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Just bitching
May 2, 2005
8:49 am
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kc30
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My daughter wants me to go watch her at swimming lessons (my husband signed her up and takes her weekly) I had always planned on going, until I found out his mistress also goes (she takes her kids at the same time- my daughter told me)

My husband has said numerous times "Please feel free to come to swimming or take her sometime if you want" He just failed to mention that the girlfriend would be there.

So I won't go...it's a bit too much for me emotionally right now, but it really sucks and I'm soooo tempted to make a smartass comment to him, but I won't because I've gone nearly 9 weeks being totally indifferent and don't want that to change, although I've had to really focus these past few days to stick to that.

Asshole...and to keep saying "feel free to come"...like he's setting me up for some sort of fucking ambush. Yeah, that sounds fun...my husband and the whore he's been having an affair with, pregnant me, and all 5 of our combined kids under the same roof. Really fucking healthy.

So I just told my daughter it's her special time with them, and that's why mommy doesn't go, but I'll go to all her soccer games. I'm sure she won't be scarred...I just never know what to say. She's only 4 and this stuff is just way over her head.

If it was 2 years down the road, I would go. But it's still too fresh.

Thanks for listening.
kc

May 2, 2005
9:05 am
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2bstrong
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Hi kc...

That would be a difficult parent decision. At four years old, they are reasoning. I thought your response to your little girl's request was good! Maybe you can take her swimming, just the two of you when the pool opens on Memorial Day weekend?

Stick to your no contact, kc. You've come this far--I think he is just trying to manipulate you.

2bstrong

May 2, 2005
9:29 am
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kc30
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How weird is this...my husband just called and asked me to take my daughter to swimming- he's sick. Blech...I will do it because it's my daughter...but isn't that WEIRD? That I would just bring this up and then he would call to have me take her?

You don't think he's on this board do you? haha....

so the skank will be there....yikes. I think I'll try to find someone to come with me...moral support.

May 2, 2005
9:34 am
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bonita1
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good idea.....

are you absolutely sure he is having an affair? He is still living at home with you?

May 2, 2005
9:35 am
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2bstrong
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KC--can you find a good looking man to go with you for moral support? heheheh...

May 2, 2005
9:37 am
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kc30
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Oh yes...100% positive...it's been ongoing for over a year and he lives with her now (denies it though...says he lives with her mother across the street, but he's a pathological liar) He's waffled back and forth between both of us until I finally threw him out and filed for divorce.

My kids have met her and her kids.

I may not go...I haven't decided yet. I feel like I've been setup somehow...he would have no idea that I know she's there....that came from my little girl. I wonder if he is trying to get to me...

May 2, 2005
9:39 am
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kc30
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Ha- 2b
I was just thinking the EXACT same thing...I may "borrow" one of my friend's husbands...she doesn't have to know that it's someone's husband! hee hee....the evil games we play.

May 2, 2005
10:00 am
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kc30
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I've decided NOT to go to swimming...I've made plans with a friend who has little children my daughter's age...we're doing pizza, ice cream, playground...that'll take the sting out of no swimming for her.

I think he's trying to set me up somehow. Wouldn't common courtesy be to give me a heads-up that the woman who broke up my family will be there too?

I'm so glad now that I know she goes to swimming as well...I used to wish my daughter didn't tell me these things because it hurts so badly...now I can see it was a blessing in disguise. We'll have a fun night with friends rather than a stressful night in the same quarters as the psycho whore (but I'm not bitter)

kc

May 2, 2005
10:24 am
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Deena
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KC...how old are the kids? I have little ones too. Somedays they are the only thing that keeps me going. I feel bad for them (my kids) for having to uproot them again cuz of the situation. How did yours adjust?

May 2, 2005
10:32 am
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kc30
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Kids are 4, 18 months, and I'm 6 months pregnant.

The baby doesn't know any different- he find it hard to change hands (person to person) and gets quite upset, but usually my husband gets them from daycare on visitation days, so he doesn't have to go through that often.

My little girl had a tough time at first, but I found that once I felt better about things, she did better. She is great now...really thriving...kids are so resilient (I used to hate it when people said that at first, but now I know it's true)

The best advice I have received is to make sure that I take care of myself and my needs first- it's like on an airplane, when they tell you to put your mask on first before you put your kids’ on. It’s true- they are like little sponges…when I am stressed or upset, they act out. When I’m happy and laid back, so are they.

We have a lot of fun together. It's a lot of work, but they are wonderful.

kc

May 2, 2005
12:06 pm
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Rasputin
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KC30,

I am sure you are having lots of hard time with this ordeal.

I would recommend you to follow your heart, by not going where your hubby and his g/f is there. It will only deepen your wounds.

I love reading your posts. I find you so admirable, courageous, inspiring, wise lady. I am keeping you in my daily prayers with the others.

Relx, pray a lot, and play song of the Sweet Beautiful Shania Twain "I am having a Party." ROFL

Remember sweetie, people reap what they sow, or as they say what goes around comes around.

Yes, I agree with moral support of friends, and here, take advantage of whatever you can.

(((HUGS & PRAYERS)))

May 2, 2005
3:16 pm
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Foggy1
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Hi Kc30,

Have a great time at the party. I admire your courage through this and am sorry how your husband treats you.

I can't imagine a man with 2 kids and a pregnant wife behaving that way.

I agree with Rasputin, Karma will take care of this. Or what do they say, payback is a bitch- is that right?

Foggy

May 2, 2005
8:18 pm
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Deena
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KC...
I know excatly how difficult it is with the kids. Mine are 5 and 7 and recently since the jerk left we had to move back in with my parents (which is a situation in itself) Since he left me with nothing I had no choice. It's been difficult for them, having their whole life uprooted all at one time. He's NOT their father. They have a pretty good father so it really makes me mad that some man did this to us. Now they will be in different schools, daycare and all new friends and environments. I know we all do the best we can but you know...its very hard. I like chatting with all of you. You all give me strength.

May 3, 2005
12:04 am
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Shameonme
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KC 30- I think we all like reading your posts. U are wise beyond your years. Your children are very lucky to have such a great mother. Not so sure some of us others would have made the decision you did regarding the swimming lesson.

May 3, 2005
2:16 am
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bonita1
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Heck, woman, you are 6 mos. pregnant! You made the best decision for you and your kids. You don't need the added stress of a "situation." Too much stress is bad for the baby.

You keep hanging tough....karma....yes!

But, I like "payback is a bitch!!"

luv,

bonita

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