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Ladyace: latest on me and hubby
February 9, 2004
6:09 pm
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Hi everyone.

Zinnie, I took your advice and called the lawyer, since he trying to play games with me. She said it would cost $500 -1000 to divorce. Said I can file the papers if I want to, this is a no fault state so it doesn't matter who files. She could even just sign off on the settlement (divying up stuff)papers if we put them together.

Had another therapist session today - he won't even separate without his 50% because he thinks that if he leaves he won't get his fair share in the long run. Fine, we all agreed that this week we will go room by room and divy up shit, make a list, check off who gets what. If we have to, we would call a mediator to help settle things if we can't work this out amoung ourselves. He still agreed to move out. He tried to extend his deadline, but I pushed it - he has always been a procrastinator and would just put it off.

Therapist said there is so much tension/hostility between us that we can't even work on the marriage issues right now...this is why we need to separate and then (possibly) work on issues. I just can't wait for him to leave. I just have to be civil while he is here now, and then work out the logistics of moving his ass out.

Ahh..felt good to vent...
I hope I am doing the right thing, but I think this is the best route for both of us right now (and DEFINATELY better for me!)

Thanks again to everyone for their support. As always, comments, suggestions, and hugs always welcome.
Ladyace

February 9, 2004
7:18 pm
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gingerleigh
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You sound remarkably level headed about all of this. I know it's not easy. Hang in there.

February 9, 2004
7:29 pm
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Zinnie
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Hi Lady,

Good for you! I know this is hard, but see... now he has been whining and crying about this for how long? Now YOU ARE moving on it, and he is like "uh...." and perhaps too late? Sounds as if you are ready to move on.

Glad to hear you are O.K.

Keep me posted.

Love,

Zinnie

February 10, 2004
9:50 pm
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This is so sad...I am typing up a spreadsheet dividing up out our stuff. But I keep telling myself "even if I have to sleep on the floor, or use a card table for a table, at least I won't be screamed at". We assigned values to everything and I'm typing it up so we can make sure it's "fair". So sad, but yet it is progress.

Back to the spreadsheet...
ladyace

February 11, 2004
11:12 am
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gingerleigh
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This is the worst part. And you know what? If it gets too painful, take only those things that are truly precious to you and let him have the rest. Anything else can be replaced in the future, and the old things you bring with you will be full of memories. If you get too caught up in the matters of being "fair", just try instead to focus on being "free" and let him keep what he will.

I know it's hard, but you will be OK.

February 11, 2004
3:52 pm
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Zinnie
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Hi Lady,

This too will pass. I know it hurts though.

Thinking of you.

Z.

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