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knowing better and doing better - 2 different things
November 4, 2000
3:35 pm
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peck
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I need your feedback to help me understand a main issue in my rehabilitation. I am wwriting this out of desperation.

I set out to do specific things and cannot motivate myself to actually doing them. I just want to lay in bed and watch TV. I can think it through, but push myself to the last minute and then blow it off. What is wrong with me?

This is pronounced when it comes to situations with authority. HELP

November 5, 2000
10:50 am
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eve
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Hi peck,

from what you write I don't really understand where you are coming from. But sometimes we have to persuade ourselfs that it's worthwhile doing it - even if we "know" that what we should do makes perfect sense. I know these situations - I know what I should do, because I am a sensible person I decide to do it - yet there is something more inside myself that is not open to reasoning, only to gentle loving persuasion. And this reluctant part of myself often has some yesbutts and whynotts that need attention. Because this is a rather emotional part of myself it is sometimes difficult to find out what's keeping me (irrational fears, old beliefs that I can't possibly do this...). But it's a good idea to try and sort things out, because then I can really set the goals that I want, and go right for it.
Good luck to you.

November 5, 2000
12:57 pm
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Molly
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I find that I too am great at procrastination. I know what I should do, and don't always do it. Some where I ditched my commitment to structure and follow through. I must admit that I can be a very lazy person, and don't know quite when I developed the habit. I was always in such controll, that need to be perfect, I guess I just let go to much. I am sure that depression came into the picture at one point, and a series of dissappointments that gave me a what is the use attitude, I do know that it takes energy, and that takes action, and getting on line, or the tv, doesn't take much effort, and whops there goes another day. The hours turn into months then years, but that darn clock keeps ticking and a new day for a new chance. I have been doing better at least one thing, then two things, before you know it I'll be close to where I want to be. It is much more difficult to reclaim good habits than the bad ones.

November 5, 2000
8:25 pm
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janes
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Procrastination can be a sign of depression and/or repressed anger

November 7, 2000
12:08 am
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sorrel
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I also have problems getting moving.
I had to change the way I look at things, I found that I wasn't getting even the simple things done, ex. dishes, laundry, etc.. I now don't try to do every thing completely. I tell myself that I will do something for a brief period. For example I will start dishes and only do them for 10 to 15 minutes, and no more. It is a tolerable period of time to do dishes. I often find that once I have started I will continue until I am finished, however not always. I do not allow guilt to come into play though, I promise myself this brief and when I accomplish it I feel better about myself. The deed comes before the motivation to do the deed.
I never feel motived before I begin. I am also a very depressed person. I have been depressed for almost 30 years. I see myself in you. Are you afraid of people in authority? I can not tell you what you need. I can relate only what I have experienced. I have done similar things and I have been told ( it makes sense to me) that this relates to my first figures of authority, my parents, and my issues with them. I have also been told that I am a boarderline personality, don't worry too much about labels, I trust no-one and it makes it difficult to relate to people in authority. I do hope that you will seek help, not from a friend, but from a professional. They are far better at not judging people.

November 9, 2000
1:48 am
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peck
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I am grateful for the feedback. I do suffer from depression. I am taking paxil to help me with this. I have come a long way, but i do procratinate once I get home. I blow everything off and it is difficult getting started in the morning.

I will try to do things for short periods and see how that works. I know I have to do certain things, but, I just keep blowing it off and staying in my head. The time just seems to go.

I did loose both of my parents. I took care of both of them. I was very protective of them. They died four months apart. I realized how much of me was them. I didn't know how much until they were not there. I miss them.

When I say I have come a long way is because I have developed me for me...understanding my parents were my real motivation all of my life in so many facets of me. After they died, nothing really seemed worthwhile. In that sense I have come a long way. I am motivated for the things that seem to give me instant gratification, like food, TV, the computer, going out. But for other things, I cannot seem to get them done. My house is a wreck. I think sometimes I am just keeping myself distracted. There is still so much going on in my head that I am not sure exactly what I am keeping myself distracted from.

The repressed anger is a good point. I had not brought that into focus before.

Again, I am grateful for the feedback. I stay in my head allot and the confirmation from others helps me to frame the issues, instead of going back and forth in my head.

thanks.

November 9, 2000
1:08 pm
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Cici
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Behaviorist theory habeenhighly successful in altering behavior, when applied correctly (this is often not the case, thus there are problems and opponents to its use, especially in teh school system).

The best strateg is to do small tasks and reward yourself for those smaller tasks. Gradually build up the reward contingency to inculde larger incriments of time and/or more copmelx tasks. Although extrinsic motivators like food, activity reinforcers, and money, can reduce the deisred response in those activities the person already finds intrinsically (internally) rewarding, this is not the case for boring or difficult tasks.

Also make sure that you're getting enough physical activity, walking or running, working out. These increase energy level and help your body produce natural endorphins that lift the mood and prevent depression.

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