.
If you aren't ready to tell on someone but you want to talk about your feelings and what is happening to you, call the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453), then press 1 to talk to a hotline counselor. Your call is anonymous. (That means that the hotline counselors don't know who you are unless you tell them.) Sometimes it is easier to tell your problems to someone you don't know.
Lots of kids have mixed feelings about the person who is hurting them, especially if they loved and trusted that person. You may be afraid of the person who is hurting you, and are "scared silent."
The Childhelp hotline counselors can explain different things that you can do. They can also tell you what might happen as a result of each one.
Our hotline counselors can answer your questions. For example, if you think a friend is being abused but you aren't sure and you are nervous about saying anything to him or her, there are some signs you can look for that can be clues. Hotline counselors can also help you figure out what to say to your friend if you think he or she has a problem.
Our hotline counselors can help you make a child abuse report.
When you call, the hotline counselor may ask you if you want to report the abuse to the people who can check into what is happening. They can give you the phone number for the reporting agency—usually child protective services—in your community. Our counselors can also stay on the phone line and make a 3-way call if you are nervous about doing it alone.
The hotline counselor can tell you where you can get more help—right where you live.
If you need additional, ongoing help, our hotline counselors can give you phone numbers of groups near you that can help. All they need is your zip code to look up the organizations on the computer.

What Childhelp Can't Do

Childhelp can't come to the home where the abuse is happening and take away the child or teen who is in danger of being hurt and put them in a new home.

Law enforcement agencies (the police or sheriff's departments) and child protective services are the ones who decide what will happen when there is child abuse. If a child is in immediate danger, however, our hotline counselors can call the local police to go to the child's location if the hotline caller gives the address and the name of the child or teen who is being abused.

The Childhelp hotline counselors can't make the child abuse report for you.

Our hotline counselors can look up the local reporting telephone number and give it to you. They can also stay on the phone line and make a 3-way call if you are nervous about doing it alone.

The hotline counselors can't spend time on the phone giving you information for a school paper you are doing about child abuse.

There is helpful information about child abuse elsewhere on our Web site. Also, if you can wait a couple of weeks, you can call 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) and then push 2 to ask that we mail information to you. (The number 2 option does NOT connect you with a hotline counselor. You need to press 1 to reach a hotline counselor.)

February 15, 2009
10:59 am
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chelonia mydas
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(((Lluvia)))

I am so sorry that you are going through this. You are a wonderful precious person who deserves so much more than life has given you so far.

You are not alone, there are people who will help. It sounds like your counselor is burned out and needs to change careers. I had a few counselors and social workers like that myself when I was growing up. Keep trying, you will eventually get to someone who will help you.

I used to think of it like getting new clothes. If you go to the store and the first outfit you try on doesn't fit do you leave and say that you aren't suppose to have clothes or do try a different outfit until you find something that fits? I would say, ditch that school counselor and move on to another one that is more likely to help.

Since you are looking for information on what happens when a case is reported to CPS, I'll share my story.

My parents were reported to CPS while I was growing up (I think the first report was when I was in kindergarten or 1st grade). Because people reported it, I was given support and help that gave me the ability to survive the abuse, not just live through it.

The first few times it was reported, the social workers came over and interviewed everyone. Then we all had to go to counseling for a while. One of the times, someone came over to teach my parents how to clean the house. Sometimes our case workers would come over and sometimes they met me at school and we talked. I was always afraid to say anything because my parents would retaliate against my pets when I told them just a little bit. Finally when I told them everything, they were able to place us in foster care. I got a situation where I could still care for all my pets and they were OK.

At first I was scared and soooo angry. My poor foster family endured my rage and pain with patience and love. Eventually I came around. My foster mom was kind and understanding and consistant. She showed me what unconditional love is and became a wonderful role model, where I got to see what it meant to be a successful woman.

As someone in my 30s now, I look back and realize that going into foster care changed my life for the better. My foster family gave me a foundation to learn the emotional and social skills I needed to catch up to everyone else so I too could have an OK life. Without them, I would probably have continued the cycle of drug abuse, self harm and being an adult victim of abuse. Today I am working through issues, but overall I sometimes think I'm a successful person. I have a job that I love and a life that is worth living.

I'm still in contact with my foster mom- she probably cares about me more than my real mom. In fact my foster mom and foster sister were the only one's in my family who came to my college graduation along with my husband and his family.

Lluvia dear Lluvia, please take care of yourself. Please reach out to those that can help you. You are important, you do matter, you are worthy of being cared for. You have the strength, courage and ability to get the support you need.

Please keep posting, we care about you.

February 15, 2009
12:33 pm
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Lluvia
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thank you for sharing your story. My family doesnt know everything and i dont know how they will react. I opened up to 2 friends about the cps thing. One said im over reacting. The other freaked out and began crying i love you i need you please dont go. Im not sure if cps would take me away. Ive tried calling hotlines but nothing came out. I cant talk with a stranger over the phone id rather it be in person. Now i dont know what to do...

February 15, 2009
2:53 pm
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chelonia mydas
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Dear Precious Lluvia,

If you want face to face interaction, you can do an online search or call a hotline and get connected to an agency in your town that helps with domestic violence/child abuse and neglect.

Since you already aren't too keen on the hotline idea... do an online search. Most communities have resources and all communities are near a community with resources in the US and many other developed countries. Do you live in the US?

We even have domestic violence resources where I live in Mexico.

Please seek help. You are worth it. I don't think you are over reacting and your friend who told you not to tell becuase she doesn't want to loose you has no idea of the pain of being neglected/abused. If she did she would support you seeking help.

When I went into fostercare I was allowed to keep my friends. So it might not be where she woudl loose you anyway.

Hugs and support during this difficult time.

February 15, 2009
3:45 pm
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wifemother
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lluvia, im so sorry you are having to go threw this mess. Lots of hugs for you...Stay safe.

February 15, 2009
7:43 pm
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Lluvia
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yes i live in the us TEXAS born and raised. My friend was a guy and apparantly he 'loves' me. Its difficult to do an online search only because im not on a computer im on the internet through my phone which is hard because i have to scroll alot to read threads. I will try somehow tomorrow. My teacher (the one who told my counsilers) was so furious she said tomorrow during class shed take me with her and confront the counsilers. But they lost my trust and due to certain things once i lose trust in someone its so hard to ever trust them again...thanks for being here for me. I dont feel so alone in this

February 15, 2009
7:50 pm
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Randomwomen2
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((((Lluvia)))) you are certainly not alone Please let us know when you can how everything has gone.

February 15, 2009
10:13 pm
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chelonia mydas
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Whoa Texas is a big state... if you are comfortable sharing your region/area (ie Panhandle, Hill country, West, East, South, The Valley, Davis Mountains, Houston area etc.) or county I'd be happy to help with the internet search.

For now I will see what I can find..

February 15, 2009
10:36 pm
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chelonia mydas
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The TX dept of family protective services has an ONLINE reporting system for non-life threatening abuse. Use 911 for life threatening abuse situations.

Here is the link https://www.txabusehotline.org/

They also have a hotline for teens/youth to call in 1800-98-YOUTH

Others to try...

Child Help USA 1800-4-A-CHILD

National Abuse Hotline 1800-799-SAFE

Texas Child Abuse Hotline 1800-252-5400

Texas Youth Hotline 1800-210-2278

February 16, 2009
1:32 am
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Lluvia
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yeah Texas is pretty big. I live in Tarrant County yup in the Dallas/Fort Worth Area im in Fort Worth. Tomorrow i will try to get on the computer so id be able to get the links above. Im screwed. My mom lately has been 'nice' i used to have a 'better' case. My mom used to not provide lunch money that my dad gave her for me or money for me, she used to not buy me clothes so i wore my old not fitted clothes and lately she began buying me clothes. Its like wtf! Now that im trying to find a good family she is acting nice. She has been like this because my older brother threatened to take me away because he saw the suffering i endured and doesnt want me to suffer. ever since then she began to seem nice. I know her. No one bothered to see my suffering cuz its covered up outside these walls. No ones going to believe me...theyre just gonna say im being a drama queen brat...im in tears...i dont know whats best...i just want to die i dont know what else to do it seems im emotional and theres no hope...

February 16, 2009
1:36 am
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Randomwomen2
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There is always hope sweetheart never give up.

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