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Just a thought ... Are we emotionally sick people because we don't have that person now, but what about the other half of the world they have someone that they love/been with for a while?
October 27, 2007
11:18 pm
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lissy1208
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Just a thought ... Are we sick because we have no one that wants us now or are people that are with someone sick because most of their life revolves around them...

This is basically everyone in the world so who is healhty? Are we better being off alone? Then, We will hopefully learn to be happy with ourselves and it won't really matter who is in your life. How many people do you know that are actually like that? I don't.

I'm hoping to become one of the first.

October 27, 2007
11:26 pm
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razor
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Interesting thought!
I have been thinking just that thing because I have finally decided it is okay for me to be alone for right now.
I had been trying to tell myself this for awhile but I really didn't believe it.
I think the whole world is codependent to some degree.
I'll have to think about this some more.
It will be interesing to hear what others have to say about this.

October 28, 2007
8:13 am
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bonni
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our struggles with codependency are not as much about our SO as the way we negotiate any relationship.

my relationship with my dh is not codependent at its core. I have been codependent with several of my bosses and with colleagues. I don't know that any of my major romantic relationships have been codependent, its been mostly my friendships.

I think the root is in our culture and how we are conditioned to cater to the needs of others at the expense of our Selves. At the core, it is not the person we are codependent with, but our thoughts about the person and how those thoughts impact our behavior.

bonni

October 28, 2007
9:04 am
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Rasputin
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Intriguing and smart thread & question. Kudos lissy!!!

I believe the world makes us codeps. The antidote of being codep is Honesty and Integrity with yourself as well as with others whenever needed or urgent. I grew up in a codep family and despite its dysfunction, I maintained my distance from them while having a good relationship with most of them.

I always felt there was something wrong in my family of origin, yet could not decipher or demystify it. When I acted in an honest way or confronted someone in my family, I was condemened or punished either by my dad, mom or even other sibling.

It is a long & lonely journey. That's why we need to be armed with faith in HP, hope, kind nurturing people. We should absolutely Avoid abusive, controlling, bossy, addictive friends at all costs.

No lissy~ Not all married people or folks living together have healthy relationships. In fact, many of them are either unhappy, too dependent on their partner, or just too scared to separate. Some are simply in denial about their problems.

Those who are in happy union are working hard to maintain their happy marriatge. We are healing codep should strive for this minority... Marrying the right person & working hard on our marriage, going to marriage counselling and do all we can to have a Quality relationship.

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