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just venting - have baggage to chat about
October 3, 2008
2:08 pm
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courage to change
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Today I met up with my mum. She is 65. I am amazed at how she has managed to keep herself going, although she still lives with my dad. I new at the age of 21 that my father was an alcoholic, but never a mild drug user. Today, I found out that he still takes mild drugs. How does my mum put up with it. I dont know. Her choice. Im so glad that I broke away from my family and trusted my intuition. My mum is the only one I have a relationship with. We are learning to be friends in the later years, as about prior to a year ago, it just was not possible. I m learning lots of things she has gone through, and in some strange way its so therapautic, understanding whats made me me.

Im out of the crap relationships I had in the past, with men who treated me disrespectfully. Yesterday, I bumped into a passed love for the first time in 3 years. We talked a little, but inside the umbilical cord had been cut. He had know power over my emotions whatsoever. I thought I might be friendly with you, but you are not having any part of me.

I am now with a lovely man, who I consider healthy. We have our problems, but he loves me and is committed. I am so grateful I am no longer in the abusive relationships I once was. I am so grateful for the life I live.

Im looking forward to seeing my man tonight.

Although I am with someone, I am still trying to build up new friendships with people, apart from my partner. I have done it this week, and I do feel more in control of me, and confident. I really need to keep a check on this, cause I seem to loose my whole self so easily in partners.

Next week I will be 40. Unbelievable, its taken me this long to realise what is abusive and not good for me. Im not interested in people who put me down, and I am very selective who I associate with. I am so glad for recovery and how far I have come.

Love to you all.

xxx

October 3, 2008
3:11 pm
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peace4all
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Courage to Change...
What a truly beautiful share, It is so nice to hear when people are healing and taking care of themselves. I think it is also wonderful that you are trying to build a relationship with your mother,You will be so happy you did in the years to come. I myself had alot of resentments at one time against my mom but thank goodness I realized that all we have is today. I had to come to the acceptance that she did her best, just as I did with my own children. When my mom passed away, I had no guilty feelings because we had become such good friends and spent so many hours just being woman/woman talking about everything. May you continue on your journey of recovery, and always remember that self-care is so important.. Blessings to you today.
Love in recovery, Peace

October 4, 2008
7:57 am
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courage to change
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Thanks very much for your feedback. Much appreciated. Yes, loads of baggage has been brought up. However, all in all life is brilliant, and I m so grateful for the life I have.

Have a good w.e.

xxx

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