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LET GO OF A MAN BECAUSE OF THIS?
February 26, 2007
4:32 pm
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nappy
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Well I let go of someone who I thought could start off by being a good friend and a dating partner. At first he would ask me out on a date and we would go and have fun. But lately he always wants to do something, but he can't think of anything to do. Always leaving it up to me to choose what I want to do all the time. Ask him what he would like to do, he don't know. He acts like he can't ask me out on a date to a movie or dinner but he can ask me to have sex or asking me do I want to get passionate.

I'm like is this man for real. He can't ask me out to a movie or dinner, and plus he never knows what he want to do, or what he wants to eat, but can have the nerve to call and ask me about sex, saying that it is out of respect to me that he does that.

I told him that he better go play with himself because if he has any problems, then I don't want to deal with them. He called today to say that he was sorry but I told him that I only had one more sorry in the bag and that he used it all up and that I was done. Sex is when you feel for that person.

Is it something wrong with that type of person or is it with me.

February 26, 2007
4:48 pm
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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Nappy, Sounds like he is pushing his luck to start with too soon. Is he a man with no money? I would feel uncomfortable with someone wanting me to make the choices too. I truly don't think it is you...How long have you know him? Maybe a few of the others here can help you out more than me because I haven't been on a date in....I can't remember when..Your Pal, horsely

February 26, 2007
6:01 pm
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Loralei
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nappy, he sounds like a user to me. They never want to take you anywhere or do anything other than using you as an outlet for sex. I think there are some men who think that's all a woman is good for. Good for you for standing up for yourself! Make 'em treat you right!

February 26, 2007
6:13 pm
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truthBtold
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Nappy,

I agree with Loralei!!!!

In my opinion, this guy just looks to you as a "booty call."

Screw him!!!!

No - I do not think that it is YOU in the slightest.

You dumped this loser because you could see what his intentions always are about.....sex.

Kudos for you for not letting it go any further!!!

Learn from it and move on.

Next time, maybe hold off on the sex until you really know what makes someone tick. (I learned this the really hard way.)

The best advice I ever got about a relationship is to not so much listen to what they say.....but WATCH how they FUNCTION!!!!!!!!!

Will tell you all you need to know....in time.

I wouldn't give this loser another single thought. Just chalk it up to experience.

February 27, 2007
1:38 am
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doubleloss
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if the arrangement is "sex only" well, dunno what to say, but if it was a dating thing, good for you for getting rid of him. You've liberated yourself from making the most basic decisions all by yourself for who knows how long, from a time of sure boredom, not very far down the road passionless sex and another broken heart.

February 27, 2007
1:52 am
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hbdude2k
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Sorry to say, this guy was raised by his mother only, never had a man in his life to stand up for, so this guy is pussy whipped and never has any balls to say what he wants to do. This guy has very serious issues. He only feels accepted if he has sex. That is his feeling of feeling good. Otherwise, if he said he wanted to do this or that, and you said no, lets do this instead, that is rejection and he has a severe reaction to being rejected. All stems from being raised by a woman without any male figure in his life.....well all this is just my perspective...

February 27, 2007
2:10 am
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Worried_Dad
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Why is it the man's job to think of ways to entertain you?

February 27, 2007
4:23 am
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wannabe
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nappy hi,

do you like this guy?

If yes, tell him you are absatining! hahahha joke.
if yes, have a honest talk about how you feel and get a solution. probably he is simply damn and doesnt know many fun things to do, enlighten and educate him. maybe he is broke, maybe he doesnt know what you like thats why he asks your opinion.

if you dont like him, just let go of him.

my mama alwasy tells me "gal, if you want a perfect man, curve one out of that wood"

verdict: you will dump many men for imperfection. find the weaknesses you can handle and enjoy the relatinship. find one you can't put up with and run..

February 27, 2007
7:53 am
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Robert123
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Nappy, it sounds like you have more than a couple of concerns. Is this the direction you want your life to travel?

February 27, 2007
11:38 am
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nappy
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Well thank you all for responding. The reason for this thread was because since not being with my ex anymore, I'm thinking that I am either taking some of it into another relationship or is I'm seeing the same thing.

My friend really don't talk much, it is me that has to do all the talking, trying to keep up an conversation but the only time that I get to see him being exciting is when he can talk about being passionate with me.
There has been times that I would go over to his house and we wouldn't be saying anything. Just watching tv but as soon as I get tired of sitting and tell him that I had a good night and I am going home then he would ask if we were going to have sex. I'm like you don't say a word to me but as soon as I want to leave, you can open your mouth up to ask for sex.

If he ask me if we are going out that night, then I am the one that have to always pick out what we are going to do and where we are going to eat. I have tried by saying he pick one weekend and I pick the other weekend. Trying to give him a chance to pick something that he might like and I might try but he don't do that.

I realize that we can't talk to each other without it turning into something else because he's talking to me like I'm stupid or something.

He wants me to understand him but he don't want to understand me.

Then I started thinking, wait a minute. I'm going in the same direction that I was in with my ex. Then I started thinking, is this person codependent? I'm trying to work on myself so that I want go down that same road again. He is calling me, and getting mad at me because I don't want it anymore and he act like that he haven't done anything wrong.

And no Robert123, I don't want my life going like that again, I do deserve more then that.

February 27, 2007
11:49 am
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horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
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W.D. I see your point..I have asked men out on dates before but I choose what where we were going and had the money to pay..But if a man ask me out I would hope he knew where we were going and also had the money to pay...Equal Opportunity is my point..But if I ask a man to come over and have sex with me, that would not be considered a date..vice vesa....Thanks , horsefly

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