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Life = meaningless
January 9, 2001
1:54 am
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cda
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This is how I feel. And I know you all say I should do this or that but what If i have tried everything and still I am sick of it all?

January 9, 2001
2:03 am
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lost soul
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At some point of time, I felt that too. But belief me, when that emotional moment is over. Life is back to normal again.

Take care!

January 9, 2001
2:55 am
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cda
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Oh it's not a moment.. it's a state of being. I have felt this way For a long time...

January 9, 2001
11:42 am
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Cici
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How do you know you've tried everything? In my experience, when someone says this they've tried nothing at all.

No one is entitled to be happy all the time. You make yourself happy. Enlightenment doesn't just come to you. Understanding eludes those who make no effort to understand, who think that understanding should just flow to them like water.

If life is meaningless, why do so many find meaning for themselves? Why did Mother Teresa devote her life to caring for the homeless, the diseased and the poor if there was no meaning to it? Why did Ghandi devote his life to freeing India from the rule of English law if there was no meaning? Why did Martin Luther King Jr. die defneding the basic civil liberties that eveyone should have, if there is no meaning?

Don't shrug this off. You explain to me why life is meaningless and I promise you that I will listen to your argument and if it is valid, I will believe you.

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but the idea of this just boggels my mind. Have you ever volunteered for a charitable insitution? Helped others who are less fortunate? I mean, that's what helped me to understand.

January 9, 2001
12:24 pm
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lazydazy
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When life is starting to feel meaningless you need to go out there and do something. Do something positive to overcome the negative. Cici is right, go out there and start doing good deeds for people, volunteer, bring a smile to a little kids heart and then in turn you will find out so much about yourself. You will find out what great things you are capable of and how life is so meaningful. Maybe I need to take my own advice cause I know these were the times when I felt at my best...

January 9, 2001
4:04 pm
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eve
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Well, life is meaningless, so what?
This reminds me of what my father used to say when we were kids and showed him something saying "this doesn't work". He used to reply: "look at it, this is just a thing of course it can't work - it's not alive. It's you who has to do the work".
Sometimes I liked this a lot, and sometimes it made me utterly furious.

My suggestion for you is kinda like that: of course life won't go throwing meaning at you. You have to go out and get it. Sometimes this is pretty hard work, and sometimes it's just a matter of taking a closer look at things. Good hunting and take care 🙂

January 9, 2001
4:34 pm
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Ima
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I know everything above is right, but...

That is how I spent most of my life, too. A 20 year chronic depression, that led to a suicide attempt, despite all my charitable work and efforts at inner work through counselling and reading and searching. Even despite "faith"

Have you seen a Psychiatrist? A counsellor? It's kinda hard to diagnose your state of mind through this BB. Maybe you do just need to "get outside yourself" Maybe you do just need to try harder. Or maybe you are exhausted from trying and can't bear the thought of trying any longer. Maybe you would benefit from some meds. They can relieve some of the weight you carry so that you can do the work you need to do.

I have been in counselling on and off for 20 years.
I have been in extensive therapy for 18 months, on meds for 1 year, and only THIS WEEK have I begun to FEEL and to be able to apply all the commom sense and advice I have accumulated.

DONT GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

January 9, 2001
5:32 pm
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janes
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I agree with all of the above as well. Life's meaning does not come from without it comes from within...

BUT remember there are problems that ned outside intervention s and SOMETIMES medications and even they need to be done with therapy and so forth.

Keep seeking

j-

January 9, 2001
5:45 pm
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Molly
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What did Erma Bombeck say, If life is a bowl of cherries what am I doing in the pits. Gosh, we all go through periods of being stuck, some times it lasts longer than other times.
Get out there and do something to make you feel again, go for a walk, go visit the babies in the hospital, go feel and experience life, shake something loose, get a dog. Mine has been my personal angel, he makes me crazy with all the attention he demands, all the love he always has to offer, he makes me get up and go for walks and see things that I wouldn't see if I was allowed to stay stuck, and right now he has triggered an emotion with the big hole he dug today. But he reminds me of why I am here sometimes, curled at my feet right now remembering how he scared me to death this morning when he jumped in the shower, ah life, he makes me laugh, and that feels good too.

January 10, 2001
2:50 pm
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c da
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I know it was kind of a vague thing to say.. That life simply has no meaning. But I was really upset at the time so I didnt bother explaining. It's just that i feel as If i go through everyday is a daze and I have to force myself to do things with really No motivation to do them or any Feeling of completion after doing them. I'm always tired and Never want to do anything with my friends because I have no energy . This has led me to miss alot of school and although I know I'm depressed and it's effected everything i do- noone in my family really understands. They just think i'm lazy. I have spoken to my doctor and after a few test She said I had chronic fatigue but there was nothing she could do. This just leaves me with no hope. I did speak to a psych. but My mom seems to think That if i continue to see one that this means she has done something wrong as a parent and It makes me feel guilty.

I know you guys say that Doing good deeds for other people and finding hapiness in my self Is what i should do to feel better but what If I have no way of doing these things because i live in a small city and really have no transportation even if i just want to go to the library. Anyway just wanted to explain a bit why I think this way... Obviously I'm still looking for meaning or I would have given up a long time ago.. I just don't really know what to do anymore.

January 10, 2001
3:06 pm
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gingerleigh
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I don't know how old you are... are you old enough to get a job, even part time? You live at home with no transportation. Getting transportation is one of the most liberating things you can do. Plus, having a job and making YOUR OWN MONEY is a huge boost, and provides you with some reason to get up. You can use the money to get a car. Or, you could just get a bike for transportation (it's a small town, right?)

Your mom needs to get over the "poor me I'm such a rotten mother" thing and let you get the help that you deserve. How did you feel about the psychologist? Did you feel like you were making some progress, was it helping you? If so, pursue it. Good luck!

January 11, 2001
5:10 pm
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cd a
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I'm 17 and still in school and I do have a job actually. The thing is.. I don't even feel like working alot of the time I'm so tired. As for traveling on a bike.. Well It's too windy and I could think of 20 other reasons to stay home instead of riding one ;-( It felt good talking to the psych. But Insurance problems Caused almost 2 months to go by already without me seeing another one. We got that problem fixed but my mom is still hesitant to take me. I still have hope for things to get better.. But i wish it would happen soon.

January 11, 2001
6:48 pm
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R2D2
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The thing about being depressed is hey, it's just so DEPRESSING. Ya know? Sounds like a joke, but think about it. When we feel like we want to pull the covers over our head and stay in bed for a while, it's a bad mood. When that feeling hangs around for longer than a while, it's full blown depression, and that's not a good thing. Because depression seems to feed itself with "nothing". The more you DONT do, the more you feed the feeling.

Having had a bout or two with it myself, I can easily muster back up the feeling of "what the heck am I doing here, why should I even try, just leave me alone.....if the world gets better, maybe then I'll feel better."

cd a, it just doesn't happen that way my dear. I hate to say this, cuz it's just not motivational enough, but, you have to make things better. It's not gonna just happen.

Are you dealing with some other down deep stresses or heartaches that you don't want to share? That's okay, but if you are, realize that stress, or schoolwork, or tough decisions, or even peer pressure can make life seem pretty heavy on your shoulders.

Have a best friend?? Can you get involved in anything at school that interests you? Planning a college life? If not, are you planning a place of your own after graduation?

I think another doctor may tell you that there IS something that can be done for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. That in itself can be absolutely debilitating.

Youth is on your side dear, please talk to mom about how you feel. Is she aware of how you continue to feel?

January 12, 2001
11:04 am
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Cici
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I recommend this book to anyone who is suffering from depression, either situational or clinical.

"Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl.

A Jewish psychologist who survived 4 years in Auschwitz, a Nazi internment camp, who lost his life's work, his wife and all of his friends. I think life's best lessons can be learned from those who have suffered before and still retain a positive outlook onlife.

Also, the elderly are a good source of learned coping mechanisms. Some highly successful, others not. But as studies have indicated, we are more able to cope the older we are. The more experience you have in life, the more you learn how to handle traumas and depression. It's really quite common sense.

But in our youth-oriented culture we often forget that the elderly are a valuable psychological resource. I would be lost without the guidance from my elderly (71 yrs.), terminally ill father (BTW - he's still holding on, for anyone who's interested. He can barely eat, only soups, oatmeal and ensure, but he's kicking!).

January 12, 2001
3:47 pm
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c d a
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Just wanted to thank all you kind people for your advice. I have spoken to people about this and the main message I get is Only I can make things better and Noone is going to make my world better for me but myself. It's a really hard thing to do but I keep telling myself that others have gotten over things much worse then I have. Sometimes I forget that And I think noone can possibly know or feel what i'm going through.

Cici I thank you so much for bringing up the point of elderly being so important in our lives. When i read about your father I thought Of my grandfather who passed away about 3 years ago. He had such a strong will and thinking of him makes me feel so much stronger. He always cared about others much more then himself..

He was also terminally Ill in the hospital and the doctors had pretty much given up on him but we hadn't. He could not eat and they had told us there was nothing they could do and he would pass away any day. Instead he proved them all wrong and He held on for another 2 1/2 weeks because he knew we all loved him so much and din't want to see him go. he knew we all loved him and I think it's what kept him alive.

Well sorry for straying off the topic a bit.. thank you all again 😉

January 12, 2001
4:10 pm
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January 17, 2001
4:40 pm
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pg lova
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CDA,

January 17, 2001
4:46 pm
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pg lova
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I'm sorry, I accidentally pressed enter.

Listen, what I was saying is that I know that right now, you can't see it, but it is going to be all right. I don't know if anyone has taken the time to introduce you to God, but allow me to be the first if not. God saw that the world was lost, people were even going through a lot as apparently you are. Therefore, God sent Jesus to us, He's the savior. He said in the bible "Come unto me all ye who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest." So I encourage you today, give it over to Jesus and just allow yourself to rest. See, it's Satan (the devil) who is doing this to you. Thus, we are presently in a spiritual warfare. The good news is, that the battle is not up to you to fight! The battle is the Lord's and because he fights on your behalf, everything will be all right. If you ever need to pray or talk, then e-mail me at [email protected]. Remember, Jesus loves you and so do I.

God Bless U and take care of yourself.

January 17, 2001
6:22 pm
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cda
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That's all good advice but i am not a very religious person. I do believe in god but Somehow it's hard for me to believe he can heal all my problems if I pray. I know this may be terrible for me to say according to some people but It's true. IF he loved us all so much then why do so many innocent suffer? I think the battle is entirely up to me because If i don't do anything about how i feel noone is going to step in and do it for me. They haven't yet and I don't see it happening anytime soon. Maybe god can give me the courage but even then It's hard to use that when you don't have any motivation to do things whatsoever. I'm alone in all this and i've accepted that.
sorry if i'm being really negative. Thanks again for responding.

January 17, 2001
8:01 pm
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Brenda
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create meaning, change your thinking.....what skills do u have? use them in service+ meaning

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