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Left the crazy bf
March 7, 2010
1:48 pm
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
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Stacers -

I, too, got dumped/betrayed by an alcoholic whom I stood by through NINE detoxes. NINE. And when he finally bottomed out and got sober, we went online, resumed seeing other women and basically devastated me. It was a tough learning experience, but a rehab counselor explained to me that this is what many alcoholics do, once sober.

So, instead of being "rewarded" with a grateful, loving man who appreciates you for standing by him on the long, hard road to sobriety, you find yourself high, dry and abandoned. I am so sorry this has happened to you, too.

Sever all contact with him. He is toxic. If you allow him back into your life during one of his "low's," he is just going to dump you again when he spirals back upward. This is not your fault. It's what they do.

Cheeky -

I heard someone share on these threads that "insanity is doing the same thing, over and over, and expecting different results." If he comes knocking at your door again, you have a choice: let him back in (hoping against hope that he has miraculously changed) or keep that door closed, rather than let him fail you...yet again.

Your choice.

- Ma Strong

March 14, 2010
12:26 am
New Member
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
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I am so going through the same thing...

I am on Day 1 of leaving my toxic bf... hmmm...I am feeling good about my decision, because I am alone in this hotel room, and feel content that I FINALLY did it... that it can only get better from here...

but it is really not THAT rosy in this hotel room. I tried to sleep, been up for 24 hours...but after awhile of hoping he was doing okay, I started crying... today he went through a couple of ups and downs on the texts... but I am really doing a good job of detaching myself (I THINK)...I just want to be his friend... but he has violent comments every now and then, and at that point I just cut it off and say, I don't want to talk to him anymore and hang up. Tonight he said that he hopes that we can be friends some day, and that he 'feels' better that we are apart. Maybe that is true... maybe that is him 'trying' to hurt me... oh well - don't care much right now... I said to him that I am happy that he is feeling better, and that I hope he gets the help he needs to fulfill everything he has wanted in life. Of course, things could change.

But It is so helpful to hear everyone's stories... but I thought of a distressing thought tonight too - I thought fluttered through my mind about... my ex 'almost' getting better, clean and healthy...BUT THEN meeting a codependent, enabling girl that put him a downward spiral... and then I thought, wow...I wonder if that girl was ME 4 years ago... then I started crying and couldn't sleep... so much crying today.. but my eyes are so puffy and red and burning...can't cry anymore...

twisted twitch

March 15, 2010
7:49 am
New Member
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
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i've been seeing a counselor for a while. she has been helping me deal w/ issues and also helping me figure out what to do w/ my ex.

honestly, some days are better than others. the isolation i feel is ever present, regardless of my friends and family being around me. but i hope that if i go through this valley, one day, that lonely feeling will fade away and i will move forward and on from my ex.

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