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Jasmine
July 30, 2000
7:25 am
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Jasmine
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September 30, 2010
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hi, there, if any of you still remember me. 🙂

I haven't posted for long. Simply reading others these days. I like reading from the threads here as this is a good place for us to 'yell'/ to pour out bad feelings; sometimes, I do feel lucky that I don't have the worst problems compared with others posting here.... I was very depressed when I first post my sadness on this site, and usually I feel unhappy everytime I post, so I don't really want to post. But these days, strange feelings come up again.

We broke up at the end of Jan, he didn't contact me since then. Though I said, I miss him a lot, both of us are like avoiding each other. I thought he will never want to talk to me anymore. One morning, I switched on my computer at work as usual, all of a sudden, I received an e-mail from him. My brain went blank. I looked at the screen showing the Inbox with one of the message from him. His name was in my mail box. Is it just an old message that I forgot to delete.....no, it's a name in bold, meaning a new unread message. Not old one. I dunno. I just look at the screen and did nothing. Then I logout. without reading the new mail. I continue to work. Until later of the day, when I am free, I login and read it. he told me about his recent life, his father's condition, and he asked me to reply him if I am not angry with him. I replied, then he sent me another e-mail telling me more about him in detail: what he's doing these several days, his coming new job interview, his career plan, his father and also his holiday plan in Oct....Later I replied again. my reply to him sounds clam, but in fact, (I can't hide from myself) I feel strange, I don't know how to describe this feelings, but I feel like sth swirling deep in my heart, stirring up old memories. *sigh****** I feel very stupid. I don't know how to deal with his e-mails......... I don't even know what exactly I should say to him. I don't know how to face him. I mean, why should I feel this strange, I don't really need to see him anyway. but this disturbing feeling is difficult to put up with........ *sigh************ Friends, what do you think?

August 5, 2000
2:06 am
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lost soul
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September 24, 2010
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Hi Jasmine

It sounds like a romatic movie to me. I know how you feel. Really, I can feel your emotions when you received his mail.
so, how is it now? did he mail to you again? or call you?

Being in love is the most beautiful things but remember that reality is sometimes different.

I love to dream since young. I love fairy tales, that's why I look for,dream of and hope that I will find my Mr. Right. But I failed!!! & I failed & I falied!!!!!!!!!

I can only dream of, & feel it when I watch movie, but in real life I never had a real "Prince Charming"

You knew my story, that's the "real world"

Nevertheless, I still love to dream.................

August 5, 2000
12:13 pm
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Jasmine
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September 30, 2010
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lost soul,

dreaming soothes a lot. it gives us a lot of hope so that we can survive the cruelty of the real world. but we must not only dream, we got to face reality too.

my story isn't romantic at all. I feel like we're in two rooms next to each other, separated by one door. neither of us dare to open the door, we live our own life in our room trying not to think about the others but in the mean time wondering what's happening in the other room. Then one day, a mail posted to me. We exchanged several mail. he didn't call. he's busy preparing his interviews for new jobs. Those interviews are very important for his career. I don't want to disturb him in this period, so I dropped only a line or two....... However, I am not so clam, I may appear clam handling these mails. but I am not. He came, left, return, but left again. He left when I trust him the most. I had never think that he would give up so easily. So, when his message pop up again, I can't help feeling the fear. yes, I fear. FEAR. although, there is nothing happening between us now. but I can't help it.

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