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Know when you're being bullied.
February 3, 2005
3:37 am
New Member
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
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I got this from two different sights:




The Smear Campaign of the Abuser

"Criticizing others is a dangerous thing, not so much because you may make mistakes about them, but because you may be revealing the truth about yourself".
Judge Harold Medina

At the end of a relationship with abusers, they begin what Lundy Bancroft has coined the “preemptive strike”. They will hurl accusations, usually ‘projection’ at their victim and recruit whatever audience they can fool.

To avoid exposure, the abuser will resort to a smear campaign. On closer examination, the words of the abuser reflect his own behaviour.

Lundy Bancroft, author of 'Why Does He Do That - Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men,' says…
"Abusers increasingly use a tactic I call "preemptive strike," where he accuses the victim of doing all the things that he has done."

The Socialised Psychopath or Sociopath

Also known as the corporate psychopath, workplace psychopath, industrial psychopath and administrative psychopath.

Motivation: power, gratification, personal gain, survival
Mindset: manipulation, deception, evil
Malice: high to very high; when held accountable, off the scale

* Jekyll & Hyde personality
* always charming and beguilingly plausible, especially to those who are capable of protecting or enhancing the sociopath's position
* excels at deception (this must never be underestimated, but always is)
* excels at evasion of accountability
* is extremely and successfully manipulative of people's perceptions and emotions (eg guilt and anger)
* silver-tongued, has an extreme verbal facility and can outwit anybody (including a top barrister) in verbal conflict
* will often engineer himself or herself into a position of authority as gatekeeper of the organisation and thus the person through whom all information must flow, and the person to whom all requests for services must be referred - which he or she then takes delight in denying
* is adept at appearing to offer weak and inadequate people the positions of power, control, security, influence or respect that they crave but would otherwise be unable to achieve - such people are unaware that their consequent dependence on the sociopath makes them permanent manipulatees and pawns
* identifies those essential to the sociopath's survival and manipulates their perceptions them by making them feel special and thus obligated to reciprocate with support and protection
* manipulates others into making fools of themselves in situations where they cannot back down or from which they cannot withdraw - these people become increasingly susceptible to further manipulation and are then trapped as pawns in the sociopath's game
* is likely to be surrounded by people who, having been subjected to control, manipulation and punishment by the sociopath, look wretched and who start to exhibit behaviour best described as disordered, dysfunctional, sullen, aggressive, defensive, hostile, retaliatory, counterproductive or cult-like and for whom disbelief, disavowal and denial are instinctive responses
* creates an environment where levels of denial are so great that those involved are oblivious of the foolishness and self-evident absurdity of their denials when presented with the facts, with the result that non-involved observers are led to question whether such levels of denial merit psychiatric intervention
* is contemptuous of disrepute to their organisation and of collateral damage and of the destructive consequences for all direct and indirect parties
* is always surrounded by and leaves behind a trail of dysfunctional organisations, destroyed businesses, ruined careers, stress breakdowns and unexplained suicides
* despite a trail of devastation to individuals, organisations, families and communities, the actions of a socialised psychopath may go undetected or unrecognised for years
* a history of conducting frivolous, vexatious and malicious legal actions, especially (but not exclusively) against anyone who can recognise the sociopath for what he is
* only after the sociopath is exposed and relieved of position, or they move on, can the full depth of their destructive behaviour be fathomed and the consequences calculated
* is skilled at identifying, undermining, discrediting, neutralising and destroying anyone who can see through the sociopath's mask of sanity
* at all times restricts the actions and rights of others (especially those holding the sociopath accountable) whilst aggressively protecting his or her right to do anything without being hampered by social norms or legal requirements
* pursues endless vindictive vendettas against anyone perceived as a threat or who attempts, knowingly or unknowingly, to identify or reveal or expose the sociopath, or who makes efforts to hold the sociopath accountable
* is adept at appropriating rules, regulations, procedures and law to manipulate, control and punish accusers regardless of relevance, logic, facts or consequences
* persists in and pursues vindictive vendettas using self-evidently false evidence or information, even after this is brought to the attention of the sociopath
* will often manipulate minor bullies of the Wannabe type (who on their own might or would not merit the label ' serial bully') into acting as agents of harassment and as unwitting or unwilling conductors of vendettas
* is adept at placing people in situations where the sociopath can tap into each person's instinctive urge to retaliate in order to use them as his or her instruments or agents of harassment
* gains gratification from provoking others into engaging in adversarial conflict
* once conflict has been initiated, the sociopath gains increased gratification by exploiting human beings' instinctive need to retaliate - this is achieved by encouraging and escalating peoples' adversarial conflicts into mutually assured destruction
* revels in the gratification gained from seeing or causing other people's distress
* when faced with accountability or unwelcome attention which might lead to others discerning the sociopath's true nature, responds with repeated and escalating attempts to control, manipulate and punish
* is adept at reflecting all accusations and attempts at accountability back onto their accusers
* is adept at creating conflict between those who would otherwise pool negative information about the sociopath
* has no limits on his or her vindictiveness
* the need to control, manipulate and punish develops into an obsession with many of the hallmarks of an addiction
* is skilled at mimicry and can plausibly and spontaneously regurgitate all the latest management jargon
* exhibits minimal professional skill level and competency
* exploits his or her intelligence to excel at talentless mediocrity
* is always identifying the behaviours and strategies to which other people respond with the desired effect
* is able to anticipate and credibly say what people want to hear
* is easily able to win people over before betraying them or deceiving them or ripping them off
* easily manipulates and bewitches an immature or naive or vulnerable or emotionally needy person to be their spokesperson or agent of aggression
* exploits anyone who has a vulnerability
* is pushy and extremely persuasive
* is sexually inadequate and sexually abusive
* is likely to protect anyone accused of or suspected of sexual abuse of pedophile activity, and will frustrate or obstruct investigations into that person
* maybe associating with, or actively involved in, abuse or pedophile activity
* has no emotions, no emotional processing capability and no ability to understand other's emotions
* is incapable of understanding, initiating or sustaining intimacy
* the male sociopath has often convinced a string of women to feel they are in love with him and despite being treated abominably they blindly continue to be loyal to him and minister willingly to his every demand
* may start projects with apparent enthusiasm and energy but quickly loses interest
* frequently takes unnecessary and uncalculated risks but takes no account of consequences
* is reckless and untrustworthy with money
* is likely to be illegally diverting or siphoning off significant sums of money to his or her own budget, project, account or cause
* is unreliable and untrustworthy in every facet of life
* is likely to be leaking confidential information or secrets to third parties
* is likely to have committed or be committing criminal or near-criminal offences, eg fraud, embezzlement, deception
* is likely to have committed or be committing breaches of harassment and discrimination law, employment law, contract law, etc
* disregards rules, regulations, Health and Safety requirements, professional standards, codes of conduct and legal requirements, etc
* cannot comprehend the deeper semantic meaning of language and is thus unable to understand or appreciate metaphor, hyperbole, irony, satire etc (these elicit either zero response or a hostile response)
* likes, seeks, enjoys and relies on procedure, ritual and ritualistic practices
* through arrogant overconfidence takes increasingly risky chances and eventually overplays their hand or makes a mistake which leads to the sociopath revealing him or herself
* exhibits parasitical behaviour, takes everything and gives nothing
* grabs headline credit for minimal, flukey or other peoples' success whilst surviving off the backs of manipulatees who are exclusively blamed for all failures
* is callous, cold and calculating
* is devious, clever and cunning
* is ruthless in the extreme
* regards people as objects and playthings to be discarded when surplus to requirements
* displays zero empathy
* completely without conscience, remorse and guilt
* malicious and evil

Power over people

The serial bully is able to exert a hold over people for a variety of reasons.

Targets are disempowered such that they become dependent on the bully to allow them to get through each day without their life being made hell.

The serial bully is often able to bewitch an emotionally needy colleague into supporting them; this person then becomes the bully's spokesperson and advocate. How people can be so easily and repeatedly taken in by the bully's glib charm, Jekyll and Hyde nature, and constant lying is a mystery. Psychopaths are especially adept at this.


February 3, 2005
7:11 am
New Member
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
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thank you for that i was once married to one the best thing he ever done for me he left but even that was done in the most cruel way any one couid ever of possabaly done karen 2oo5

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