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Lanuage Of Letting Go - May 29th
May 29, 2007
9:25 am
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lettingo
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I love this book and thought I'd share Today's Reading:

Powerlessness and Unmanageability

Willpower is not the key to the way of life we are seeking. Surrender is.

"I have spent much of my life trying to make people be, do, or feel something they aren't, don't want to do, and choose not to feel. I have made them, and myself, crazy in that process," said one recovering woman.

I spent my childhood trying to make an alcoholic father who didn't love himself be a normal person who loved me. I then married an alcoholic and spent a decade trying to make him stop drinking.

I have spent years trying to make emotionally unavailable people be emotionally present for me. I have spent even more years trying to make family members, who are content feeling miserable, happy.

What I'm saying is this: I've spent much of my life desperately and vainly trying to do the impossible and feeling like a failure when I couldn't. It's been like planting corn and trying to make the seeds grow peas. Won't work!

By surrendering to powerlessness, I gain the presence of mind to stop wasting my time and energy trying to change and control that which I cannot change and control. It gives me permission to stop trying to do the impossible and focus on what is possible: being who I am, loving myself, feeling what I feel, and doing what I want to do with my life.

In recovery, we learn to stop fighting lions, simply because we cannot win. We also learn that the more we are focused on controlling and changing others, the more unmanageable our life becomes. The more we focus on living our own life, the more we have a life to live, and the more manageable our life will become.

Today, I will accept powerlessness where I have no power to change things, and I'll allow my life to become manageable.

May 29, 2007
9:51 am
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StronginHim77
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This is really good. I am going to encourage others on these threads to read this.

Thanks for taking the time to post it.

- Ma Strong

May 29, 2007
1:51 pm
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itsmynick
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😀

Thank you! 🙂

words to live by.. 🙂

May 29, 2007
1:55 pm
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atalose
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It is a very good book.

Thank you for sharing.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

May 29, 2007
2:48 pm
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Tumbleweed8
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Thankyou for posting that. I just posted about getting back to reading in this book again on my thread, then saw this. I was thinking of how it is only one page for each day and can be so helpful.

May 29, 2007
2:51 pm
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feelingfree
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Great post!

May 29, 2007
4:18 pm
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ralk
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This is my first post, but i found this song about a week ago.. I really don't even listen to country, but I would like to share it with you. I think it is very appropriate. It is by Raschal Flatts : Moving On.

I've dealt with my ghost and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame trapped in the past for too long

I'm moving on

I lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different, but theyre always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
Theyll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong

I'm moving on

I'm moving on and last I can see
Life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know theres no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyones life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind, that those days are gone

I've sold what I could and packed what I couldnt
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should, but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me some where down this road

I'm moving on

I'm moving on

I'm moving on

I'm moving oooooooooooooooooooooon

May 29, 2007
5:48 pm
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casper1981
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I am nor sure where to begin but one I do know is that sounds just like me all over again. I went to alanon years ago because I lived around alcoholic in-laws and there was alot of fighting going on with them all the time and it always ended up involving my husband then in turn got me involved. I am currently seperated from an alcoholic husband who was very emotionally and verbally abusive. I sometimes wished it would have been physical because then the bruise would heal and it would be over a little quicker. Not really but the verbal abuse and emtional abuse I feel is worsr in some ways. I donot know how to deal with it. I know everyone feels down and gets depressed but my husband seem to always see the negative in everything and everyone.100% of the time or so it seemed. I know I get down at times but he would then get me down and that only made things worse.I have always been optimistic,try to see the good in everything and everyone. Well here comes ms.fixit thinking again that I could change things with him and it never works.I have always been blamed for him losing his jobs,losing his vehicles,being broke,never having good credit,or even when we had our own place and were together his favorite saying" He does hot have sh**,let alone a pot to piss it or a window to throw it out of". Thought I could change how he felt and in by doing so beating myself up to no avail. His mother here a month or so ago said something to me and it clicked where the negative came from. He is his mother. She says he does not have anything. Nothing.It was because of me. He cannot be thankful that he woke up in a bed with a roof over his head. A home that he is payng for.People that love him.Not. He says did not ask to be brought into this world. So now the question is. How do you get past this and move on? I still have phone contact with him becasue of loans we have together and if I did not try to at least be somewhat optimistic with him then I would not get any money at all to help pay these loans off. He would totally ignore everything and I cannot pay it myself with the rent and bills I am paying myself. I am grateful and thankful for one thing. He is out and it is alot more peaceful with out him here but I still have issues to deal with myself. My self esteem and other things. I have no body to really talk to anymore. I talk to my mom every nite but it is not the same. I love my mom dearly but she does not need to hear me with the sister and brother of mine she is already dealing with. Totally different things. Please can you give me some advice or let me know what you think. Casper1981

May 30, 2007
6:15 am
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foolfoolfool
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God {of my own understanding) give me the serenity to ACCEPT the things i cannot change, courage to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I think we pass on the "courage" and the "wisdom" through these threads, & it gives us the strength to "find the serenity to accept".

I hope all who come here looking for answers find "something" to calm their minds & soothe their souls. It is an amazing thing to find people from countries far & wide struggling & recovering, sharing their deepest fears & hurts.

I thank each & every one of you from the bottom of my heart.

Sincerely

Foolfoolfool

May 30, 2007
8:22 am
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hopeful for change
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I would like to hear more from the book.

Sounds like I need it.

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