Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
JKL has questions about a parents history of abuse affecting children
April 19, 2009
8:32 pm
Avatar
jkl
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am a 25 woman year old with a partner and mom who were both sexually abused as children. As I've been thinking about getting more involved with my boyfriend I started to look into sexual abuse issues and what partners/friends etc of survivors can do to help or how to approach the subject without being insensitive. What I came across instead is that I have got huge issues with sexuality myself (vaginal pain, abuse fantasies, difficulty with orgasm, feeling diisgusting and dirty about sex and masturbating). I have gone through much counseling for depression etc the question of my own sexual abuse has come up. I never really gave it much weight as I thought obviously I knew I had not been abused. Now Reading up and looking at my past history of how I deal with sexual situations and my own power I am wondering. But a big question I have is has anyone heard of someone taking on the issues/symptoms of a parent who has maybe not really dealt with their own abuse? Even before they ever heard of their parents' abuse? Because I have had some of these symptoms since my early teens (perhaps earlier) and only knew of my mom's abuse a couple of years ago. I am very confused and I want to help myself and heal but am also finding it very hard to support myself when I feel like I wasn't abused so why should I have these problems. i feel its my fault sometimes and all in my head but recently I've realized it's not. Any help would be great. Thanks

April 20, 2009
11:14 am
Avatar
Randomwomen2
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Well the vaginal pain abuse fantasies, difficulty with orgasm and feeling disgusted about sex are all signs of sexual abuse I really have no idea how to get all of those with out being abused Im sure there is away I just dont know it. As for your boyfriend just be a listening ear but it does need to be discussed before you get deeper cause you need to know where he is at in his healing cause if he hasnt started you should probably wait on the sexual aspect until he can get better.

April 20, 2009
2:30 pm
Avatar
jkl
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks for the response. I am just feeling a little alone about this. I feel like I have no right to feel the way I do when I feel nothing's been done to me and two people very close to me have been hurt. Maybe I am deeply in denial and don't know it. I know this is an unhealthy way to look at things. I want to talk to my boyfriend about my stuff but he's away right now at an academy for 6 months and really busy and I don't want to burden him or bring up things that might be painful for him to deal with. i am very supportive of him but he is alone where he is right now and with no extra time to get help if he needs it. We are already sexual with eachother but we are aware that we both have problems and have I think been supportive of eachother so far but haven't really discussed to mucch what we've each done to heal. It's a big can of worms. I just wasn't aware of how far reaching my stuff was. And I'm a little freaked out trying to stay grounded. just started getting therapy but outside of that feeling alone. It is nice to have this forum to at least vent on. Also I have a kid (he has kids too). And I wonder if I was affected by my moms abuse will my child be affected by how I am and that is very scary and unnerving. I just want to be a sexually healthy person in control of my life and in a good relationship and a good mother. I think this is a start. Thanks again for responding.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
36
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111020
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38570
Posts: 714311
Newest Members:
cosmo789, bravelassie, Chloe12, future life, austinjacob, Hadity1
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information