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Ladeska please help!
October 23, 2001
8:56 pm
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pg lova
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Ladeska,

You have lent me your advice in past posts and again I am inclined to ask for your guidance. I met this girl and we hit it off nicely and began to date. For a while things were good but there came a time when she wanted me to propose. But I feel as though we haven't known each other long enough so I said let's wait. She called me today and said "I'm not waiting forever, I'm ready to settle down, you know what I'm not coming by to see you, I won't even bother." That hurt and she's been saying things like that for a while now trying to coerce me into a proposal and I am just being driven further and further away. In fact, I am starting to hate her and I want this garbage out of my life! My only problem is that I am 21 and already going through my 3rd break up of what I thought was a serious relationship. Simply stated, I don't want anymore breaking up, but I want her garbage out of my life. I know this sounds crazy, but I'm trying to make some sense out of all of this.

October 23, 2001
9:34 pm
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Ladeska
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uess I am unclear as to what your question is. You know the answer,,,,don't you? You really don't need my help. So, like, you don't want her garbage in your life, so what's the problem? Lacking the courage to tell her what? C'mon, Dude - you can do better than this noise. Kick her to curb unless you like pushy broads in your life and are into pain. Guess her need to have babies is shaking your tree. You up for that? Didn't think so. Join the crowd when it comes to looking for "just the right one". You'll go through alot of frogs, count on it, or else settle for little miss do it now or forget me. Ugh. Makes me wince to think what you might settle for here because you don't want to have another breakup on your belt. Just do it. You don't need me to tell you. Need a kick in the pants? consider it done.

October 24, 2001
6:47 pm
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pg lova
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Ladeska,

THanks for that. For telling me like it is and believe me that did help. I did it today, I broke up with this crazy girl. But, the way I did it, I feel I took the coward's way out. I wrote her a letter and tacked it to her front door and left. When she gets home from work, she can take it and read it. I don't think I ever want to date again. All these breakups are a lot of emotional stress that I just don't need. What's next?

October 24, 2001
6:52 pm
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Ladeska
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That's okay, at least you did it.

I have to go right now, but will write tom. morn., or tonight if I get on the computer. But, what's next is more along the lines of "you finding you". You're looking too hard to find a girl to fulfill you, when in all reality - you have to be complete yourself - before you find a complimentary person to stand beside you....

Glad you did what you did. Saved yourself some heartache...

October 24, 2001
6:52 pm
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Ladeska
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That's okay, at least you did it.

I have to go right now, but will write tom. morn., or tonight if I get on the computer. But, what's next is more along the lines of "you finding you". You're looking too hard to find a girl to fulfill you, when in all reality - you have to be complete yourself - before you find a complimentary person to stand beside you....

Glad you did what you did. Saved yourself some heartache...

October 25, 2001
7:40 pm
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pg lova
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Hey,

Thanks for replying, there is just so much going on right now. I feel somewhat bad right now because I had to hurt her and I'm the one to always be pleasant and positive. But, I don't understand why I'm hurting because I don't love her. I feel terrible when leaving her has been the best thing I have done. She took it pretty hard which I knew she would. But in a case like this, her feelings were not really what I was concerned about. I am seeing a counselor and in my session today, he told me to tell him my relationship history and as he put it together. He found that many of my ex's have been psychopaths with low self-esteem, or very abusive in one form or another. It seems he says, that someone in the past has hurt me badly, and I am trying to recreate that person and change what happened. My question now is "Who is this person that I am trying to recreate?" and "Why?" How do I go about finding this information?

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