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Jenny's angry.
October 11, 1999
9:39 am
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cabin
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My teen daughter Jenny has been uncontrollably angry. She is disrupting our entire household. She has been in therapy.
I really wish she would die or just go away. Ihaven't told that to anyone, but, family members have hinted to same feelings.

October 11, 1999
9:42 am
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Brittainy
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Hello Cabin, have you thought that Jenny could be going through a natural stage of growing up. I was quite uncontrolable in my teens, maybe there is some thing bothering her that she can not talk about. You could suggest that she seeks out therapy again. If you want to talk to me I am willing to listen. Keep calm. Good luck

October 11, 1999
10:02 am
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Jaskid
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Cabin,

That seems so sad to me that you would wish your teen daughter would die or just go away. In this life all of our trials are temporary. Feelings, emotions, actions, words... it all passes... Just look at her in a different way...Not a girl who is making your life hell...but a girl who is desperately struggling with some deep issues inside of her. Being a teen is the one of the hardest times in a person's life...Emotions are extreme and feel extreme. One day she might grow up a be a beautiful person. She needs support, maybe counseling, but most of all her higher power to heal the turmoil that is inside of her. Don't give up on her or she will give up on herself. With God, All things are possible! Get on your knees and pray.
Dig deep in your soul and go to that quiet, still place the lies within you, see it as a base to untangle yourself from the doubt, indecision, fear, guilt and anger you are feeling. Miracles begin to happen when we sit still and begin to look within. Let those miracles be there for you today my friend. Let joy and peace rule in your heart and this will give you the strength to deal with your daughter in a new light. Find out why your daughter is so angry? Listen to her... comfort her... give her hope!

Jaskid

October 11, 1999
10:09 am
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cabin
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Brittany,

I was thrilled someone replied so quickly! Thank you!
Yes, I have been telling myself that she is just a sullen teenager. That is what my sister tells me, too.
But, these screaming fits are making my younger daughter physically ill. There aren't doing a lot for me, either. She is soooo lazy. She won't come home till Midnight or after. She is always asking me for money so her and her boyfriend can go to the movies. My husband says its worth it to get rid of her for a while. (Boyfriend is broke, new college student.) I am thinking about letting her get a part-time job, but, I worry about her grades. She HAS to go to college! There are no jobs to be gotten without it anymore. Do you think there are self-esteem problems? I mean, around here she acts like she is a queen! But, it is probably a different story at school. If she would just talk to me!! It is soooo frustrating!!

October 11, 1999
10:13 am
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cabin
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Jaskid, I don't really wish she would die...I just don't want to deal with her anymore. I only think about life before she was this way... we took vacations as a family, and now can't even go across town together. She has to sit in the front, she controlls the radio, we eat where she wants too, etc. I wonder what kind of message that sends to her younger sister and brother. My husband says if it keeps her quiet, let her do it. Ooooh, I just tore more of my hair out!

October 11, 1999
10:27 am
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Jaskid
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Cabin,
That's not good to give her everything that she wants! Explain this to her husband... He is teaching her that being selfish is ok...WRONG!!! Your daughter has a deep anger and resentment that is blocking her from feeling love. But guess what? She can be taught how to love. She does not just need love, she also needs discipline! This will give her security. Sit down with you husband... If he continues to allow her to act any way she wants... things will only get worse, much worse! How old is she?

Jaskid

October 11, 1999
10:28 am
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Jaskid
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I meant your husband.

October 11, 1999
12:48 pm
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J. C.
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Hi Cabin. It's time to teach her responsibility of her own life. Maybe if a part time job is out of the question, you can come up with a reasonable amount of money for her as a weekly allowance. You can give it to her once a week and no more any other time of week. It'll teach her to use her money responsible and cut out the things that aren't worth it. You should also consider laying down boundaries for her. Make curfew or no allowance. Give her chores...or better yet, make her responsible for doing her own laundry. Buy her a journal to write in. That can be the only thing in your home that is truly hers. Her attitude is a sign of getting her and you prepared for her to leave...go on to college or just move out. She needs to know she can count on you no matter what. When you talk to her try not to let your feelings get involved...try to be more matter-of-fact with her. It will be hard, but not as hard as giving her everything she wants and booting her out the door so she can be disrespectful towards you. She wants to be the boss of her...she wants to be an adult, treat her more as an equal rather than a child. Be her friend rather than her mother. Perhaps the counseling would be more helpful if the two or three of you were getting relationship counseling together. I was watching a new show called "Get Real" with my mother a few weeks ago. That was when she told me that these kids were doing exactly what all teen agers do. Teenagers torment their parents. They push them over the edge to get what they want. This was what she told me. She should know after raising 7 kids...the youngest is 16. Boy don't I have a lot to look forward to.

lots of ((hugs)) and blessings~JC

October 11, 1999
4:11 pm
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Brittainy
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Hi Cabin, I'm so glad you've had some replys. Please keep calm, try not to let Jenny know you're upset, if she senses this she may 'act out' more. You can always talk to me. Maybe Jenny could see someone at school or college as education is very important. In time she will probably turn out to be a lovely daughter. Take care

October 11, 1999
4:12 pm
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Brittainy
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Hi Cabin, I'm so glad you've had some replys. Please keep calm, try not to let Jenny know you're upset, if she senses this she may 'act out' more. You can always talk to me. Maybe Jenny could see someone at school or college as education is very important. In time she will probably turn out to be a lovely daughter. Take care

October 11, 1999
4:47 pm
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nikihish
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Hello. I hope things get better between you and your daughter. I am 17, and as you mentioned on my thread about your daughter, my boyfriend is practically my only friend. I hope Jenny does not find out what you have said on this thread about her, you wanting her to die. I understand that you did not mean it, but if she were to see that it may make her worse. I used to not talk to my parents, I disobeyed them, and I ruled over their lives practically, at least that is what they say. My sister called my school counselor because she was worried about me and the school called my parents and said that I need to go see a psychiatrist, this made my parents realize there was a problem, we get along now. Jenny probably wants someone to reach out to her and show thier love and concern. That is all I needed. Yet this might not be what she wants. There must be communication within your family. You should talk to your husband and work out a plan to talk to your daughter and make her understand that you really care about her and figure out what her problems are and try to understand what she needs and wants. Do not yell and argue with her just tell her straight out what you want from her. I believe this is what you should start to do, I am not saying to do it because I do not know Jenny, this is just a suggestion. I wish you the best of luck.

October 11, 1999
5:00 pm
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Anonymous
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GREAT ADVICE DEAR NIK,AND I AGREE PLEASE DO NOT LET HER SEE OR KNOW "THE WANTING TO DIE STOFF" THATS PRETTY HARSH AND CHILDREN ARE VERY PERCEPTIVE PERHAPS U CAN ARRANGE FOR SOME COUNSERLLING FOR THE 2 OF YOU SO THAT THESE FEELINGS CAN BE LOOKED AT IN CLOSER DETAIL. BLESSINGS

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