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"I've had enough Counseling to last a lifetime!"
October 3, 2009
10:39 pm
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Worried_Dad
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Alternately, "I've had enough therapy to last a lifetime!"

Has anyone ever heard that phrase before?

October 3, 2009
11:05 pm
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sdesigns
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Hey WD: Is that how it feels to you?

October 3, 2009
11:31 pm
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Worried_Dad
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Hi sdesigns,

No that is not how I feel about the matter. I believe that I am never finished, and can always learn and improve myself.

And I have been talking to a therapist lately which has been helpful.

The reason I asked is that I have heard that phrase uttered twice in my life under similar circumstances, and I am drawing a tenative conclusion that people who say it have some things in common.

October 3, 2009
11:56 pm
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sdesigns
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Hi WD:

Would one of those people be female? and the subject of a recent thread or two?

sd

October 4, 2009
12:13 am
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Worried_Dad
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Hi SD,

For this thread, I prefer to first gather data from the experiences of others, before discussing my own experience and ideas.

October 4, 2009
2:40 am
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Anam Cara
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Do we need a code breaker here?
Can yo keep it simple WD for us who read slowly (smile)

October 4, 2009
3:06 am
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Worried_Dad
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Hi Anam,

There is no code.

I was curious as to whether or not I was the "only one" here who has heard the phrase, so I asked a question, and phrased it as a "yes or no" question.

So, in this early information gathering phase of the thread helpful and appropriate responses would consist of one of two sentences.

One helpful response would be "Yes."

The other helpful response would be "no."

October 4, 2009
3:22 am
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mamacinnamon
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YES

October 4, 2009
3:50 am
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Anam Cara
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No that is not how I feel about the matter. I believe that I am never finished, and can always learn and improve myself.

AC

October 4, 2009
4:50 am
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andii
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yes

October 4, 2009
4:51 am
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darkeyes
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hi for me, "ive enough counceling to last a lifetime" means it doesnt ever finish, cos when you think you have it right to a point something else crops up for you to learn..sometimes i think ive lost it mentally,cos it takes a lot for me to quiten the mind. and in all this im finding it hard, sometimes i just wish life was "normal".if you can understand that.

October 4, 2009
6:28 am
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mamacinnamon
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I thought the question was have we
ever "heard" the phrase. That bein the case.. YEs, I have heard the phrase. NO, I think a person has never had enough of it coz there is always room to improve, but then that depends on whether you can afford it or not.

I respectfully change my answer to YES and then NO 😉

October 4, 2009
6:41 am
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darkeyes
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apologies, wasnt thinking straight in my answer..darkeyes

October 4, 2009
8:16 am
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It No Longer Matters
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Well I don't know who we are talking about but I have actually uttered the phrase, along with I bought and paid for this personality, and this is as good as it gets for me.

I have s-l-o-w-l-y learned from being here that just when I think I have a grip, I lose it. I have had a therapist once release me and tell me that I was an adult and I just needed to deal with life and he thought he had given me the tools to do that. I went about life for about 2 years and something happened and I called him up and told him I needed to come in for my 75,000 mile tune up. He laughed, we set the appointment. I told him what was going on and he said I was handling it just fine. I made it another 10 years before I sought therapy again. The last time I needed it, I simply couldnt' afford it. So I found this site and have struggled through to the person I am today.

Bitsy

October 4, 2009
8:31 am
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chelonia mydas
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Yes I have heard this and have even said it myself. I don't agree with it now, but I had very good reasons for feeling that way at the time. Those that have said it tend to not want to go to therapy and their visits were at the request of another (or in some cases court ordered). Those that don't agree and think that counseling is a life long support, have probably benefited from it and seen others benefit from it.

I said it after being in and out of the system as a child, where I was passed from one burned out counselor to another. These people were probably well intentioned in the beginning, but there are only many times that one can look at abused kids that they can't help before they just give up. The therapists were just one more adult I had to fight against or get around in order to get by in life. I was good at keeping secrets and the little bit I did share, they weren't very helpful with. Although looking back at some of it, I do see where some understood and helped, but at the time I didn't see it at all. When I was in my 20's I thought therapy had no value because historically it only made my life more difficult than it already was.

My father also repeated this phrase emphatically whenever we were ordered to do family counseling. He was an alcoholic and closet homosexual who would go to his court ordered appointments, do the bare minimum to get the counselor to sign off on his paperwork and then go on with his life.

He never admitted to being an alcoholic and only in the last years of his life did he begin to share his gay side only to a select few outside of the gay community. We were trusted to keep his secret because his life depended on it. If it got back to his brother, he would kill him. I think he was terrified of going to therapy because he was afraid they might discover his secret and out him publicly.

Those that have truely benefited from counseling, will understand the value of it and will have positive comments similar to those that are posted on this thread. I understand both sides of counseling, I have benefited from it and also been harmed by it. Its important to go when you are ready and to find someone that you are comfortable with.

If you are hearing this from someone in your life, consider if it is something they want. If it isn't, don't push it because if they aren't open to therapy, then it won't help. If they have toxic behaviors that therapy will help them work out, they will seek the help they need only if and when they are ready. If you can't accept those toxic behaviors then it is not the right time for your paths to cross and/or join.

I have gone to counseling off and on throughout my life. Right now I'm not going, even though I probably need it because I can't find a therapist that fits. I've had enough bad experiences that I know better than to add to it. I will seek counseling with the time is right for me.

Counseling is a life long resource that has profound effects on a person's ability to be mentally healthy.

October 4, 2009
9:27 am
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atalose
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Worried_Dad,

YES, I have heard that phrase.

So,to cut to the chase of your next phase of information gathering..........

I usually hear that phrase from people who were STILL unable to CONTROL the outcome of there circumstances after “some” counseling.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

October 4, 2009
9:28 am
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Isis
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No

October 4, 2009
12:02 pm
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sdesigns
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Sorry WD- not going to be one of your guinea pigs. Continue.

October 4, 2009
12:36 pm
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Worried_Dad
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Thanks to those of you who volunteered information. At least five people have heard the phrase.

I've heard it twice in my lifetime, both from people who, in my opinion, could definitely benefit from more counseling, but who, is seemed to me did not want their behavior scrutinized by a professional.

October 4, 2009
12:58 pm
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darkeyes
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worried dad, you could also look at it this way...yes people like me who have said "i have enough counceling to last a lifetime", can only deal with what they have at any given time, so can only deal with what is at the time,and feel maybe what theyve learnt and opened up in themselfs can be enough at the time to take in....i dont think it has anything to do with been scrutinized by a professional, coz we went there in the first place and we choose to go...once you open up to anyone theres no going back to where you began, and is that scary for many..

October 4, 2009
3:22 pm
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armyleo
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I know this doesn't related to the original question, but I just started counseling,for the first time ever, well went to 1 session 4 years ago and quit.

I'm not sure I understand...what it is i'm suppose to get out of it every week. some weeks i'm confused, others I just talk, and go home and feel like there should have been more...

It's like there something misisng.

October 4, 2009
3:50 pm
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CraigCo
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WD,

'No' - I wasn't familiar with that expression until now.

Armyleo,

The 'Bill Wilson' (co-founder of AA) story may possibly be relevant to your situation:

He (Wilson) tried everything to quit drinking but nothing worked. The person that finally got through to him was a member of some quasi-Christian group called the Oxford Group. The gentlemen that visited him one day in the mental ward, the day before Bill Wilson finally got sober for good, had actually sought help from Carl Jung himself, a contemporary of Freud, who invented terms like, “Introvert”, “Collective Unconscious” and the “Archetype”. After meeting with this hopeless Alcoholic Jung said to him, “there is nothing I can do for you; nothing modern science can do. What you need is a spiritual conversion”, and left it at that.

Maybe something to consider, huh?

October 4, 2009
3:58 pm
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freedom_calling
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YES.

Hear it from my sister who would definitely benefit from returning to therapy.

She seems to be softening as she sees me healing.

October 4, 2009
10:58 pm
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onlyboringontheoutside
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No, haven't heard that phrase.

October 5, 2009
10:16 am
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soofoo
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I have said, "I'm sick of counseling." "Fuck counseling." "Counseling Schmounseling."

I have also often wondered how therapists deal with the fact that when their patients are well, they have just lost income, and how they manage to help their patients to become independent when they are dependent on that money to pay their bills. (Now, this may not apply outside the US where there are sensible health care systems.)

Let's see what else?

I think that a life is meant to be lived, not analyzed. So, no one should be in therapy for most of their life, only enough time to have an epiphany, get on their feet, heal from a wound or do whatever else they need to do. Also, for many people talk therapy is not the route for this. Talk therapy is beneficial for a specific population.

Lastly, if you think someone else needs therapy, it's a sign that you should back off from that person and give her space. Resist the urge to analyze your loved ones. Even if they need to be analyzed they never need it from you. Even if you were a therapist, you would be unqualified to treat your own family and close friends.

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