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KC30 -- Just wanted to say hello
February 2, 2006
7:03 pm
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Hurts_so_bad
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Hi KC

I miss hearing from you but I know you're not posting because you have finally let go of your ex. I think that's wonderful!!! 🙂

Anyway, just wanted to say hello and I hope you'll post again sometime. I sure do miss all your advice and encouragement!

February 3, 2006
10:01 am
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CAMER
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(((hi KC)))) i miss you & your words of wisdom!!! hope all is well with the newborn & life.

love, camer

February 3, 2006
10:12 am
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2bstrong
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Hi kc...

I haven't caught up with you in so long...thank you for posting your thoughts on my "Dear Jill" thread. Good advice, I am still mulling it over--whether or not to respond. Each day I get farther away.

How are things in your life? How is your baby? What new and exciting things are you doing these days?

2b

February 4, 2006
8:04 am
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kc30
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Hey- thanks for saying hi! I've been doing great! I try to pop by here when I can, but my days are very busy, as you can imagine! Kids are with their dad right now so I popped on to skim the threads before I head out for my run.

Not much new...well, yes I guess there is. My husband (can't call him stbx now because he's holding up the divorce) has ended the affair and wants me/marriage back. I guess it was bound to happen...so people keep saying, but it's not as gratifying as one would think.

It's funny too....because I have finally come to the place where I want to have a better relationship with him than we've had the past couple of months...we have very small children and the rest of our lives to raise them. It didn't matter so much that he was still with the "girlfriend"...I just wanted us to get along and I made the decision to finally let it go and stop being mad at him. Control my end of things in creating a better relationship- if you will.

And as soon as that happened....everythign changed for the better. So bizarre!

Still in counselling...working on changing my thought patterns, and building self esteem...and it's working. The ex and I get along very well....we have one day a week that we spend with the kids together...church, the park....that kind of thing, so I'm getting my "family fix" and I'm at peace with that. It was my therapists suggestion and I think it's been good for all of us...I know it has been for me and the kids. He'd like more I think, but he doesn't pressure me.

I've got lots of new hobbies that I'm getting into...see a lot of my friends and am just keeping busy.

Not every day is great, but my new motto is "It's just today"- trying not to make such a big deal out of everything, analyze things, or try to guess what other people are thinking. I trust that bad days and bad feelings will pass now, and instead of trying to drive them out, I just look for something nice to do for ME until they pass naturally. Thought stopping works really well for me too.

I am healthier than I"ve ever been in my entire life and am learning how to apply the principles I've been learning about for two years to my life- detachment, gratitude, humility and the 12 steps in particular. It works 🙂

Enough about me....how is everyone doing?

kc

February 4, 2006
2:49 pm
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2bstrong
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Hi kc...glad you stopped by.

Isn't it amazing that when things happen in life that are not good (divorce, end of relationship, death of a loved one, loss of a job) that we look inward and seek improvement, change in ourselves? I can't speak for everyone, but that has happened to me, and I know it has happened and is happening for you.

In trying to alter my perspective, I have found that it makes life easier. I have found that I am so much less judgemental of others...I look with more loving eyes. Talk about a lesson in humility.

I also am working on myself esteem. Mostly the self-talk. It is very, very, hard for me. I am most critical and judgemental of myself. I get down a lot, but I stay very busy, and don't let the grass grow under my feet.

What are your thoughts on the future of you and your sbtx/husband? What are the rumblings in your gut?

love to you--2b

February 7, 2006
5:53 pm
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Deena
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Hi Kc...
I haven't been around for awhile. Last time I was here you were still pregnant! Glad to hear everyone is doing well...Funny how life works, huh? You were and still are an inspiration!!!!

February 7, 2006
6:50 pm
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turnabout
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hey kc!

Soooo happy to hear you seem content w/ life as it is. It's hard to get there from focusing on "life as it should be," isn't it? I'm getting there, too. It's a wild ride, this letting go.

I hope you'll pop in as often as you can. I love hearing your updates.

Ciao
TraCo

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