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Life Advice Please: Should I send this email?
November 10, 2001
3:25 pm
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artist 2
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September 27, 2010
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You have no right to say this about anyone - even my shitty friends. You talk to me with such indignancy about your friends and how I go about judging them, etc. It's plainly laughable. You need to decide if you're going to play by your own rules. And what makes you so sure she would be cowering in your wake anyway?

And further, you set me up to doubt you from the beginning. "I've had a history of lying to people." You "confessed" to me you screwed around on your wife, and your girlfriends. You had me believing that I was special and that you absolutely couldn't do that to me. Guess that's part of your charm. You have a way of making people feel special, lucky to be in your presence. But, the sad part is that it only goes so far, then you find yourself starting all over again. It's sad to put yourself throught it over and over. It's doubly sad for the unsuspecting. Will you keep on until you get so old that no one buys it anymore, and laughs in your face? You need to start working on a better way, because you're heading in that direction - but fast. And the sad thing is you don't yet understand about loving, or responsibility to another person. You'd be a fun father, but when it came to rearing a child, better give them to someone else, because you are incapable of seeing through someone else's eyes, or of feeling empathy for another human being.

No, I'm not your wife, thankfully. Anyone who's decided to be committed to their partner goes by a set of rules. This includes not giving your partner ANY - and I mean - ANY reason to doubt you. Things like evading questions and overly defensive actions -- ARE CAUSE FOR DOUBT. If you must learn anything from this relationship, I hope you will learn that IT WILL NEVER LAST unless you can show accountability to someone other than yourself. This means giving up certain freedoms. But, what price is that for lasting love, trust and comfort? So, you're tied a little here and there... but you know with the remaining freedom, you'll always have a strong bond to you someone. A bond to someone who can love you without FEAR, without question, and without doubt. I don't think you were fully committed to me, and tried to cover it up.

I don't invite myself to your home because I respect your solitude. When someone makes an effort to pick up the phone and invite me, it means they want my company. What is there to gain by making an assumption that you are ready at any moment to take me in? I chose to respect our time apart. I don't operate by obligation because it ties people down. For me, obligation in a love is to understand and act on accountability to my partner. I don't think you were accountable to me as your partner.

November 10, 2001
7:34 pm
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ms. T
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September 29, 2010
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In all honesty, if the person you're sending this to is anything like the psychopath my friend's been involved with, this e-mail will make him laugh inside, then try to tell you sad things like that he's been depressed to make you feel sorry for him. And if he's as good with words as this guy I know, you'll fall for it over and over again. Just cut your losses if you feel it can't work -- you can't change him and it doesn't sound like he has any desire to change himself. Why would he? Obviously, he doesn't care about connecting with another human being, so the loss of relationships for him is not punishment; he can move along to the next victim when he feels the need to do so. Until then, however, he will thrive on the idea that he is still plaguing your thoughts, so much so that you would send him such an e-mail full of emotion when you very well know he can't feel. Again, just cut your losses and cut contact. Move on.

November 10, 2001
8:53 pm
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artist 2
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Thanks!!! makes complete sense. Thanks.

November 11, 2001
10:08 am
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artist 2
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Blondie, thanks for your input.

November 11, 2001
12:50 pm
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Molly
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I agree with Mrs. T as well, just fuel to twist and turn to push your buttons again. So, hit delete.

November 11, 2001
3:27 pm
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janes
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September 24, 2010
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Yup add my ditto to the list...write as many emails to him like that as YOU need too...but don't send...

Just sit back and gloaat that he no longer has that control.

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