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just listen to me
October 3, 2000
1:57 am
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i be
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September 30, 2010
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When I was 4th grade in primary school, a girl, who always called me her "best friend"
and did everything with me, suddenely said like this. "You are nothing. You are not my "best friend" anymore." I could not bieve this, and thought that she was just kidding.
So I laughted and said "What are you taiking about?" She got angry to say that she found that I hate her. I told her that it's a misunderstanding.But she never change her mind. From that day on, she regarded me as her "enemy". I was very sad and confused.
Because I have been so shy and afraid of
people, it's been really difficult for me to make just one friend or talk to a classmate.
Even if I talk to someone or being talked to,I can't tell whatever idea I have. My stomach starts hurting me, all ideas are cleared ,I lose my voice and I just remain silent. I can remember my nursery school and kindargarten days to spend alone. Playing with neighbors was enough to suffer me.
Now I am trying to become more positive but it's really difficult to change myself-my whole life.
I wish I could forget everything I have.I want to be an another person.

October 3, 2000
2:05 pm
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Brenda
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September 27, 2010
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dear ibe you sound like a very sensitive soul and that was very cruel and heartless what she said to you, but it was a reflection of HER and not of YOU.
YOu need to face the fear of being vulnerable and understand that this is a very real and powerful feeling for you, one that is controlling your emotional life.
Please, take a little time each day to make yourself a little bit more vulnerable to someone, we usually get defensive and put up fronts in order to not show or risk this vulnerability, but in your case you need to let go of all this and risk it or you will never live and always feel unhappy. God bless

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