Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Karin, Hope, Cici, Tears, Askme,& All II
December 10, 1999
12:16 pm
Avatar
Angelwings
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

ITs actually a really beautiful thing, I believe in our greatest weakness likes our greatest strength..another good title, hey im on a roll!
Its such a wonderful way to life. YOu can choose to live in a world free of fear, anger and suffering. IT really is a choice, god gave us free will.......use it my friends!

December 10, 1999
3:03 pm
Avatar
Angelwings
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

whoops, I mean "within our greatest weakness lies our greatest strength" merry xmas!

December 10, 1999
3:05 pm
Avatar
hazza
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey AngelW,
I had another big row with my mom last night but, we sorted things today, it was nasty.
But you are right, however hurt i feel i know that she did the best that she could, she made mistakes, she is human. I argued with her that i don't like her bitchiness and i dont want to be manipulated, if she wants something just ask, don't manipulate.
We discussed it all, she had a row with my BF and they got it sorted too, so hopefully their will be enough peace for me to feel sorry for myself now!
Did you see i put my email up somewhere (cant remember which thread, was it this one?) for you, if you want to email me that would be great. Let me know.
Im so glad you are finding some peace with your mother, we can't change them can we! we may as well get used to the oldies and chill out a little, we only have one life don't we. I just don't have the energy to hate forever, too many other things to do!
I am going shopping with family tommorrow and I WILL NOT PANIC even though i hate crowds. let you know how it goes.
Talking of canada, it was so nice their because no-one in the street or malls had an attitude, no one looked like they wanted to kill you! I felt so safe there, In england you cannot walk down the road without people knocking you on purpose or staring at you evily

December 10, 1999
3:16 pm
Avatar
guest_guest
Guest
Guests

Angelwings,thankyou. I wanted to ask something:
1) you've been feeling this well for how long? How consistent is it? I mean what is your mood pattern?
2) Did you need any external help in reaching where you are or did you do it on your own? Like seeing a therapist or did you sort out things on your own? Thanks...

December 10, 1999
3:58 pm
Avatar
Angelwings
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

well I did some counselling and still are ( but not a lot ) it really is a change that takes place in the soul first and foremost.
I have been growing spiritually and emotionally for some time but especially over the past year or two. It is gradual and requires a lot of actual work and prayers. IT is mainly being concious all the time and not reacting but responding. Meditation has and is helping greatly. I began to live at a deeper level and it is really now starting to deepen where i feel it will eventually become innate and will not require so much effort. I guess it is an inner peace that is working and bubbling its way to the surface. I feel like I have been submerged for years and am finally surfacing for air........:)

December 10, 1999
4:01 pm
Avatar
Angelwings
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

that reservoir is there for all of us.....even you guest:)

December 10, 1999
4:48 pm
Avatar
guest_guest
Guest
Guests

cool.. šŸ™‚ ..thanks ... (b/w this font is really nice with respect to the way the smiley face comes up, someone must have chose it carefully for this site.. šŸ™‚ ). I dont understand the difference between reacting and responding..?

December 11, 1999
11:42 am
Avatar
KTHOMAS
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I must add my two sense. I made peace with my father before he died...but not by confronting him or telling him how I let him down...but by telling him I knew he loved me and that he had done the best he could and I knew that. I had gotten to know him (I mean really know him) the three years before and saw him reaching out to me and wanting to make up for lost time. I had moved away for ten years and was forced to move into the same apt. complex he lived in. I am thankful for that time. My mother died when I was still a child so our relationship never suffered and never blossomed. We as parents make our share of mistakes...some that our own children hold onto just like we did. But we do the best we can. Forgivness is a powerful word. It sets you free...but forgiving and forgetting don't always go hand in hand. Family is important...but it can also add pressure to be something that you are not. Unless I can be accepted for who I am and not what they expect me to be...I must pull away...

We are all special and unique in wonderful ways...and we all use different coping skills and heal at different rates...that doesn't mean one is better than the other...ever. Unconditional love is key...and we should always use it and never judge when someone isn't growing at the same rate as ourselves or growing much faster than we are.

I have up days and down days...I have finally taken the step I needed to find a local church and will continue to go and build my own spiritual being back up. Yes...I was already working on it from home...but for "me" it was time to take the next step. I still have doubts and fears...will I ever rise above them? Yes and no...I must press on through them...but they may remain with me forever...just not hold me in bondage.

Maybe this won't make sense to you...and that's okay too. What makes sense to me...may not always make sense to others...

Take care my friends...you are all beautiful...

Love, Karin

December 11, 1999
12:14 pm
Avatar
Angelwings
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Karin, I agree, everyone is on their own personal journey in life, everyones is unique and special to them. If I can give or others can take from my own experience then great, take what they feel intutively is right and will work for them.......
we are all here to share our experiences of life...

December 11, 1999
12:16 pm
Avatar
Angelwings
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Karin, I agree, everyone is on their own personal journey in life, everyones is unique and special to them. If I can give or others can take from my own experience then great, take what they feel intutively is right and will work for them.......
we are all here to share our experiences of life...

December 11, 1999
12:16 pm
Avatar
Angelwings
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Karin, I agree, everyone is on their own personal journey in life, everyones is unique and special to them. If I can give or others can take from my own experience then great, take what they feel intutively is right and will work for them.......
we are all here to share our experiences of life...

December 11, 1999
6:04 pm
Avatar
kitten
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Karin,

Your words touched me, opening my eyes to the valuable lesson of compassion. Thank you. I continue each day making in roads into my own self-actualization, knowing I might occasionally fall off the path. It's not as simple as A+B=c.(If it were, we'd all be there by now). Along the way, I seem to be collecting a sack full of little lessons, each one examined and stored.
And I appreciate your little gems of insight.

Peace.

December 11, 1999
7:30 pm
Avatar
Angelwings
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Well for what its worth, the A, B, c's of my healing, were FAR from simple. I guess im done here.
bye

December 12, 1999
3:17 am
Avatar
lost soul
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Karin
your last post made lots of sense to me.I share your sentiment of forgiving. I am a forgiving person too.
Sometimes i feel people like us do attract "toxic people".Nevertheless, I still believe in being forgiving, because by forgiving others, it will also set yourself free.

December 12, 1999
11:55 pm
Avatar
KTHOMAS
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi lost soul. How are you my friend?

I agree that people like us do attract "toxic people". But what made them so has always been my question...I know I can't fix them...and if they are not respecting my boundries...then I must distant myself from them.

I am growing and finding out why I allow certain things in my life...and by doing so, maybe finally I will know when it is time to move on and not look back. I am confident that my marriage has another chance. Be it tomorrow or years from now. But I do have a whole new outlook on what I will take and what I will not. I am stronger in that way.

Take care, Karin

December 13, 1999
12:17 am
Avatar
nisty
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

hi. this is the first time ive seen this website so im not really sure if this is where i should be. i have several problems so i dont know where to begin. i have a low self esteem but i think that has to do with the fact that im overweight. i was sexually abused as a child. i had some sort of sexual contact with five different guys before i was 8 years old. one of them being my brother which is 7 yrs older than me. i dont know if i can ever get over it. i am now 26 and it gets worse everyday thinking about it. i feel so lonely sometimes. i am a christian so i could never think about suicide but sometimes i wonder what it would be like if something happened to me and how people would react. another problem i have is the only time im really happy is when im with my best friend, but she is married with children and has her own life. when i dont hear from her i begin to wonder if she is mad at me. i need to learn how to be happy on my own. my sister is engaged to be married and i dont even have a boyfriend. i would love to have a husband and children so much. i just want to be happy. im sorry if i have babbled to much. i just didnt know what else to do. any suggestions

December 13, 1999
11:12 am
Avatar
kitten
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

nisty

Maybe you can find help at your local library where many good books can be found about your situation. That can be a start. Read as much as you can read. When you are ready, or you can do it now, find a therapist. If money is an issue, check out local universities which offer counseling at a lower rate. Often the road to Self can seem overwhelming, but we all know that the lessons we learn along the way are invaluable. Just know that others just like you are out there, at various stages of their paths,who can help. We can offer compassion, understanding, and unconditional acceptance. You are deserving of the best, believe that. Good luck and blessings.

December 13, 1999
11:28 am
Avatar
kitten
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Some of the school work pressure is off, I finished a long paper last night. Now I have to start studying for a final in my marital theories class. Gee, I wonder what kind of grade I'll get on that? Since I'm such an expert and all. Tee hee. Anyway, I feel a little better about school...

No word from the man. This is going to be a lonely holiday for him, too. Almost all of those friends from last X-mas are now on the side of the ex-wife--they are mostly her relatives, anyway. He won't be with his own family; they don't get along. Which means, if he doesn't spend it with me (we usually have at least xmas night and NYE together) he will be alone. Maybe this is what he needs. He has alienated me as well as alot of his friends, so he has to see his "aloneness" is the consequence of his behavior. I will make the attempt to offer xmas dinner at my house, but not to the degree of being desperate. No, I will offer as one friend to another. I want my children to have a happy holiday, without seeing their mom crying in the corner. And they will!

And yet, a little part of me thinks he will be in front of a roaring fire, with a glass of brandy in one hand and a beautiful blond in ther other..... (even tho' my friends and therapist says this is equal to me becoming president of any country!!!) What we tell ourselves, huh. No, if he doesn't come back it is his loss. Not mine. Obviously he feels more comfortable in a relationship with a woman who can not give him LOVE, only the superficial trapppings of her profession. That is his problem, not mine.

Peace to all. Everyone here is a special blessing to me. Thank you for sharing life with me.

December 13, 1999
9:59 pm
Avatar
nisty
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

thanks kitten. as a matter of fact i have my first appointment on dec.22. im real nervous about it. i dont know what to expect.

December 14, 1999
10:01 am
Avatar
lost soul
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Karin my friend!Thank you for concerning me. i am fine! Trying to forgive my husband for what he has done to me.At the same time, i am also trying to focus on myself more. I am doing my excercises quite regularly. Three times a week ! do you believe it.I now enjoy it very much. It is very distressing.( for personal & work ) I always look forward to go for my excercises. The only "bab" habit for me now is still my taking of sleeping.I feel that it gives me a peace of mind to have a good sleep.
You take care of yourself my dear friend!
Love always............... Lost Soul:)

December 14, 1999
10:02 am
Avatar
lost soul
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Karin my friend!Thank you for concerning me. i am fine! Trying to forgive my husband for what he has done to me.At the same time, i am also trying to focus on myself more. I am doing my excercises quite regularly. Three times a week ! do you believe it.I now enjoy it very much. It is very distressing.( for personal & work ) I always look forward to go for my excercises. The only "bab" habit for me now is still my taking of sleeping.I feel that it gives me a peace of mind to have a good sleep.
You take care of yourself my dear friend!
Love always............... Lost Soul:)

December 14, 1999
10:06 am
Avatar
lost soul
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Karin my friend!Thank you for concerning me. i am fine! Trying to forgive my husband for what he has done to me.At the same time, i am also trying to focus on myself more. I am doing my excercises quite regularly. Three times a week ! do you believe it.I now enjoy it very much. It is very distressing.( for personal & work ) I always look forward to go for my excercises. The only "bab" habit for me now is still my taking of sleeping.I feel that it gives me a peace of mind to have a good sleep.
You take care of yourself my dear friend!
Love always............... Lost Soul:)

December 14, 1999
11:24 pm
Avatar
KTHOMAS
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Lost Soul,

I am impressed that you are excercising! I wish I could get motivated again. I used to be into step arobics big time. It's been a little over a year and forty pounds later...Maybe that can be my New Years Resolution huh? I know I would love to take off this extra padding. It slows me down. šŸ™‚

I am not against sleeping pills. I take herbal ones when I am having troubles sleeping. But do be careful. I am glad you are feeling better about yourself...that is key in this healing process we are in.

I am working and dealing with being a single mom. I forgot how hard it to be one. But I am doing it...one day at a time. My husband is doing well considering where he is at. His mind is sharp and quick now that he has had all this "sober" time. He and I are communicating better then we have in years...but then I am in control of me and he has no control at all. He is usually the control freak so I will have to see how he handles this new independent woman when he comes home. That is in the future...and I must live in the now to survive.

God bless you and keep in touch.

Love, Karin

December 14, 1999
11:33 pm
Avatar
KTHOMAS
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

nitsy,

Hello and welcome. I am glad you joined us. I am so happy to hear you have a counseling appointment set up. That my dear is great! I know you must feel nervous...not knowing what to expect...but it is the most liberating experience. Just to be able to speak and not be ashamed of what has happened to you. To get feed back that the way you feel or think of yourself all has to do with your childhood and the things that you had to deal with.

My first appointment was wonderful. I couldn't wait to go again. I went weekly for a couple of months and had to take some time off due to finances. And I miss it. For the first time in my life I realized that I wasn't some awful screwed up person. I used to think that I shouldn't go back and relive the pain from my past...but by doing so...it freed me from it. I can't explain it any better than that. I guess you can tell that I think highly of therapy. šŸ™‚

So...Good luck to you and be sure to check in with us after you go. I will be praying and thinking of you.

December 14, 1999
11:38 pm
Avatar
KTHOMAS
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Kitten,

I am so glad the pressure of school has let up for the time being. I think it is time to pamper YOU now. The holidays are a tough time of the year and I don't want you to put too much on yourself. You know what I mean? I know you are going to give your kids the best christmas you can...and it will be wonderful. Keep pressing on my friend. You are doing a terrific job!

I have seen you grow since your first post here. Remember...your rainbow. šŸ˜‰

Love, Karin

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
22
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110929
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38539
Posts: 714213
Newest Members:
stanley, LarteyWellnessGroup, dr ado spell caster, Leslie Ann Satin, overmyhead201, delight1080
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer