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ladeska, gras
May 23, 2001
1:25 pm
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Ladeska
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WOW!!! That was a nice hug!!! About cut off my air for a minute, but other than that - IT WAS GREAT!!! Thank you!!! Nice perfume, btw! (smile) You are just too darned cute! You go girlfriend!! Light it up and set if off! The only things I supposedly "know" is just my own path to get from square A to....hm,m,m...I think I'm hanging out around L,M,N,O,P or somewhere's there abouts!

May 23, 2001
10:09 pm
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salna
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September 24, 2010
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ladeska
I think it,s time you start telling me about yourself example how you started off on this website and are you a professional counsellor etc.

Guess that goes to show that i am almost out of own self centred self, and interested in the other. I think i am making progress.
Did you have to talk about what happened with your therapist? Who did you do it, Did You write or did you say in your therapist presences.

I am asking this questions because, I really believe if i were to write it privately that i might lose control and freak out. And at the same time if i were to talk to her about i die of embrassements, can you understand that. I am trying to convince myself that i should say it to you, maybe i will try this one time will tell.
Coming to think of it. Is it possible for us to set a time were we could converse. like on messenger buddy. That would be cool. [hope you understand what i am trying to say] [smile]

May 23, 2001
11:36 pm
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Ladeska
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Salna...write me at [email protected] I understand exactly what you are saying..(smile) It would be my priviledge and honor.

May 25, 2001
10:44 pm
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salna
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Hi Gras
How are you, is everything ok with you.
Have not heard from you in a long time.
What's Up

May 27, 2001
5:53 pm
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salna
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Hi ladeska
Can you send me a e-mail please.

May 28, 2001
1:06 pm
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salna
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Hi
Guess what I went to my sessions today. I spent a good 45 minutes in silences and struggling to say what i needed to say.
Eventually I did i, it was so painful, and embarrassing, But i did it anyway. One of the things that really had me going, is you Ladeska,
you made me believe that i can do it and i did, thank you.

I had an anxity attack on sunday, which landed in emergency room. I was so scared, throught i was having a heart attack or a stroke. I am so glad to be alive.

I haven't heard from you in a while what's going on.
Hope to hear from you soon.
salna

May 29, 2001
11:30 am
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Ladeska
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Salna...I'm here cutiepie. Just had alot of things on my plate this weekend. Friend had a car wreck, etc. At any rate, all is okay and I'm here now. WOW - that is really good to hear that you pulled through this session. I am in awe of you, I really am. It's like we have to go back and go "through" the fire storm of emotions because we "think" it will kill us - but by doing it - we get power over it because we realize - it's not going to kill us if we walk through it.

Traumas like that just stick out to us like this giant room of fire saying - you can't come in here - you'll die if you do! But, like all lies that get formed in our heads during times of great pain and trauma - we believe that to be true and we live with this horrible fear that rules us. Not until you do what you've done here - can you attempt to say - Um no.......this is MY life - thank you very much and I'M TAKING THE STEERING WHEEL NOW - IF - YOU DON'T MIND AND EVEN IF YOU DO - I'M DOING IT ANYWAYS!!! (smile)

I'm really sorry about what happened to you on Sunday. That's happened to me before when things would really hit me. Now I know it's just my body reacting to the shock of all that stuff tumbling out of me - like little earthquakes. And I also realize - WOW, if that was because of the door opening on Pandora's box - then can I even imagine what it's like for me on a daily basis to try and hold that door shut - with this much force behind it!!!

Letting it out and slowly absorbing the shock from it is sooo much better than - holding it hostage within us trying to use all our energies doing that. And we wonder.....why....we don't function well in every day life sometimes!! Well, that should be obvious - if we are holding this fire storm in the confines of one room in us or in a box locked up - guess what? You aren't going to have any energy left for you at all!!!

And the really funny thing is - this which is locked up - isn't powerful at all.......it's really rather whimpy and we are the ones with all the kick butt power here - even over what you are talking about. It's time to take your power back, Salna and you ARE doing it!!!

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