Mr.P,

I have never forgotten what you did to me. You were not supposed to come early when I was babysitting your children. You never have before, so why that night? Being drunk is no excuse. Did you also hurt the next babysitter? She drove herself into a barricade drunk a years later. Are you and I the reason why?

Did you plan what you were going to do me? I still can smell your stinking Budweiser breath. Why didn't you listen when I said stop and no? Why did you want to hurt me so physically? Did I do something to make you want to hurt me? I know you remember what you did to me. I HATE you for what you did to me. While you were hurting me, I was worried, not you about the kids waking up. I did not tell anyone what you did until a few years ago. I let this night affect my life in the most negative of ways. I have so many fears of being attacked. I have so many fears for my daughters; they were never allowed to babysit.

Did you even wonder what happened to me in your drunken stupor? I left through the window in fear of you striking again. It was the middle of the night and I was a young teen. I had no where to go, but knew I couldn't stay. I was just across the street a few houses down on the back patio of the vacant house. I needed to know your wife came home for the kids. There I sat til early a.m. I washed myself in a faucet there, freaking out at the bleeding you caused. I will never forget the loneliness and pain of that long, horrendous night.

Please don't ever hurt another girl again. Some people say that until I forgive you, I will not be free. I can't forgive you. I HATE YOU. You disgust me.