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KROIKA.....Are you around?
May 8, 2007
11:37 pm
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hi Mich

Thanks for your continued good wishes and interest in how I'm doing. I just finished working 4 shifts and now am off for 4. Yay! Am putting together some shelves to store my videos in a more compact way. Bit by bit, getting my place more organized and getting rid of stuff that no longers needs to be kept. A bit like the inner work :o)

I have a date with A tomorrow... wondering how that's going to go as we have both been bandying the "L" word about quite a bit in signing off recent emails. Do you know the Eagles song "Desperado"? I think that song describes my A pretty well. Maybe me too, if it comes to that...

I must admit I am a bit lost as to some of the oblique references you are making on your 'safe place' thread. I may have some time soon to try and re-read that whole thread and see if I can figure out what happened that has upset and angered you. Here's a hug for now (((Mich))) and I will keep sending you good energy -- with a large order of fries on the side :o)

love, kroiks

May 8, 2007
11:40 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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MJ

Kroika...it makes me SICK

May 8, 2007
11:47 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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kroika,

I am just trying to let it go. It was a low blow, and I know why it upset me, and why I am upset really isn't her fault. I just think that she didn't need to go there. Maybe I am wrong.

So, now I am sitting here reading about cervical cancer. YIKES...I need to stay away from there...I will scare the shit out myself before my appointment on Monday.

Mich

May 9, 2007
2:59 am
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Hi Mich

It's almost midnight here now... I finished my shelves, and I have to say, they look great! I am always so pleased when I plan, execute and complete a project like that. :o)

I am also exhausted.... don't feel I can do justice to trying to say anything about the matter raised on your other thread. I'm glad to see that you've been able to talk to bev about it a bit. (((Mich + Bev)))

I think your idea is a good one, to stay away from reading too much medical stuff before your appointment on Monday. A couple of years ago I had some tests for possible problems with my uterus... and I got really freaked out when I started reading up on what it might be, and what the treatments might be. I had to make myself stop reading, too, because I was just getting too upset.

The area that I nurse in is far removed from the reproductive system... and even then, it's just different when it is yourself or a loved one who is affected by ailments.

Sending good energy and healing thoughts your way.... take care, my dear
kisses from kroiks

May 9, 2007
8:23 am
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ScaredinMichigan
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kroika,

Thanks for checking on me last night. I appreciate it.

I am glad that you got your shelves done. I too, always like it when I can start and complete a project. Especially one that makes my life a little easier, and I would give ANYTHING to feel like my house is a little more organized.

I do hope that your date with "A" goes well. I hope that you will figure out exactly what you both want and where you are headed. You my friend, deserve NOTHING less than the best.

As far as the "other side"...kroika..I am truly only mad at me. OK? If you read it all, I think that you will understand what part of it really has me so upset. I am hurting and I am trying to do what is right for everyone. I just don't know what that is anymore. I am getting more and more confused trying to figure it out though. I am doing my best, and sometimes I wish people could just see that. I don't know. I just don't know.

Anyway, I am skipping Jims today...which is probably not the smartest thing to do, BUT...I need an emotional rest. I am tired. I am emotionally exhausted. BUT...I suppose that I will make it.

Ok, going to run for now. I do hope that you have a GREAT day. Thanks for being there...and supporting me.

Love to you...

Mich

(((kroika)))

May 16, 2007
10:27 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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any chance you are around?

May 16, 2007
11:25 pm
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hey Mich,

yes I am... 8:22 p.m. Pacific time (11:22 for you)... but I am just about to dash to the store for a few things.

If you want to write something, I will respond when I get back. Should be well before midnight your time.

(((Mich)))

I read over in libs that you're having a bad night. I hope you hear back from Jim... and I'll be back soon.

hang in there, my friend.

love, kroiks

May 17, 2007
12:00 am
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....maybe you went to bed. It's just before 9 p.m. here, midnight for you.

I'll check back...

hope you're feeling a little better (((Mich)))

May 17, 2007
1:28 am
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Hi again, Mich

It is now an hour later... 10:18 pacific time, 1:18 a.m. your time. I wonder if you went for a drive? I hope you are safe.

I've read your posts over in the 'safe place' on libs; read the love and warmth and support given to you by Bev and Friendma. I'm glad they were here tonight for you.

Once again the anonymity of this site has caused some pain... and I am hoping that you are talking to Jim or some other flesh-and-blood person in your life - even if it's a stranger on a crisis line.

Ah, Mich. It's hard to see you go through so much pain. I hope that by holding on you can find that by morning at least one or some of the causes of your pain will have diminished.

I will be leaving for work shortly. Depending on how busy it is at work tonight, I will be checking in here as often as I can.... so if you write something on this thread, I will see it before morning. I may even make another post or two myself, if I can think of anything to say that I think might be at all helpful to you.

(((((((Mich))))))) hold on. You are a survivor and much, much more of a thriver than you are probably feeling right now.

I'll check back soon.
much love, kroiks

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