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Jealous husband
January 18, 2006
11:42 pm
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LadyGP
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My husband become unglued when I come in contact for any reason someone who he feels threatened by which is just about any man who is not related to me. I told him that I am married to him and he is the one that I love, but this does not seem to compute. We are separated at the present time, because of a drug addiction he is not getting treatment for. When I think back, his jealousy and insecurity is another thing that was making me unhappy. I love him, but I cannot deal with his issues of jealousy and insecurity. I have friends, Church members and family friends who I have known for years. I try to let him know that I have nothing to hide. I want my friends to be his friends. What do I do? How do I handle this? I feel that this is an issue he has to deal with.

January 19, 2006
5:41 am
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JEZZY
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I think you are going the right thing be telling him you love him and also I think it is him who has the problem of your friends. I think he is being very protective over you through jelousy.

January 19, 2006
6:55 am
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CAMER
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you could always introduce your male friends to him, that way he can meet them....he should understand that you love him, and not feel threatened by another man.

Alot of these issues, jealousy and insecurity is work he needs to do on his own.

(((camer0))

January 19, 2006
7:27 am
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delicate
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I do truly understand and I wish that I could say that it gets better, if it does, not in my lifetime. My father was insanely jealous, my life and my mothers was destroyed and I am affected all my life from it. My second marriage was a man who was so jealous I couldnt even look up in a restaurant when any stranger entered, that would mean I wanted him. No matter what you do to convince them you cannot cure this, their insecuity has changed their thinking pattern. In his mind, everyone wanted me and believe me, I am no beauty queen, and bed partners, oh to him, I had everyone. He is in prison now and it took five years for me to stop obeying him from there. I always felt like he was still there watching every move. I am now going to divorce him (he has 3 more years) and finally have allowed myself to meet a nice man. But we allow this to happen, at first we think its cute, he really cares, but we dont know whats really brewing in their mind. Good luck, be strong, its not you.

January 19, 2006
8:39 am
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hopeful for change
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My ex was like that to. I use to feel like he thought I was a complete slut or something. If we were at a gas station and someone looked at me, I thought he was going to beat them up. I ended up looking at the ground alot, just to try to avoid all of that. He never changed. I have to admit even though I thought it was ridiculous, I think I did get a little something out of it. Like In some sick way it made me feel like this guy really loves me. But that's not love. Now I am with someone the complete opposite, and if he showed some sort of jealousy sometime it would be nice. It's like he completely doesn't care. Strange.

January 19, 2006
9:25 pm
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taj64
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A certain amount of jealousy is ok but too much is unhealthy and will end up affecting you. He is being manipulative and controlling. You have a right to have friends and spend time with friends. A wife deserves to have her own identity outside a marriage.

January 20, 2006
12:25 am
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Worried_Dad
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Expressing jealousy and the resulting anger are only appropriate when someone is being unfaithful in some way. At all other times, it is a form of abuse. It's as simple as that.

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