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Just got some bad news, in shock...(Jen here)
October 26, 2006
12:01 am
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Jenni
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I don't know if anyone remembers, but we had a friend of my girls' living with us during the time of the twins' graduation. She was suppose to have graduated with the twins, but she went to have her tonsils out, and ended up missing a lot of school, and they didn't let her graduate. Our plan was to let her stay with us until she graduated, but she stayed with us a little longer than planned. She eventually moved out with a friend, and it has been a while since we have heard from her. We still have some of her things here.

Well, we got news tonight that she was killed in a car accident. She was driving and had her boyfriend with her. He survived. She also had an 18 month old baby with her, of one of her friend's, that she was taking care of. The baby didn't survive.

My girls are traumatized. This girl had become like a sister to my girls over the years. And they had even argued like sisters. My one daughter is having an awful time right now, because they weren't on the best of terms when they last saw each other.

Anyway, I haven't cried, yet. I'm still in utter shock and disbelief over this. She would call me "Mom", and yes, there were times when I felt annoyed with her. We had a bit of a problem with curfew and stuff while she was here. And we were also trying to help her come up with a plan since she didn't graduate.

Her parents are divorced, and her father is remarried. He was mostly the primary parent, but she didn't get along with her stepmother. She had also lost a brother a few years back, also in a car accident. She would mention that every now and then, how she had missed him.

Anyway, I'm beginning to rattle, here. I'm sure the reality of this will hit me later on. But for now, I feel like I'm in a dream.

Thanks for listening.

Jenni

October 26, 2006
12:09 am
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armyleo
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((((Jenni))))

I am so sorry..

That is shocking...Your girls need you but you also need to grieve and cry even if in private, because you don't want to upset them.

She was very lucky to have had a 2nd mom like you, to care of her and nurture her, those years as a teenager are hard.

Keep posting and talking to us if it helps.

Armyangel

October 26, 2006
12:15 am
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cyndra820
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((((Jennie))))

I am so sorry!!! This is horrible. I don't have words. I am so sorry.

You all need to grieve. Whatever you need, rambling's fine, we are here for you.

Regards,
Cyndra

October 26, 2006
12:18 am
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Jenni
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Thank you so much, ArmyAngel. I think it's beginning to hit me. She was so young. She had so many bad breaks in life. But she had a good heart and she was full of love. She was just your typical teenager.

Right before she suppose to graduate, she was planning to put some beads on her cap, (she is Native American), and the school was telling her she couldn't. Not sure why. But she fought it and won. Her grandfather was part of a school district from another area on the reservation. And he stepped up and helped her win, so she could wear the beads. Then, she was told she wasn't graduating, due to her absences and falling behind in her school work. But she still attended the graduation to watch the twins and her other friends.

This is breaking my heart, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to step away for a while now. I'll be fine, I just think I better go for a while, and check on my girls.

I'll post back soon, just need some time.

Thanks again, for listening. It means more than you know!

Bye bye, for now...

October 26, 2006
12:19 am
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Jenni
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Thank you, Cyndra. I think we posted at the same time. But thank you so much! It helps to know that I have such great support here!

October 26, 2006
12:24 am
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Zinnie
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Jenni,

I am so sorry for your loss. Four years ago this next month, my daughter was killed in a car accident. She was hit by a drunk driver, who was wanted in several other states for DUI/DWI. He ran to Canada. He killed my daughter. Through a miracle, my grand-daughter was thrown clear of the car, in tact, still in her infant seat. She is now five; and she has no Mother.

I cry every day for missing her. I do not dwell on it, I have moved on - we all have to. But, I still miss her. I look at her beautiful daughter and think - why?

We are blessed in that my daughter was married to a wonderful man, and he has been a superb Father. Couldn't have asked for a better Father, son-in-law or person in general. He re-married just a year ago. His wife is a fabulous step-mother to my grand-daughter; whom she now calls "Maman" (they are French-Canadian) - I accept it, and I am happy that she has such a woman in her life.

But, she is not my daughter.

Please, accept my deepest condolences, and if there is anything at all I can do to help - if you want to talk - mother to mother - put my name on a thread and I will be there.

Much love and sympathy,

Zinnie

October 26, 2006
12:47 am
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Jenni
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Thank you, Zinnie. I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I can't even begin to imagine what you've had to go thru. My heart goes out to you! I'm so very sorry.

I think I'm going to try and lay down. I can't even really think right now. I'm still just in disbelief.

Thank you all again so very much!

October 26, 2006
1:21 am
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mamacinnamon
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((( prayers goin up for you and your family and hers too )))

October 26, 2006
1:24 am
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Zinnie
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Jenni,

Thank you for your kind thoughts - reaching out to me at this time when you are in need.

Please, this is not about me - but, I certainly know the pain. So, if there is ANYTHING I can help you with, or you want to talk about - let me know.

Go lay down, put a warm cloth on your forehead and try to sleep.

Much love,

Z.

October 26, 2006
2:56 am
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Soulsister
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(((jen)))

I remember you talking about her.. when she lived with you and your girls. I was reading your post...and I started getting chills..especially when you mentioned the 18month old baby..it's just..so sad!! For you..and the girls..and her family..and her boyfriend..and the babies mom..I can't even imagine!!

I hope you are ok..and I will check back to see how you are tomorrow. I am so sorry..this is just so sad...and I am not good with words for things like this..but wanted to you to know..I am here..and thinking about you!!

Love Soulsister..

October 26, 2006
3:10 am
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lovinglife
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Jenni - I wished I had more engery right now to leave you something more than a hug.

((((Jenni and daughters))))

October 26, 2006
3:13 am
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Jen,

My heart goes out to you and your daughters. What a terribly traumatic loss, for many people.

Sending much sympathy your way.

hugs to (((you and your girls))), kroika

October 26, 2006
7:29 am
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ggfred4
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((((((((((((((((jen))))))))))))))))))
I am so sorry this happened. I will pray for you and your daughters today, gosh, jen, I am sorry...hugs

October 26, 2006
7:58 am
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jastypes
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Jen and Zinnie,

Your pain is deeply felt. Prayers going up for both of you, and for the family of this young girl and the baby. How utterly tragic.

October 26, 2006
9:24 am
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smarterone
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Jenni, I too remember her. It doesnt have to be your own daughter or family to feel the loss. Think of the good times you gave her that she couldnt get from her own. I just dont understand sometimes why things turn out the way they do. I am so sorry for your pain. My sympathy to your family.
donna

October 26, 2006
10:22 am
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hbdude2k
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Its amazing how life can just go in a split second. I have had 2 close friends go, 1 in a motorcycle accident(not his fault, 2 young kids and wife), 2nd one shot himself. In both situations, I had talk to them just a couple of hours before thier death. It is so shocking how life can end in an instant. It took me a few days to kick in, to feel the pain. The one that shot himself, his brother did the same thing. The deaths were 2 different situations, but u just wanna ask "why" all the time. Jen, your story is very sad, very shocking. I feel what you are going through. All I can say, don't keep asking yourself the "what if questions" Even if you said what you wanted to say before she left, there will always be the "what if questions". I have found that I just let it go and someday they will visit in your dreams. Hang in there because she knows you did the best for her.

October 26, 2006
10:29 am
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CAMER
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(((Jenni)))) wow, this is a very hurtful time you must be going thru and your daughters...to lose there friend, and for the girls dad, to have lost another child in a car accident. My thoughts and prayers go to you and your kids and the parents of the daughter and the parents of the lil' 18 mo old that was taken from life.

Life sometimes seems so sad, and wonder why these things happen, losing a loved one.

Know that you have so much support here.....and here is a million ((((((((((hugs))))))) sent your way and I hope you are feeling ok.

love, camer

October 26, 2006
10:40 am
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ScaredinMichigan
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Jenni-

Holding you close, and keeping you in my thoughts.

(((Jen)))

Scared

October 26, 2006
10:50 am
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nappy
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My prayers are with you and your family. There is nothing wrong with you not crying right now. I think in bad times like this, we all have to find our own time and space to grieve in our own way. Sometimes the pain and the hurt may hit us when we least expect it.
I was like that when my mother died. I guess everyone was watching me to see why I wasn't crying like everyone else. I knew that I was hurt and was trying to cry at that moment but I guess I was still in shock to know that my mother was gone forever. Until one day I just bust out and started crying. I cryed so hard that day but I knew what I was crying about. It was my own time that I grieve and made my peace with my mother.
God is our strength and may you and your family find him at this time.
Have a bless day!

October 26, 2006
11:21 am
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StronginHim77
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I would encourage you and your daughters to set up a photo of this precious young girl and maybe some candles & flowers around it? Having that point of contact for grieving is very helpful. And talk about her. As much as you can. That helps too.

My heart goes out to you all...

Love,

Ma Strong

October 26, 2006
11:39 am
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I know that no words can ease your pain right now so I won't get too wordy. I just want to let you know that I feel for you and your daughters.

You are a wonderful, caring and giving woman. This girl was blessed to have you in her life...

The stories of loss on this thread are truly heartbreaking and have reminded me that I need to appreciate those I love and cherish every moment that we have together.

I will give my children an extra hug today.

Much love and sympathy to you, (((Jen))).

TC

October 26, 2006
11:40 am
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on my way
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Oh Jenni, so sorry this has happened. My thoughts and prayers are with you and during the days ahead. Ma Strong's idea sounds like a good way to get everyone together to grieve, remember, talk about her and perhaps feel a little better. There must be some funny or positive memories of her to share.

Bless your heart,
love to you.
((((jen))))

October 26, 2006
11:43 am
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lollipop3
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(((Jenni)))

October 26, 2006
11:52 am
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bel
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Jenni so sorry to hear the sad news, they is very hard to deal with. I will keep you and your girls in my prayers.

Take Care
Bel

October 26, 2006
8:09 pm
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Jenni
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Wow, thank you ALL so very much for your support. I was speechless as I read this, that so many of you came forward with such comfort and love. Thank you so much.

It did finally hit me at work, today. I guess because I had finally left the house and all of the activity. Once I got to work and actually sat down at my desk, the reality had begun to sink in. And I hate crying at work in front of people, but they were all very understanding. I would have taken today off to be with my girls, but I had already taken a day off last week, when my other daughter was leaving town, so we could spend the day together.

My daughter that left may be coming back now for the funeral. I hate that she had to be so far away to hear this news. But at least she has her boyfriend, and that would be the first person she would choose to lean on.

My youngest, who is a senior in highschool this year tried to go to school. They ended up sending her home. She got calls on her cell all day long, for confirmation that this is all the truth or just a rumor. Poor thing is so very traumatized.

I guess the kids at school are going to hang a big picture of this lost loved one, and everyone is going to sign it. My daughter is going to take one of her prom pictures of them. They had triple dated that night, and we have some nice pictures that were taken.

I liked the idea of putting up a picture of her surrounded with candles and flowers and just talking about her. We've been doing the talking part, but still have to get all the photos together.

Anyway, I just want to thank you all again for all of your support. I, too, would like to say some prayers for the baby's family and the boyfriend's family. There are so many parties involved here that are so effected by this.

But she's with God now, and may she finally find the peace that she hadn't ever really known.

(((HUGS))) to EVERYONE and thankyou!

Jen

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