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lifeistooshort
March 8, 2007
1:35 pm
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lifeistooshort
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September 27, 2010
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Hi All! I'm new to this and was inspired by some of your messages. I am in the process of filing for the second time for divorce. Although I always try to remember the good the bad just takes over. My stbex (maybe) has had alot of issues with internet and chat rooms & porn. I have two kids and even though we went through a couple of yrs of counseling I don't believe he has admitted to everything. I have been through _ell with his lies and anger and manipulation. I married very young and we met when I was 13 & he 21. So you can see the type of person he was then and somewhat still is. I married at 21 and only knew him. The whole divorce thing with the kids is so hard to imagine. He is a good provider and has become a good father but has no self esteem and no confidence and I feel like he is my 3rd child, the way he acts. he senses that I may be filing again and he is just over the top with being good and calling me all the time for stupid things. I haven't told him I love him in the last 4 months. He never communicated well in the 22 yrs I've known him. Any insite?

March 8, 2007
1:53 pm
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nappy
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September 29, 2010
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If only we can hear our self in what we are saying about our situation, life would be alot better. But we don't. My thing is that if things haven't change by now, what makes the situation that we are in is going to get any better.
Your husband already knows what he is doing. You said it yourself. When you start to file for divorce, he start to wake up, but when everything goes back to normal, he start acting like his old self again.
For one thing, don't make threat if you are not going to back it up. You have a choice here. Either you will accept him for who he is or you will change it on your own.
Sometimes we already knows when the time comes for us to give up and start all over again. But there is where we start hoping and wishing and praying that this person would be who we want them to be.

March 8, 2007
2:10 pm
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lifeistooshort
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September 27, 2010
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Nappy your right! If It was only easier to do it than to say it. I know in the end I'll be okay but for now when you have been with someone for most of your life you get so used to it. It becomes a comfort zone. I am in counseling which is helping me to realize that I have been an emotional supporter for a very long time since a child and I need to be happy. I have to think of myself and my future. We have become two different people. I became stronger and he hasn't. I used to be very naive, gullable, volunerable and not assertive. Through counseling I have become stronger! I am not afraid to speak how I feel.
Thanks!

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