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Jealous and venting
June 24, 2004
1:00 pm
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wishes
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Well. Ick has a new girl. A new someone to take care of him because he can't take care of himself.

I am so jealous. Not jealous that he is with someone else - she can have him. But jealous because he has time to date, to meet women, to find someone. I don't have time to date. I wish I could, I've been in a lonely spurt - and I know it passes - but it's hard right now. I wish he was reliable enough to take the kids once in a while, but I'd never ever let him. If he were reliable enough, we would still be married.

But it is soooo not fair that he has all this free time to date, and meet people and have sex. *sigh* But who said life was fair.

June 24, 2004
1:09 pm
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sixfootblonde
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But it is so fair that you have the children because their young years are invaluable and irreplaceable. The lives you've created, to get to share them and watch them grow....what I'd give to have children to enjoy every day. This man is missing out on more than he can know. All for what? For some woman? You are enjoying a love that is pure and making memories your children will remember in years to come. He's .... having sex? Who cares?

You are blessed. You are a mother and the man you will meet that will accept your children and love all of you, will be a keeper. Not just someone to pick up and do what your ex is. Hold onto that, and hold onto these years cuz they will go fast!

It's really all about perspective. But the way you feel is understandable.

June 24, 2004
1:18 pm
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wishes
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I know. I know. And usually I can keep that in perspective because it's true. He has nothing, and I have everything. He is missing so much not having any time with them. A couple hours on some weekends is nothing. I would die if they weren't around all the time. I cherish my time with them, especially because they're almost teenagers (ugh!) They are so wonderful and fun and sweet and caring and sensitive. Okay - I'll stop šŸ™‚

It's just hard sometimes. I guess we all just need a break once in a while.

June 24, 2004
1:20 pm
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wishes
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And thanks for listening. It helps.

June 24, 2004
2:05 pm
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sixfootblonde
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Hey no prob, I've sure vented on here enough. I think anyone in your shoes would be going thru the same feelings.

Almost teenagers? Look out...soon you'll be sending them to their dad to share the joy, you'll be laughing knowing that without exposure to them he won't know what to do with teenage mood swings. That will be fun to watch! šŸ™‚

June 24, 2004
3:05 pm
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wishes
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Oh it will indeed!! heheheee!

That is the one thing about them being teenagers I'm looking forward to.

June 24, 2004
3:10 pm
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trot
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I am a man with primary custody of his 12 year old stepson. He is mine in every way but his last name. He IS My son. I understand your frustration because my ex bought a house as soon as I was forced out. I rented a condo. She goes on business trips all the time. She has every weekend free and I raise our son. Don't get me wrong, I'm very thankful for my time with him and don't want that to change. I've been able to date some but not much. and for someone who hasn't dated in over 11 years I've found the game has changed. I've ruined two potentially promising relationships with my insecurities and codependence by unintentionally rushing things too quickly. Yes, we have our children but I too understand your lonliness. I'm continuing to pray that God sends me and Angel to love me and my son.

June 24, 2004
3:17 pm
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wishes
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Me too. Me too. I wouldn't change the time with the kids for anything. It's the best thing I have done with my life. šŸ™‚ However, it would be nice to see a grown-up movie once in a while......

But what will be will be. I hope your angel finds you. And I hope mine finds me too. Someday.

So, the game has changed? I would love to talk with you about that sometime....

June 24, 2004
3:38 pm
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Anonymous
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Ick is a jerk anyways, and besides, you have more than him just personality wise and morally, and everything else. He is a icky icky person hence the name "ick" and I am glad he has found someone else, yeah it sucks but let someone else deal with his crap. And in the end, he will still have the same issues and problmes as always.

June 24, 2004
3:40 pm
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trot
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Yes, I think the game has changed. 6 years!?!? WOW, My divorce was final the 1st of this month. It may not be very manly to admit it but I'm very lonely. I miss the companionship fo having someone in my life. I realize that I have some issues to work on within myself but I still keep hoping. As far as the game is concerned, I was in my early to mid 20's when I met my ex. Dating at that stage is still just a long extention of High School. Now at 37 I have found that women are much more independent than I ever realized. They have had to be to survive. I respect them for that. I don't always know what to say or what to do and the e-dating thing was a total bust. Maybe dating did'nt change as much as I did. I don't know. I've been over my ex for a long time and have forgiven her for what she did. However, some days I still get a little angry that I'm having to do the teen-age dating thing again at 37. Does this make sense?

June 24, 2004
5:23 pm
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wishes
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Aces: Too true! Thanks. šŸ™‚

Trot: Yes, it makes sense. It's also where I am. I tried the e-dating thing a couple years ago and it was a bust. As for face to face dating...I never know what to say either, so I usually don't say anything - just run screaming.... šŸ™‚ And I totally refuse to do the 'teenage dating thing' I'm not sure I can do it now - not sure if I want to. Not like that. I'm older now (37 too) and I'm just not into the games. Another factor is the kids. I don't want to introduce them to anyone unless....unless it's serious. So here I am. And here I'll be šŸ™‚

June 25, 2004
8:00 am
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trot
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wishes, I keep finding it more and more encouraging that there are others out there like me and going through the same things that I am. Unfortuneately, I have introduced my son to two different women in the last 4 months. The last one just dumped me two days ago and he liked her. This single again stuff really stinks and I now know why God intended marriage. (I'm not cut out for dating!!!!!!) Anyway, you dance with the one who brung ya'. I told my son last night that one day God would send us a woman who could really love us and stick around for all the good times to come. Like all kids, deep in his heart he hopes that his mother and I would work things out but that will never happen. I guess I'll keep looking although I'm real picky. I don't know we'll see how it goes. Talk to ya' soon.

June 25, 2004
11:22 am
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annie2
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i know what you are going through. I cannot understand why my ex has all these women after him. He is drug-addicted to vicodin and on the verge of bankruptcy. And he started dating someone and I got real jealous. I am successful financially but not that great looking and as I get older (now 53) there just aren't that many men taking an interest in me. Anyway, I missed him so much, I called and went over to visit and now he wants me back. I know he is no good, but I am so afraid I will be alone forever... My friends say better to be alone, some days I am ok with it. And other days, I just cry and crave the physical touch of human companionship.

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