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Just ended a relationship
January 23, 2005
12:39 am
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KWMike
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September 30, 2010
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I have just ended a relationship, a very dysfunctional one. I am trying to be strong enough to stay away from her and not call her. I have been talking to God a couple of times today, the first time being when I opened my eyes this morning, it is working for today. I realize that I am not healthy enough for a relationship right now, and it is time to look after myself for a change. I don't know where to start. I am attending a CoDA meeting on wednesday. Thats a long way off..............I hope I don't act on my compulsion to find another woman to make this whole thing hurt less.............. i think I need to allow myself to feel hurt and go through all the emotions and deal with them. I know that I am powerless over substances, and now I am starting to see my powerlessness over other people, and it sucks...............It sucks that I am the type of person that tries to manipulate and control my partner, or should I say my hostage? I don't like me very much, I need change God. Help me.

January 23, 2005
12:43 am
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marley
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September 27, 2010
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KWMike - I think you are doing the right thing just by admitting to yourself what issues you have with yourself. I know that you will be fine after all of this.

January 23, 2005
12:45 am
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LthrNlace
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September 27, 2010
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It sounds like you have come to an understanding of what you need to do which is the most important step next to taking the action steps. Going to a meeting is a great start. Surrendering to your powerlessness and speaking with God to help you through the hard times and to heal your heart is definately important. Keep up a support system and know you can always come to this site, there are many great people on here that have helped me a lot and given wonderful support. I wish you well, keep posting! 🙂

January 23, 2005
1:02 am
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KWMike
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I am an addict and belong to NA, I have no supports through this other than this site right now, I chose not to attend meetings anymore, because there were a few members with their eyes on my girlfriend, One guy whom I feel less than, I stayed away from all possible threats, and isolated myself from my best support system, although, it is not cool to have all female friends as support when I am a man. I would have been 3.5 years clean on Feb 11, Since Nov 22 I have been struggling with pot.I stopped going to meetings because I don't know how to deal with my insecurities...........I didn't change, My clean date did.............they were right. I am not as unique as I thought.

January 23, 2005
5:25 am
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on my way
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September 29, 2010
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Some churches offer 12 Step programs, to me they are more awesome than some, but you might want to check out them. At the church I belong to, the 12 Step program is called Journey. Many NA and AA people ended up there because it worked!

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