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just a thank you
August 9, 2001
2:03 pm
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sue2001
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September 24, 2010
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to cici,molly,gingerleigh,ranmar,janes,and every one else... Thank You all for the support and back up that I have been looking for... I have moved from my home town and I don't have any of my own family to help me with any thing... So you guys have been sort of a life line... I get stressed sometimes because it is hard for me to live one day at a time... you guys kind of ground me.... I have read almost all of the threads and responded to some... I hope that I don't hurt more than help... I am still learning myself.... This is the safest(sp) feeling place that I have been in a while.... I will continue to come here for a while I am sure... I have learned one thing already that I for sure did not know and w/out trying to diagnose myself I know something is wrong and I have to fix it... Because it can physically kill you did ya'll know that... A mental illness can cause your body to break down and deteriate(sp again) I need a dictionary 🙂 to the point of actual death... I WON'T DIE OF THIS. What ever it is.... I want to share with you guys something I wrote down the night after I found this sight... and decided to seek help...I am typing this exactly the way I wrote it that night..

I feel like I am shutting down
Like I am purposfully turning
off lights-But something is stopping me.
It sounds like screams some times the louder she screams the quicker I want to turn the lights out. But she isn't only screaming she is crying those hard sobs taht takes your breath.I wnat to know why so I save the last light it is still on I know that she is afraid of the dark..but I am afraid of the light.I want to help her I want to hold her but if I do I have to let go and I can't! I can't!

and I don't even know what it is that I can't let go of.....!!!

I wrote that on aug 4 .....the day that I began to know I had to heal... Sue

August 9, 2001
3:04 pm
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gingerleigh
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Congratulations, Sue. The absolute hardest step is the first one, admitting that you aren't happy and that something is wrong and then vowing to do something about it. Keep on posting, because when you come here to get help and support, you often end up giving help and support to other people too, and that helps you heal, which then helps you heal others, and so on and so on and so on...

(((Sue)))

August 9, 2001
3:41 pm
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sue2001
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ty

August 9, 2001
8:42 pm
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Molly
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Its kind of like what Cici posted on life. Its those damn struggles, that we want to hide from, that makes us who we are. Like the cocoon story of the butterfly, he must struggle, to get out of the cocoon, to fly. Or the term wounded healer, how can you ever reach out to some one else, if you don't understand. the healing just like Gingerleigh states, comes with the giving, strange how that works. So proud of you for BEING, its not easy. So don't be afraid, just love instead.

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