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LIFE, WORK AND LOVE DECISIONS
January 22, 2001
2:19 pm
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dakota1
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HI

I NEW AT THIS SO HERE IS GOES. THE PAST 10 YEAR OF MY LIFE SEEM SO SAD TO ME WHEN I THINK BACK ON THEM. I'VE HAD RELATIONSHIPS
WITH MEN HAVE CHEATED ON ME AND I PICK MYSELF
UP AND MOVE ON TO THE NEXT LOSER. CURRENTLY I'M IN A RELATIONSHIP (OFF AND ON FOR 6 YEARS) WITH SOMEONE WHO WON'T COMMITE AND HAS ALL THE EXCUSES IN THE WORLD. I KNOW I SHOULD MOVE ON, BUT THAT IS WHERE I HAVE A PROBLEM. I FEEL ALONE AND LOST WITHOUT HIM.
I HAVE ALSO MOVED ATLEAST ONCE OR TWICE A YEAR DURING THE LAST 7 YEARS OF MY LIFE AND I'M NOT SURE WHERE MY MENTAL ROOTS ARE ANYMORE. EACH TIME I MOVE I BECOME MORE LOST
AND SAD. I KNOW SETTLING DOWN WITH THE RIGHT MAN WOULD NOT FIX EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE, BUT I'M GETTING OLDER (33) AND WANT TO HAVE KIDS SOMEDAY.

I WISH THAT I COULD BE STRONG AT MY PERSONAL LIFE AS I AM AT WORK. I'M A HARD WORKER AND
HONEST AND ALWAYS DO THE BEST I CAN. I GET MAY JOB OFFERS AND THATS WHERE I GET TEMPTED TO MOVE TO BETTER MY LIFE. I GUESS THE GRASS ISN'T ALWAYS GREENER. IT DOESN'T SEEM TO MATTER WHERE I WORK, MY LIFE ALWAYS SEEMS
LIKE ITS MISSING SOMETHING AND I'M TIRED OF CRYING AND KNOW I CAN DO BETTER WITH SOMEONE ELSE RELATIONSHIP WISE.

SOME MIGHT LAUGH AT MY PROBLEMS AND SAY HOW
EASY.
I WISH I COULD SLEEP A NIGHT AND STOP THINKING OVER AND OVER. I KNOW SOMETIMES MY
THOUGHTS JUMP AROUND SO I HOPE SOMEONE CAN UNDESTAND THIS MESSAGE.

PLEASE HELP

January 22, 2001
2:32 pm
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Ima
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Dakota,

Never undervalue your pain. Sure other people hurt, other people have problems, too, but pain is pain, and if it is there you want relief.

Have you read, "Codependent no more"? Might help with all those messed up relationships. You are worth the time and effort it may take to sort all this out. You are valuable and precious because you are you. You say you are a hard worker, and I'm glad, cause it may take some hard work! In the meantime, don't get sucked into another bad relationship!! What about your friends? Do you have healthy friendships?

I hate it when my mind won't sit still, and when I can't sleep. I hope that you can rest and quiet your thoughts. You can do that, too, with practice (deep breathing, meditation, etc.) Sweet dreams!

January 22, 2001
4:32 pm
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gingerleigh
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Hi Dakota, I'm so sorry that you cannot sleep. Things never seem nearly as bad when you have 8 hours of sleep under your belt and feel physically better.

I, like you, moved around a lot. In the last three years, I have lived in California, Colorado, Minnesota, Texas and Washington. I've even lived in multiple places in those states. And I was always in a "serious" relationship that wasn't doing it for me. I was unhappy and couldn't figure out why. I still am unhappy, but I understand why now. I don't know who I am, and I don't know where my limits are, or what I want out of life. So I am now recently single, and plan to stay that way. I am moving again, into a place of my own, and plan to NOT date for a while, and just be.

Have you spent much time single? Or have you been a "serial monogamist"? Give yourself some time to know yourself and understand yourself, and the rest will come.

What else are you feeling?

January 22, 2001
7:32 pm
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dakota1
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September 30, 2010
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Thanks for listening!!

To answer your question on how long I've been single this time is about
6 months before I decided to call my
ex-boyfriend again. I get really sad
around the holidays when I'm alone and I think that's why I called him again. I always think that thing will be better this time, but WRONG again.

How did you survive all your moving around?? Do you have family around you?

My family is about 2 hours away and
that's fine with me. I love them all but when I'm to close to them I feel that I have to help with all there problems. To make everyone happy!
That's a BIG problem I wish I could
stop.

What did you finally do to help yourself be happy again?

I wish I could read a book and follow
the instructions on life.

January 22, 2001
7:34 pm
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Molly
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Ever heard that old saying Where ever you go there you are? It took me time to figure it out, and I firmly recommend time to your self, no relationships for a while. Unfortunate but true, when we are healthy we attract healthier people into our life. As a woman, when we are alone, we learn who we are, and what we want, we become slightly more "selfish" so that it is easier to draw our boundry lines, so that the first sign of a jerk, or jerk like behavior, we just say no and go on with pleasing our selves, until Mr. Good enough for me comes around vs. just good enough. Good luck on your quest. Welcome to freedom

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