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Just wondering
May 21, 2004
9:42 pm
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Anonymous
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I was just wondering why is it that us codependents before utilitzing the program do we still struggle so much with using all the wonderful tools we have to help us heal.
The pain before recovery becomes so great that it seems like once we know something diffrent it would be easy to change it because of the benifits and the pain eases much more than when we are wrapped up in not taking care of ourselves. Even though we know recovery feels so much better it is still a daily struggle not to fall back into old behaviors. Common sense would say that when you look at the diffrence there is no comparison beteen the two yet the one that brings peace, and serinity is the hardest to continue..

May 21, 2004
9:51 pm
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memphis
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Dear Smiles

With me its withdrawals. I got back into my old habits and then i straighen up again. I can feel myself falling again after telling myself this morning it will never happen again that I call him

May 21, 2004
10:03 pm
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why me 32
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Someone a long time ago told me that I tend to set myself up for failure. Maybe that's why. Maybe we just set ourselves up over and over again to fail...some form of masochism.

We need to learn to love ourselves. That's what I think. I'm just now starting to like myself a little. Actually, this is the first time in years that I've paid any attention whatsoever to my own needs, other than eating and sleeping.

I took a small step yesterday. I bought a pair of sandals. When I got to thinking about it, it's the first pair of shoes I've bought myself in two years, maybe more. Maybe next week I'll buy an outfit...who knows.

By the way, Webster's definition of masochism is:
pleasure in being abused or dominated : a taste for suffering.

That about sums it up, I believe.

May 22, 2004
11:34 am
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Anonymous
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Yeah my counselour tells me that it's a learning process and the more we utilize our tools, then when we do fall back or in a hole it doesn't take as long to pull ourselves back up. It just seems like sometimes the harder I work the more my family, co-workers and society as whole fights the changes I am making for myself. I already battle within myself but when I am doing good and feeling good about what I'm doing I have so many others say what is your problem because I am not the same person.. I am becoming healthier..
It's like being a passive person and one day you decide that you are going to take a stand for yourself then people call you a bitch why because you won't let them walk all over you... 🙂

May 22, 2004
1:54 pm
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Tumbleweed8
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Yes, logically, it looks like it should be easier than it is to me, also. We definitely have taught others how to treat us and they don't want to see us change and upset their apple cart. Unless, they truly care about us and how we have sufferred.

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