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Just some thoughts I had on the topic of "facing reality"
February 23, 2004
12:06 am
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kmshull
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Is it possible that in "facing reality", we can actually lose hope of anything better? In "facing reality" perhaps, we interpret that as being able to accept the negatives in our life and stop pretending things aren't what they seem. Perhaps the reality can be depressing enough that we can become stuck in it and forget how to believe and have faith that things do get better, that dreams do come true, that we are worth being loved.

I've been so scared to trust, so afraid I would be hurt once again, I was afraid to believe that I was worthy of someone loving me and being faithful to me. I constantly have been looking at the negatives in my life and justifying, "that's what I am worth". I lost my hope and belief in the future. I was so busy trying to "face reality" that all I did was focus on the negative aspects of it.

February 23, 2004
12:17 am
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Zinnie
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But part of facing reality is realizing the truth of the situation, and finding the answers to the real problems.

Too often, too many people look at their problems, and put their heads in the clouds - never facing the true situation, and telling themselves "it's not that bad." As they put up with a life, spouse, marriage, relationship that is bad - unless they face the reality of that... how can they really make a change for the better?

When I say change for the better, I mean change so the life REALLY is better. Not by making stipulations of exception. I mean by saying "well, he is not really abusive because he does not beat me into a coma" - "he really must love me because the other women are just one night stands - he always comes home."

Make sense?

Z.

February 23, 2004
12:37 am
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kmshull
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Well, of course, I don't think that in "facing reality" anyone should accept abuse. I am just wondering if sometimes one can focus so much on the negatives of their reality that they forget there can be positives too. I know that sometimes everything little thing in my life. Every little inconvenience, argument, disagreement is the end of the world. In "facing reality", I often forget that the reality of a situation can change. I forget to think positively. In no way was I relating this to an abusive situation.

February 23, 2004
2:28 am
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LA Rosa
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Obviously, there has to be some balance, some realistic thinking. All too often, we can find out that we have become conditioned into a frame of mind that accentuates either in a negative way or in a 'pie in the sky' kind of way....and both do not do have the balance that is required to live in a healthy state of mind. It may be worth considering that if someone is coming from the negative extreme - he/she is also going to find even something potentially positive - potentially more of a negative than a positive. The 'pie in the sky' merchant is just as likely to interpret a balanced reality as something negative as well - without dreams to dream and not one to come true. Balanced reality can be very threatening if you have lived your life from an extreme. Maybe, and I am hoping, that it will be possible to benefit from reconditioning or reprogramming ourselves to a stable happy medium. If our subconscious is available to be influenced when we are asleep - then surely that angle could be worth checking out. Does that make sense?

LA Rosa

February 23, 2004
4:40 am
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lewis
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I think when we are focusing on our 'realitites' be that whatever reality it may be - relationship's, life, jobs, be it small or big, we are getting to know ourselves, listening to ourselves, starting to trust our own instints.
Reality can make or break a person.
Take Care 🙂

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