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Jenn
November 12, 2006
5:32 pm
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benmarco
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My mother and sister have helped me and my husband out financially for some time now. My husband was laid off twice for two years and we were having difficulty making it(we went into financial debt). Plus, he has a form of muscular dystrophy. Anyway, we were given assistance. My sister started us on a budget and I stopped sending it to her two months ago. I am now sending her my budget. When our cars broke down (1200 in two weeks), my mother and sister said that I needed to follow the budget. I felt like maybe I needed to form boundaries because my life wasn't mine any more. When I tried to set some boundaries with my mom, she told me that I had no right to boundaries because I screwed up. Does anyone have advice? I am truly trying my best to get out of debt, but trying to have a little distance. I am following the budget, not taking advantage of anyone helping me out, etc.

November 12, 2006
6:47 pm
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Jenni
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I'm not sure if this was addressed to me, or if your name is Jenn, also.

But nonetheless, I feel for you. It seems you're in quite a bind. It's difficult when one feels somewhat obligated to another when they are helping you, so to speak. It probably almost feels as though they have control over you.

I'm not sure how you would put some distance between you and your family, at this time. I guess the best you could do right now, is just stick it out until you are back on your feet. However, this doesn't mean that they are at liberty to make all of your decisions, or to run your life. If it becomes too much of an issue, to where it becomes out of control, you could just politely let them know that if this is going to be a problem for them, you will go elsewhere for assistance, such as a financial advisor or someone else whom you trust.

I'm sorry you're in this position. I could only imagine how difficult this must be for you.

Hang in there, and hopefully there will be others to come along here with some more advice.

Take care,

Jen

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