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Knowledge of child abuse - how do I help her
September 23, 2003
8:52 pm
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tracylyn
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September 24, 2010
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Hi all, yeah it's me. Haven't written for a while but today I need your help.

My daugher is almost 12, in the 6th grade. One of her best friends is being abused at home. She has told my daughter on several occasions that her mother and siblings have to leave their home and go to an Aunt's house often because her father flies into anger rages.

The friend told my daughter yesterday that her dad had grabbed her and hit her and shook her and grabbed her neck. I told my daughter to let her friend know that she can call me any time of the day or night and I will come and get her. I told her that if she didn't want to go back she could stay here. Today, the girl was late for school, when she arrived she wore the same clothes as yesterday. She told my daughter and a couple others that she had to go to the hospital and then they stayed at their Aunt's again.

My daughter told the girl what I had said and the girl just shrugs it off and acts like it's not a big deal. It's so sad, she is so used to it it's just common place for her now.

The girl is afraid to talk to her mom about it...it just goes unspoken. It sounds like the mother is abused as well although I'm not positive. The girl is also afraid that if she speaks up it will get worse. With that, my daughter and I have discussed what our options are. We discussed talking to the school to see what they can do or perhaps calling a local agency or something.

So really that's my question....what do I now!!!!

September 23, 2003
9:18 pm
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tooscared
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Hi Tracy,
You and your daughter need to talk to the school counselor because they are required by law to report any type of child abuse that they know about.

Sounds like this girl trusts your daughter and knows that she needs to tell someone. That makes me so sad since our daughters are the same age. It is hard to imagine any one hurting our girls and it makes me mad to think of someone hurting this girl too.

I am glad to talk to you Tracy. Things are strange online right now and your familiar name is comforting.

September 23, 2003
9:27 pm
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mj
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Hi Tracyln....
I am so sorry to hear this...breaks my heart.
Please tell someone....the child can't cause ...you know....its her home, her family, and that's all she knows. I remember as a child, an abused child, that my parents were going to get divorced one time....it was devastating to me and my sister. We were use to our parents...it was comfortable and hell, we didn't know that it wasn't normal...not until counseling when I was 20 something did I find out I had been abused.

If you want to remain anonymous for your daughters' and her friendship, tell a school counselor, like TS suggested...but please tell someone. They will investigate. Tell family services....just tell someone. Then maybe the family will have to get some help. Sometimes they might just move...but I hope not. Hugs...so good to hear you are around 🙂

September 24, 2003
12:23 am
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tracylyn
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Martina McBride Concrete Angel lyrics

Nobody knows what she's holdin' back
Wearin' the same dress she wore yesterday
She hides the bruises with linen and lace

The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask
It's hard to see the pain behind the mask
Bearing the burden of a secret storm
Sometimes she wishes she was never born

Through the wind and the rain
She stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place where she's loved
Concrete angel

Somebody cries in the middle of the night
The neighbors hear, but they turn out the lights
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate
When morning comes it'll be too late

Through the wind and the rain
She stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place where she's loved
Concrete angel

A statue stands in a shaded place
An angel girl with an upturned face
A name is written on a polished rock
A broken heart that the world forgot

Through the wind and the rain
She stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place where she's loved
Concrete angel

September 24, 2003
2:07 am
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heisthe1
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tracylyn

Hello, I also agree with TS. However, you can contact the authorities, C.P.S.(Children Protective Services) or your local law enforcement yourself. Protecting children is everybody's job!

You have a big heart and this world needs more like you, but do this child a favor and make that call.

Thanks for letting me share.
God bless

September 24, 2003
3:09 am
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Zinnie
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Tracylyn,

I am wondering why the hospital has not contacted the authorites?

I don't know who you should talk to, the police, CPS, school counselor. But, I think as you know about it you need to do something.

Although I don't want to discourage you or anyone else from turning in any kind of abuse, be prepared for the fall out.

But, at the same time I'm thinking to myself, this poor kid and her family, yes, they need help.

I hope I did not add more stress to the thought process here, but you know what the right thing to do is. It is just hard picking up that telephone to make the call.

Love,
Zinnie

September 24, 2003
9:42 am
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sixfootblonde
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Hey tracy! Like ts said, it's been different on here, great to "see" you! Someone familiar....

Zinnie's right, someone at the hospital should have reported this. Too sad for words, please tell someone.....

September 24, 2003
12:58 pm
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tracylyn
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Thanks Guys....

SFB ~ good to "see" you too. I notice you are not around as much anymore either.

Tides have changed.

When talking with my daughter, we at first were thinking we'd just try to help the girl but the girl is so scared. Honestly, for a split second, I did have the thought that it's not my business. Then I remembered the lyrics and the video to the song I posted above....no one did anything, and she lost her life. So, I'm going to start with the school and possibly the police and I'll go from there.

The girl is very vague and sketchy on the detail she gives so my daughter was not sure who went to the hospital.

I appreciate the help...I knew you guys would give great advise so I wanted to run it by you. I'll keep you posted as to what comes out of it.

T

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