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Ladyace: me & hubby, boundaries
February 2, 2004
9:02 pm
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Hi all!

Update on me and hubby. I was away on business for the whole month of January. I had a lot of time to think about what I want out of our relationship, and I had hoped he had too. Unfortunately, he still seems to be waivering - should he stay or should he go? He missed me a bit while I was gone, but still has no feelings for me. (Mind you, this is the same person back in November that said he wanted out, that's it, it's over.) We had a counseling session today, I met with the therapist, and he also talked with her privately via phone. I told her I just want him to leave. I honestly don't think things will work out, and it's time for someone to make a move. When someone tells you they have no feelings for you anymore, it's time for them to go. He keeps trying to brainwash me by telling me I can't make it on my own in the house, so why don't I move out. She talked to him privately, and he did finally say that he will move out within 2-4 weeks (end of February) so at least we finally have a guideline. Therapist did say he is frightened to be out on his own, scared of hurting my feelings, and overall just doesn't know what he wants. She also agreed that he is not going through a mid life crisis, but rather he never grew up/matured in the first place. (interesting thought).

I thought I was doing so well with bounderies, then he laid a major guilt trip on me tonight. He said he feels like all the burden is being placed on him, why should he be punished when he didn't do anything wrong (oh please!). I tried to stand my ground and say that we have the deadline date, and yes they are some logistics to work out, but other than that I don't have anything to talk to you about. He called me an arrogant b***ch, and I walked away.
I think I should try to meet with a lawyer to see what my rights are too, in case this does head for divorce.
So how did I do? Therapist says I am being strong throughout all of this, and I am taking care of myself. Any other advice?

Thanks!
Ladyace

February 2, 2004
9:43 pm
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Zinnie
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I would be on the phone tomorrow with an attorney.

Right now, he is playing games, and don't be surprised if it doesn't turn ugly.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Love,

Zinnie

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