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Journal Question for November 6
November 6, 2007
9:32 am
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jastypes
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5. In general, describe what you think your family thought of you. - Childhood

a. Did you feel your parents' attitude toward you was different than other
parents toward their children?
b. How old were you at the birth of brothers and sisters?
c. How did you feel about the new arrivals?
d. Were either of your parents sick enough to need hospitalizations?
e. Were you separated from any important family member?
f. Was there fear or guilt about this separation...in other words, did you feel
responsible?

Not at all. I was 6 when my little sister was born. I was thrilled to have a baby sister. I took her everywhere with me for years. She was my best friend. No hospitalizations. My dad left us when I was 8 years old. Oh boy, yes, I felt responsible. I felt like I wasn't ENOUGH to keep my father home. I thought he wanted sons rather than daughters. (I got that idea because he left us to live with another woman.)

November 6, 2007
9:56 am
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Randomwomen2
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Growing up I knew something was different I just didnt know what it was. I felt more as a slave than a child. I didnt know other parents treated there kids differently because every time I went to a friends house they would treat me different like they couldn't trust me.

My mother had bad asthma so she sometimes would have to go to the hospital but it was really sad because my father would refuse to take her. She would have to find another way to get there.

I had no other siblings by my mother and ex step father.

November 6, 2007
10:05 am
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Skigirl
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My parents were divorced when I was 8 years old. My mother did a good job of keeping us involved with other families. We were always going to someones house to play with their kids and to have dinner, etc. My father had no contact with us after the divorce (until right before he died). I am the baby of the family. I have a brother who is one year older than me. We fought most of our growing up years, and now he lives on the other side of the country. I prefer it that way. He is a very naughty person and his children are into trouble all the time. I'm not sure if I felt responsible for the divorce, but I did feel unloved by my father. What kind of dad just up and leaves his kids and never wants to see them again?????

November 6, 2007
10:06 am
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robbie2007
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I think they thought I was lazy. I think they thought I was an attention seeker. I think they thought I didnt try very hard. I think they thought I was "different".

a. I'm not sure

b. I have 2 brothers and a sister who were born before me. I was 9 1/2 when my little sister was born.

c. at first I was excited. but my sister was 2 months early and that day i came home from school and instead of mom, grandma was there and mom was at the hospital. i was scared. later, when my sister was about 2, we found out she had cerebral palsy. I resented her for taking my mommy. i was severely jealous and mean to her.

d. neither parent was ever hospitalized when i was a kid. (just when my sister was born).

e. there was never any separation.

f. No

November 6, 2007
10:14 am
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robbie2007
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jas where are you getting the journal questions? ive been wanting to journal for awhile now and this will help me get started. thank you for posting.

November 6, 2007
11:05 am
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jastypes
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The questions come from a website:

http://www.cyberrecovery.net/4.....guide.html

November 6, 2007
11:15 am
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robbie2007
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thank you

November 6, 2007
11:19 am
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netsirk
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Growing up I never felt like I was good enough. Nothing I did was enough or done well enough. When I was voted co-captain of my high school soccor team it was "Why not captain, you need to work harder." I was 2nd in my high school class, again "You should have applied yourself more and been 1st". Nothing was good enough for my parents.
a)I'm not sure, but I didn't feel "loved" like other kids would describe.
b)I'm the oldest. I was 2 1/2 when my mom lost a baby 8 months into her preg. I was 4 when my brother was born. 51/2 when my mom miscarried again and 6 when my sister was born.
c)Not sure.
d) My mom was in the hospital each time she had a baby or miscarried. After I was an adult she was in teh hospital for breast cancer.
e) My dad was in jail for a year.
f) no, I just felt like I had to take care of my mom and siblings and hold it all together.

November 6, 2007
12:50 pm
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Tuna
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I felt love,and I knew from the bottom of my heart that my mom and dad both loved me, However, they just have a different way of showing it. Maybe not the way I thought they should. I am the middle child, so even though, In hindsight, I probably did not get alot attention, I did not have any problems of making friends at all! I am really laid back, so when my mom had my twin brothers, I wasn't jealous at all, I just became a momma hen instead.

November 6, 2007
2:01 pm
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Codi202
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As I got older i felt that I was disliked by my mother. One day she had an accident and I called for help. The medics arrived and one noticed how I stiffened up whenever she spoke to me. He asked if I wanted to live someplace else. I said no, I was so attached to home.
My parents seperated when I was very young. I cried and didn't understand. that made my mother angry. My brother got into trouble and was given the ultimatum to go into service and I was stuck alone with her. My father was useless as a parent.
I thought that I was "daddy's little girl" but I don't think he really cared as much as I believed.
I was shocked to see how healthy families operate. I thought my situation was better than my best friends at least. But it was far from healthy.

November 6, 2007
3:46 pm
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It No Longer Matters
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I really am liking the daily journal question. I did not answer yester
day because 1. I couldn't and 2. I wouldn't.

I am an only child. Well my mother had a son that was raised by my grandparents but I didn't know the whole truth until I was a teenager. People would sneak around and ask me "Now, just how are you related to Hirsch? Now your grandparents adopted him right?" Looking back it was a very nasty mean thing for poeple to do to a child.

One of my earliest memories is sitting on my swingset wishing I was someone else but realizing that I was already me and new how to deal with it and if I were someone else then someone else would have to be me and wouldn't know how to deal with it.

I don't think I ever formed a close bond with my mother. I think I terrified her. I don't think she thought she knew how to take care of a baby. I did seek her approval and did whatever she told me to do, took the classes she told me to take, and was friends with the people she wanted me to be friends with. She later caused me a lot of pain and suffering in a small private school.

My dad was the 2nd oldest of 12 so babies were old hat for him. I went everywhere with him when he was off from work. I remember being very close to him. My mother put a wedge between us for a long time but we eventually got close again. When he had to divorce her she accused him of incest with me which was not true. She was going to have me dragged into court and have to answer questions but his lawyer kept me from having to do it and many years later I introduced myself to the man who was her lawyer. He couldn't believe I was her daughter and apologized to me. It took him a while to realize that she was crazy. Thankfully he did realize it and did not pursue charging my dad with incest.
I have not seen my mother in over 17 yrs.
I really don't know how my family thought about me. I never was close to any of them.

Bitsy

November 6, 2007
5:34 pm
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Tiger Trainer
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I was the baby of my family. My brothers thought it was fun to have sister. they consider me to be young and silly. it's actually rather nice to have few people believe that about you at my age.
My dad doted on me has his little girl.

November 6, 2007
8:21 pm
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osualum
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I just started reading about CODEP this week and found this site. I like the daily questions; but this is the first time I am responding. I never thought my childhood was responsible for my actions today, but I see after this question, how my past does play a role in my today.

I remember feeling loved and cared for as a child, but, I also felt a huge responsibility to care for my younger sister. My parents met, conceved me then got married in a matter of 6 months. My sister came along when I was three. My parents were both abusive, to each other, alholics and divorced when I was 6. My father committed suicide when I was 10.

I always told myself I didn't miss my dad b/c I didn't know what a good dad was. I miss the idea of a dad, caretaker, big shoulders etc.

Because my mom raised us alone, I was promoted to babysitter very young and held responsibilites at 10 that I havn't given my 16 year old daughter.

I have many issues and I am thankfully blessed beyond measure; but my biggest fear is that I don't pass on the CODEP to my two children.

Trying to stop the cycle...

November 6, 2007
8:51 pm
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bonni
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Both of my parents find me annoying. my sisters think i'm a spoiled princess. At the same time, they do love me. I just don't think they like me very much. I can tell though that they each want my approval, in their own way. which is odd.

bonni

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