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leave or stay?
September 14, 1999
1:21 pm
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tamtam
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September 27, 2010
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I have been living with this wonderful man for 2 years now. I have a daughter that is 7. She is not his. I have noticed recently that everytime we argue, I always feel the need to leave him. Always thinking to pack my daughter and I and leave. WHY?
He is a very anal person. I have known that for awhile. But we just finished building a beautiful 4200 square foot home and I am always reminded by him how luck I am. I wouldn't care if it was a 900 sq ft home! We just got in new wood flooring in the kitchen. My daughter spills something and he gets all upset. He doesn't ever yell, but acts like she can't be a child. He is never been around kids before and doesn't remember his childhood because he was a major drug addict when he was in his teens. When he went in for treatment he lost all memory of his childhood. Had to learn how to do things all over again. We plan on getting married next year and have kids. But I don't want to have my kids raised in a military like home. How do I handle this? How do I avoid always wanting to leave everytime there is a fight? Do I really love him if I am always wanting to leave? Do I really know what love is?? HELP!

September 15, 1999
6:39 am
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ruya
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September 30, 2010
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dear tamtam,
you've been with him only 2 years; you call him a wonderful man yourself. thoughts of leaving him are yours not his is it? talk over your fears with him before taking any decision. if he is really the disciplined sort, especially after his kind of history, there's a chance he wants a straight kind of life and be very serious about it. after hearing his side to the situation maybe you can decide. take care.
ruya.

September 15, 1999
9:10 am
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Molly
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September 30, 2010
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I have two daughters, and it is strange, their father was like that as well as the man I lived with for 12 years. I don't know if this is a control thing, they look at the expense and replacement, or if it is the mother father balance thing or if we moms are spoiling in an area that requires effort.
The wanting to leave is I think a fear based reaction, have you thought about discussing child rearing values together, parenting books.

September 15, 1999
1:03 pm
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Anonymous
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September 24, 2010
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yuch, sounds like a control freak to me. Material things will NEVER bring you happiness. IT doesnt sound like you are happy, if you have to ask "Do I really love him?" chances are you dont. If you have to ask "Do I know what love is?" chances are you dont..

September 15, 1999
4:19 pm
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Anonymous
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September 24, 2010
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Read the book by Sarah ban breathnach "something more" it will be wonderful for you. blessings

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