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just when i thought i was doing so well........
March 25, 2007
5:48 pm
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chakra girl
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September 29, 2010
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Hi everyone one,
I'm new here. I could be writing this stuff in my diary but thought perhaps the contact might help. Here goes. Broke up mutually with a recovered drug addict a year ago. Have already had and thought i'd recovered from an abusive/addictive husband 7 years ago. And am making progress albeit very slowly to change my life and be happy. I do mostly all the nurturing things i know support me. I'm at uni, i meditate, i don't drink anymore.... GOSH i sound boring! but you know what i mean. I am really dilligent and then out of the blue i do the most crazy thing. I log into my ex'
s email. I know its really wrong. But then its like I go from this great girl to this nutty chick in 0.4 secs and before i knew it i'd checked it obsessively four day s straight. I am here becuase i just don't want to log in again. And it actually feels like an addiction. I know part of it is actually a procrastinating strategy, you know like, if i'm obsessing about someone else using all my energy on that - then i'm already occupied and uni or focussing on me is out of the question. Does this sound familiar to you guys ? Are these the feelings your familiar with? I won't give in again. I know i still have feelings for him but my soul also knows i have to focus on me. ok big breath! ...... and sniff.....oops crying now..... only small tears... just to relieve tension of having to take responsibility for myself. 🙂

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