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Living for me
September 4, 2007
1:57 am
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learningtolive
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September 24, 2010
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After god knows how many years nine maybe. I think I finally get it. Or maybe I should say am ready to do it.

I search through Naranons site and all I could find was people asking for help to find there loved ones help. I remember that searching on the interent just wanting to find a answer. Just wanting to make it better.

Now, today, I dont want to think about what hes doing or not doing. I want to think of me and take responality for my life. And admit that I have use him for a excuse not to live my life. To go thru to motions, to get wrapped up in the insanity so I dont have to face my life. To blam him for what my life is.

I actually see that I have knowen for a long time that I cant control his illness, and I stopped trying to along time ago to do that. But I have just started to see that it was still my excuse to just get by. Not to make my life what I want it to be.
I see that I have to take responabilty to make my life what I want. I truthfully dont think that I have ever done anything for myself. I dont mean buying a outfit or getting my hair done. (though that was hard enough_. I mean making a choice and following through on what I want my life to be. I just sat back and let it happen.

I just really needed to vent and get this out. And really focus on what I need and what I need only.
Thanks

September 4, 2007
2:10 am
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cpt1212
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September 27, 2010
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sounds like a breakthrough! congrats, i know that it is a powerful feeling. welcome to the site

September 4, 2007
2:19 am
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learningtolive
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September 24, 2010
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Thank you. Now the work begins...

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