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Just started a new relationship and I am so scared...
July 26, 2005
10:17 am
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cinden528
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I broke up with my last boyfriend about 3 months and it was very difficult. We had a very destructive and dysfunctional relationship. Anyway I recently met someone about 3 weeks ago. I really like him a lot but I am so scared of going back to all of my patterns. I tend to feel insecure and jealous. I am just so scared because he is such nice guy. I feel like I have a chance to start anew and have the kind of relationship I have always wanted with him. Any words of advice?

July 26, 2005
10:56 am
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kc30
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Hi Cinden
I can appreciate where you are coming from. I have the same fears about my next relationship, which is why I know I am not ready for another one yet. I have no advice to offer, but I will ask you this:

Given your current fears, are you sure you are really ready for another relationship at this time? It sounds like it may be too soon for you.

kc

July 26, 2005
8:19 pm
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cinden528
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It may. I just really like him and enjoy spending time with him. But sometimes I will say or do something that I regret later. I have a hard time giving him compliments.

July 26, 2005
8:25 pm
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frayedknot
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Cinden

If this guy is a real nice guy, etc.. He will work with you.. We can't control when "the guy" comes into our life. We can control how we approach every new relationship..

Are you getting any counseling? That would be very helpful right now..

Look for warning signs early and follow your gut. Don't get into another bad relationship

As things progress with the new guy, open up about your insecurities. If he really cares for you, he won't want you to be insecure and will, within reason, do what he can to make you feel secure..

Frayed

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