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Kicked to Curb by Codependency? Thoughts Pls.
June 20, 2009
4:42 pm
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Rays of Light
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September 30, 2010
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I met a woman and a meaningful relationship started to develope over 5 months. She was recently divorced (1 yr.), and very verbal about moving on from a relationship which had been abusive on several levels for a large portion of the 12 year relationship. I noticed that during communication between her and the X re. their children , that she would "answer" to him as if they were still involved. Then recently, she ended us, and allowed him to come back for at least the 4th time over the past few years. Communication between us has all but disappeared. He calls her morning, noon, and night. To top things off, they were involved very young and had their first child when she was 15. She has said that in many ways, he raised her, although he is only 2 years her senior. Due to a lack of family structure, they made their way together over the years. Now, she is seeing a therapist and wants to find her true self. This is great, but how can she do so while still being wrapped up in him. I'm on the far outside of the circle now, but don't know if I should stay and fight for her or leave well enough alone. Thanks

June 20, 2009
5:04 pm
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atalose
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Unfortunately you would be fighting a 12 year history which includes “their” dance of come here go away. You’d be fighting against all she has ever known in hopes she finds a different way which may or may not include you.

I’d keep myself safe and remain on the outside circle.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

June 20, 2009
8:53 pm
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Rays of Light
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I agree completely with that. It's amazing how so very difficult it can be to remain outside. Thank you.

June 20, 2009
11:25 pm
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atalose
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Rays of light I know it’s difficult but not as difficult or hurtful as it could be remaining on the inside. Keep reminding yourself of that.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

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