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Just realized today...
January 27, 2006
10:50 pm
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September 30, 2010
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I just realized today that I am co-dependent. I self-diagnosed myself. Well, I have problems with anger and unhappiness. I have been with my fiance for over 2 years and I think I am trying to sabotage our relationship, but that is all going to stop. I am seeing patterns now that I have had in the past and I am doing things now that I did to end my last marriage. I don't want to ramble on and I just got over a cleansing cry, so my eyes are kind of blurry. But any advice on my next step? It really hit home when my fiance told me if I was sooo unhappy with him then I should just leave, but I won't because I do love him with all my heart and he is not mean to me, he is really nice! But I see my mother in me who has had depression, anxiety, stress for as long as I can remember and not very happy and I don't like that about her and I've never wanted to be like her and I see it now.
What's next?

January 27, 2006
10:58 pm
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September 29, 2010
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Hi prfctmommy and welcome to the site.

What's next you ask......let the healing begin!

Recognizing there is a problem is the first step.

My suggestion to you would be to do some reading to learn a bit more about codependency. Two good books to start with are:

1. Women Who Love Too Much, by Robin Norwood

2. CoDependent No More, by Melody Beattie

Both of these books were very helpful to me and to many others on this site.

I would also suggest that you look into CoDA. CoDA is a support group based on the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and has been helpful to many people here. You can find more information and meetings in your area at http://www.coda.org.

You may also find therapy beneficial.

As I said the first step is Awareness. Now is the time to educate yourself and begin the Action phase of your recovery.

Good luck,

January 28, 2006
10:51 am
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September 30, 2010
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Hi, thank you Lolli, I saw that book on B&N and wanted to read it, I will now.I am also familiar with the 12-step program, I am an addictive personality! I went to NA and AA before. I battle with addiction to anything from my cigarettes to prescriptions to working out to loving as I'm finding out. So, thank you and I will get some books. There is also a book I have I started reading called 'Letting go of the person you used to be'. So thank you and i'll keep you posted on how I'm doing.

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