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I`ve been in hell since 1986 & it keeps getting worse !
November 16, 2000
2:31 am
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sammi
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September 24, 2010
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It all started in 1986. My grandmother died. The woman who had done everything for her family was gone. It was time for my mother to take over. She didn`t feel the same way. My father was not going to stand for this. So she threw him out. He didn`t have far to go. We lived in the same apartment building as his parents. So he was just one floor down. My mother had never had a job, and was not about to start now. So she went on welfare. As long as grandma was around mom didn`t have to go food shopping either. So that job was passed on to me. Of course she would make out the list. But the rest was left to me. Let me tell you doing a month`s worth of food shopping for a family of 5 and then getting it home is not an easy task at the age of 12. Then she decided she was ready to start dating again. It was idiot after idiot. Untill she met the stupidest one of them all,Jim. Now us kids had an allowence of food and the adults ate like kings. He would even makeup stories to tell my mom so I would get punished. One night there was an argument. He tried to hit me and my mother took his side. The next day I moved in with my dad and grandparents. That didn`t last long either.Well I guess I have to finish my story tomorrow.It`s late I need some sleep. Untill then.

November 16, 2000
9:49 am
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goldhair
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Sammi, it really sounds like you have been through a lot. I can't imagine putting such a burden on a child or adult. I would really like to hear the rest of your story.

November 16, 2000
12:05 pm
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sammi
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Well I`m back. As I was saying I was 17 and had moved in with dad and his parents. Now my dad was really my stepdad but since we had always accepted each other he had always been dad. Now his mother was another story. I had been introduced into their family at the age of 2. I have no idea what I did to this woman. Nevertheless she just did not like me. Now that I was living there dad had given me freedom. I was allowed to go to my friends house,or maybe a movie. It didn`t matter to me where we went the imporant thing was I was allowed to go. I had been working for a year already and no longer had to give mom half my pay. So it wasn`t that they had to support me. I did that myself. All I needed was somewhere to sleep. Since I really didn`t want to be around someone who didn`t like me. I kept myself busy that summer. I worked from 6am-4pm, tutored my bosses grandson till 5pm, went next store to the gym for a half hour and made it home by 6 to have dinner with my gradfather. We would watch Jeopardy and my friends would come looking for me at 8 and I`d be home by 12. Grandma goes to bed at 1 and she wouldn`t give me a key. Nowif she had a problem with my schedule she never mentioned it to me. Hate to do this again, but I have to go I`ll finish later.

November 16, 2000
4:13 pm
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sammi
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O.K. I`m back but can`t stay long. One day my friends and I decided to meet up and catch a movie. My friend Joe decided to take a walk and come get me. At the same time I had already started up there using a diffrent path. When my friends told me we had missed each other, we all decided to go get him. In my absence he had been talking to grandma. On the way to the movies Joe had mentioned about how I was right about grandma not likeing me. Of course I asked for an explanation. She had told him she couldn`t take me anymore and was going to send me to my aunt`s house, on mom`s side. I was appalled, she had just asked me that morning to borrow $300 to pay some bills.I had given it to her and told her not to worry about it,keep it. She sure has a strange way of saying thank you. So at the time I was seeing this guy Jimmy. When I told him,he told me his brother and wife were looking for someone to rent a room to. I said I would.BIG MISTAKE!!!!! I went home told them. Noone tried to stop me. bye.later

November 17, 2000
3:44 am
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sammi
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Well here I am once again hopefully trying to finish the story. When I had returned home that night to start packing. I literaly tripped over my bags, which had already been packed and set in front of the door. So I took my bags and left. Jimmy`s brother and wife seemed pretty nice. We all hung out that night. Didn`t have much fun. I was still shocked about what just happened back at the house. Woke up went to work ,came home. Not even a half hour later Jimmy`s parents were pounding at the door. We let them in. They tell my Jimmy and his brother had gotten into a fight. Jim`s face was badly messed up. I was moving in with them immeditly. When we got back to their place the father started drinking. He apologized for getting that drunk. He was only doing it to help ease the pain caused buy his first born beating up his little brother. He said that would be the last time I would see him like this. He was right. Never again did I see him wait till 6pm before having a drink again. When I found out the parents were also heavy cocaine users. The situation became that much more colorful. Now I Could look foward to nights when Jim went out ,I stayed home with his mom . Who would pass out at about 12 and his dad who spent the rest of the night explaining what he would do to me if he wasn`t married. This happened three times before I told Jim. When I did there was a huge fight between them. We were thrown out that night. We had enough money to spend one night in a hotel. It just so happens that next day was the day in March of 93 that the area was hit with the biggest freak snowstorm ever, We walked for hours in that storm. Finally we got to grandma`s house and she let us stay for one night. Next day we moved in with his aunt. To sum things up
our relationship worsened. My son Michael was born in Aug. of 94. In aug`. of 95 he locked me out. I spent 3 nights in the park with my son less then a week before his first birthday. Luckily a room in one of the apt. above the store where I worked. But I didn`t have a babysitter. So he came towork with me every day. Well time for me to go I`ll be back soon.

November 18, 2000
9:10 pm
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janes
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Yes it soeslook like it is getting worse and worse.

Have you tried any help groups?

Womens shelters?
Salvation Army?

Did you graduate from high school?
Can you get some loans to get into some type of training school? There are groups that help. You don't have to do this on your own.

You may not have the family support others have but you are obviously a survivor.

Look in the yellow pages and you may find a group that will assist you.

You can make. You have so far and if you want you can go up instead of down.

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